It's Affection, Always
by NachoNachoMan1992
Summary: Both in possession of time turners Malfoy and Hermione Granger discover that with time on their side anything is possible. The prophecy Severus Snape heard concerning Harry Potter wasn't the only prophecy he heard that night. This revalation is about to shake up the lives of Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy like neither of them expected. Dramione.
1. Captivity

**AN:** Guys I'm in Dramione hell right now and I just felt like writing another. This will be long and slow burning I think. To anyone following my AOT story I am not abandoning it. I plan to update each story bi-weekly depending on free time. This fic is named after the song Affection by Cigarettes After Sex.

This chapter I'm listening to: Daya – Sit Still, Look Pretty. Bad ass sassy Hermione vibes.

Please feel free to read and review etc. Much love.

IMPORTANT NOTE: This story begins at the start of third year. In my story everyone is one year older than in canon. This will come into play later on as I feel writing mature sexual scenes between really young teenagers is a bit uncomfortable for me personally. So at the beginning of this Hermione has just turned 15 and Draco 14 (due to Hermione being one of the oldest in the year). This will be rated M for adult themes, language and much much later scenes of a sexual nature.

 **It's Affection, Always.**

 **Chapter 1- The only thing a boy's gonna give a girl for free's captivity.**

It was day one of third year and Hermione Granger's year was already off to the worst start. Dumbledore had called her to his office. What could she possibly have done? She was sitting awkwardly in the seat across form Dumbledore's desk. She jiggled her leg nervously and bit her lip. Fawkes cocked his head at her inquisitively. Dumbledore wasn't here yet. She fretted her hands. Please hurry up Professor. She felt sick with nerves. It didn't help that she could feel the boy who was leaning casually against the wall's gaze boring into the back of her skull. Why was _he_ here anyway?

Her eyes roved across the room lingering on all of the beautiful and strange artefacts contained within the office. Everything was so typically Dumbledore. It even smelled faintly of sherbet lemons. She quickly skimmed over the back corner the knot in her stomach tightening at the sight of the figure that was standing there. Draco Malfoy. She felt her jaw tighten at the mere sight of him. He'd grown taller over the summer and she was ashamed to admit he'd grown more handsome too. His white, blonde hair had grown slightly and was no longer slicked back but fell gently onto his forehead and into his grey eyes that were cast away from her. He seemed to be at the same slim, gangly stage of growth that both Harry and Ron were experiencing at the moment. But he didn't look awkward or uncomfortable with his tallness. Far from it. He looked handsome and confident. He had his arms crossed over his chest and he was glaring out of the window like he was trying to crack the glass just with his stare. His very presence always seemed to put on her edge. Where the hell was Dumbledore?!

"Granger are you seriously trying to make me angry?" He sighed exasperatedly.

Hermione sighed and whirled around in her seat to face him. His voice sounded deeper too. It made her feel strange.

"I'm not even doing anything Malfoy." She replied with venom.

Malfoy narrowed his eyes at her.

"Just even sharing the same air with _you_ is annoying." He said coldly.

"Feeling's mutual." She replied

"Some witches would be honoured to share the same air with me, maybe more than air if they play their cards right." He said with a smug smirk and quirk of his brow.

Hermione felt her face heat. Damn his handsome face. Stupid Malfoy. Why couldn't he look as ugly as he was on the inside?

She rolled her eyes and made a disgusted face.

"Well I'm glad I'm not one of them. What are you doing here anyway?" She replied haughtily.

Malfoy walked over to examine one of the objects on Dumbledore's shelf. It was a small crystal object and seemed to change colour as Malfoy rolled it between his thumb and forefinger.

"I told you. Dumbledore asked me to come to his office first thing. Old man must be going senile since he seems to have forgotten all about me."

Hermione sighed.

"Not everyone thinks you're important as you do. Dumbledore is a very busy man. Would you stop touching all of his things? You're going to break them." She replied in an annoyed tone as she massaged her temples.

Malfoy was giving her a serious headache.

Malfoy rolled his eyes.

"Granger everyone knows how important I am including you. Even if you won't admit it. Oh, loosen up will you? Think fast Granger." He said launching the object at her.

Hermione gasped and half leapt, half stumbled out of her seat as she grasped for the crystal. She juggled it between her fingers as it slipped between them. It felt cold in her fingers and in a state between liquid and solid. The object flew from her hands and she watched in horror as it flew through the air. Her chocolate eyes widened. Malfoy snatched it in his hand with ease with a confident grin.

Hermione narrowed her eyes at him.

"You're a prick Malfoy." She said with a defiant blush.

Malfoy's grey eyes widened slightly and he laughed.

"Such a dirty word from the lips of the goody goody Gryffindor Princess. You surprise me Granger."

Hermione felt her face heat as he watched her. She held his gaze even though her legs were starting to shake. She couldn't show him she was afraid. Be brave Hermione.

"No worse than what you've called me in the past." She said firmly.

Malfoy shrugged and nodded. She had a point.

If he was entirely honest he felt bad about calling her that. Sure he was a cruel guy but even he'd thought it had been a bit far, even for him. She'd only told him the truth. Potter was a better player than him, that fact still irked him, and that had nothing to do with his broom. It had really been Potter he'd been mad at but he'd taken it out on her. She'd wounded his pride and he'd reacted in the only way he knew how. It had especially hurt because it had come from her. If it had been Potter it would have stung less. He didn't really care about Potter's opinion. But her opinion mattered in a way that he never wanted to admit to anyone.

He and Potter hated each other. Enemies from day one. He was an idiot, completely brainless, and an arrogant arsehole to boot. Malfoy knew the only reason he was even passing his classes was because of Granger. Granger was smart, very smart she was the real reason that he and Weasley were still even alive. So yes if he was being honest in a very strange way he did care what she thought about him. Her opinion mattered more than theirs for the sheer fact she wasn't an imbecile.

The mere idea was ludicrous; he knew that, she was completely beneath him in every way. That's why he hid these thoughts deep down within himself where no one could ever see. It was shameful really. Her birth, her class everything was beneath him. Everything except her mind. Her mind was something else entirely. She didn't spend her time filling her head with nonsense like half the girls he knew who spent their time looking pretty and chasing after boys. Granger was focused on her work and he respected that about her at the very least. She was probably the only other person in their year that matched him, on an intellectual level at the very least. It used to annoy him seeing her name at the top of the test scores with his name below hers, except for in potions and DADA where he was ahead, a small victory, but after a while it had stopped affecting him. He found he didn't mind giving up the top spot to her. She worked three times as hard as he did trying to help Potter and Weasel make the grade. He supposed she deserved it more than him. His name alone and the connections he had would secure his future he didn't really need to try. But Granger had no such luxury.

He didn't know when exactly he'd stopped hating her. Probably that day he'd called her Mudblood. It hadn't gotten the reaction he'd expected. She hadn't cried. She'd just glared up at him with this hard, blazing look. He would never forget it. She didn't flinch away from him she just stood her ground. She didn't hit him or hex him even although he could tell she wanted to. She just stood there. And if Malfoy was honest for a moment he had felt afraid of her. He'd never told anyone that and he never would. Now his feelings towards her were complicated. He teased her with hate filled words but they were half hearted. And his respect for her outweighed the hate but if he even so much as breathed a word of that to anyone he would be killed. By his own father no less.

It didn't matter what he thought about her. She still hated him and she always would. He could tell from the hate filled glare she reserved only for him. When he had glanced over to see her had smiling and giggling with Potter and Weasley at the feast last night he had to admit she looked pretty. She'd grown prettier over the summer. Her hair had decreased in bushiness and now curled tamely to her shoulders in comparison. Her face was freckled lightly from days spent outdoors and her skinny, girlish frame was beginning to fill out. Again this was something he knew he had to keep to himself. It made him feel disgusting even to think like that. But as he gazed at her watching her cheeks flush and her dark lashes lower he realised that if Hermione had been a pure blood he would have asked her out by now and there would be no feelings of shame. But she wasn't a pure blood. And he was. Those were facts neither of them could avoid. So he would keep things the way they were because that's the way they had to be. Would always have to be.

Recently he was beginning to think the whole pureblood thing was old fashioned nonsense but his family had been the jewel in the pureblood crown for centuries. He was proud of his heritage and would have no choice but to follow tradition. It was what was expected of him and he wouldn't fail his father. He'd sometimes felt sorry for muggle-borns being trapped into a life of constantly being thought of as subpar but he guessed being a pure blood had its own entrapments too. He realised they'd been staring at one another saying nothing for the last few moments. Awkward. He couldn't be the first to look away. Just then Dumbledore swept into the room and they both broke each other's gaze. He'd never been more grateful to see the crazy old man in his life.

"Sherbet Lemon?" Asked Dumbledore as he gestured to a tub on his desk.

They both shook their heads.

"Please sit. Mr Malfoy, Miss Granger." He said as he gestured to the chairs opposite him.

They both took a seat.

Dumbledore looked over his half moon spectacles and gave them both a particularly warm smile.

Hermione swallowed thickly. Oh Merlin this was not going to be good.

"Well I expect you're probably wondering what you both are doing here." He said.

Hermione felt a little calmer upon hearing his voice.

Malfoy made a disgruntled sound and muttered beneath his breath.

"Obviously."

Hermione directed a glare towards him. Shut up Malfoy.

"Well as you know Miss Granger you are taking more subjects than it is physically possible to attend with your timetable-"

Malfoy snorted.

"Granger just when I thought you couldn't be any more of a loser-"

Hermione's glare intensified and Malfoy smirked. He knew that if Dumbledore were absent she would be unleashing a colourful array of words at him.

Dumbledore coughed and smiled at them both. Signifying he was not finished and would not tolerate many more interruptions.

"So for this year only I am entrusting you with a time turner. I know you are a very responsible young woman and that is why I am trusting you with this. It must be used only to attend your classes. Time is a fragile, complex thing Miss Granger and I trust you know that."

Hermione's eyes widened and she took the time turner from Dumbledore's hands. She admired it in her palms before slipping it around her neck disguising it beneath her robes.

"Thank you Professor. I understand completely."

Dumbledore nodded.

Malfoy coughed politely.

"Sorry to interrupt but what exactly does this have to do with me?" He asked coolly.

He was pretty annoyed that Granger would have something as cool as a time turner for an entire year and he knew she would only to use it to attend stupid, boring, unnecessary classes. Think of all the fun he could have if he had one…

Dumbledore smiled at him and produced another time turner.

"I am also bestowing one to you Mr Malfoy-"

"What?" Blurted out Hermione.

She blushed at her outburst and glared at Malfoy's satisfied smirk. Urgh she wanted to slap that smirk right off his face. If it weren't for Dumbledore's presence she may have.

"Annoyed you're not the only one getting special treatment Granger?"

"No, that's not it at all. I just don't think giving something that powerful and dangerous to someone like you is a good idea-" She said sourly.

Malfoy's eyes widened.

"So you don't trust Dumbledore's opinion?"

Hermione blushed. He was twisting her words.

"No. Of course I do. It's you –"

"Please – Miss Granger, Mr Malfoy. Feel free to continue your old, married couple bickering in your own time but for now listen carefully."

They both drew disgusted looks at each other.

But Dumbledore didn't fail to notice the tint of pink on their cheeks. That shut them up.

"Mr Malfoy as you are aware you have not yet taken your mandatory year of Muggle studies-"

"My father-"

"Yes. I have received his numerous letters. But nothing can excuse you from the rules I am afraid. All of our students must complete one year. You know that as well as I Mr Malfoy. I understand it is not your wish but rules are made to be abided at this school. For the purposes of educational equality everyone must learn the same approved curriculum. You may even come to find the teachings…somewhat illuminating Mr Malfoy." He replied cryptically with a twinkle in his blue eyes.

Malfoy paled and he felt anger flow through his veins.

"This is ridiculous!-"

Hermione barely stifled the giggles beneath her hand. This was hilarious. Oh glorious payback.

Malfoy glared at her.

"Find this funny Granger?"

Hermione shook her head but let her giggles burst forth. She couldn't help it.

"Perfect. So we all understand each other. As you will be the only two pupils with time turners I urge to use caution and responsibility and keep your time turners a secret from all other's even those closest to you understand? In the wrong hands time turners are very dangerous. So you will use them only to attend your extra classes and for two hours extra study per day that you will complete together in the room of requirement."

Hermione's laughter died on her lips. Dumbledore couldn't be serious? Two hours, alone, with Malfoy…they'd kill each other.

Hermione glanced at Malfoy in complete horror as Dumbledore finished speaking to them. She was happy to see a similar look of horror and disdain on his own pale face.

"I'm not studying with her."

"Sir, I'm not studying with him."

They replied simultaneously.

They glanced at one another quickly their cheeks flushing slightly.

Dumbledore's smile widened.

"I am afraid you have no choice. You will have to learn to work together in order to get through this year. Now you both have a lot of work to do. Run along. Any questions and you can come to me at any time. Questions remember not complaints."

Hermione wrinkled her nose and Malfoy looked disgusted.

The world would stop turning before they learned to work together she knew that for certain.

"I assume you are both mature enough to organise your own meeting times. I have informed both Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall of the situation should you acquire their assistance."

The bell's chimed and Dumbledore gestured towards the door.

"I think you both have classes to attend if I'm not mistaken." He said with a soft smile.

Hermione and Malfoy looked at one another in complete disbelief. This was actually happening. Hermione swung her hair over her shoulder defiantly and nodded at Dumbledore.

"Professor." She said with a nod.

She stood and Malfoy stood with her securing his own time turner around his neck. They walked to the door consciously avoiding eye contact.

They made for the door at the same time and her shoulder bumped into his arm. They glared at one another neither daring to move.

"Ladies first." Said Hermione through gritted teeth.

Malfoy rolled his eyes.

"Hilarious Granger. No, I insist." He said gesturing to the door with a mock gentlemanly bow.

Hermione blushed and tensed her jaw. He was infuriating. It was also infuriating how warm his arm was against her.

"If both of you don't stop blocking this door way I will remove you both." Said the cold drawl of Professor Snape.

Hermione stiffened as she gazed into the black eyes of Severus Snape who was waiting to enter the office. Without another word she squeezed between him and Malfoy.

She began to descend the stairs. Malfoy caught up to her and she sighed. She supposed she better start getting used to this.

"So when should we meet tonight?" Asked Hermione shyly.

Malfoy laughed.

"You aren't seriously going to listen to that crazy old bat? My father will find a way to get me out of this stupid situation." He said coldly.

"And until then?" She asked.

"Until then I sure as hell am not spending two hours of my day with you. We don't all spend our free time in the library. Some of us actually have places to go and people to see. I don't have time for all this nonsense."

Hermione rolled her eyes. He was such pompous ass.

"It doesn't thrill me either, trust me. But we don't have a choice, at least for now. Meet me at 7." She said.

Malfoy groaned.

"This can't be happening. I have Quidditch practice at 7. You can't boss me around like Potter or Weaselbee Granger."

Hermione shook her head and sighed.

"For someone so smart you're pretty stupid."

Malfoy frowned and tensed his fists angrily at her half compliment.

Hermione stepped in front of him on the stairs. She swung her time turner like a pendulum in front of his moody face.

"Use this. After Quidditch practice go back to 7 and meet me in the room of requirement."

Malfoy sighed but nodded. She was right. Right now he had no choice if they refused they would just get punished by Snape and McGonagall. He had no intentions of getting on the wrong side of his godfather.

"Fine. But don't expect to make this a regular thing alright. The thought of being in your company every day makes me feel queasy."

"Again the feeling is entirely mutual Malfoy."

She rushed off with a glare aimed straight at him. He watched her for a moment. He watched her long brown, unruly ponytail swinging from side to side. This was the worst start of term ever. His father would most definitely be hearing about this.

Snape shook his head at Dumbledore.

"Do you really think this is the best idea Albus?"

Dumbledore laughed gleefully.

"Severus, it's a terrible idea. One of my worst in fact. But you and I both know what it will mean for them both, and for us all, if they learn to put their differences aside. You heard the prophecy."

Severus sighed but nodded.

"But they are only children. Is it really right for us to push them together like this? Even if it is for the greater good?"

Dumbledore hesitated and smiled at Severus meaningfully.

"Do not think that because we are merely nudging them in the right direction that they would not have reached the same destination on their own. They are more like minded than they realise. Do they not remind you of anyone Severus? They are very intelligent, proud, stubborn, prejudiced and teasing towards each other. A slytherin and a very talented muggle born Gryffindor. "

Severus caught his eyes suddenly and smiled sadly. Yes they did remind him. But his and Lily's story had not had a happy ending in any sense of the word. He wondered if he dared to hope for anything other than a tragic end for both Hermione and Draco. He was scared for them and all that they would have to face. Draco was pouty and spoiled but he was a very sensitive, talented boy beneath it all. And Hermione, although he gave her a hard time, was truly astounding for her age. Her kindness and determination reminded him greatly of the only woman he had ever and would ever love. He hoped that they would have the chance he and Lily had been denied. If only he'd learned to let his prejudices go. Don't make the same mistake Draco or you'll spend the rest of your life regretting it.

Dumbledore smiled sadly as he watched Severus remember.

"Have faith Severus. Have faith that love will conquer hate. Our very lives and the future of the magical world may depend on it."


	2. Mean and Pathetic

**AN:** Thanks to any one reading along and to percabethbooklion for the review. I forgot to say so basically Dumbledore has also shown them how to use the room of requirement and to tell no one else. That's all folks.

 **Chapter 2 – All You are is mean and a liar and pathetic and alone in life.**

Hermione sighed as she tapped her quill idly against her parchment between spells of furious note taking. He was late. He probably wasn't going to show at all. She had no idea why she'd come herself. For once Hermione found herself hoping that Malfoy would get his father to do something about this predicament that they currently found themselves in. But with the loss of his position as school governor last year she highly doubted he would. Hermione never revelled in other's misfortunes but a smile touched her lips at the thought of Lucius Malfoy being defeated by Harry's sweaty sock.

It had taken her a few moments to understand how the room actually worked. Dumbledore had been his typical very vague self about how to use the room. Just think about what you require and it will appear? Hermione had stood outside and tried to focus on a place to study. When she'd opened the door she'd gasped at the sight. It was a fairly small intimate space and resembled the Gryffindor common room. It had a particularly squashy couch over beside the roaring fire. A desk and two chairs stood in the centre of the room. There was a pot of coffee and a flask of pumpkin juice over at the side beside some sandwiches and cauldron cakes. Hermione was sitting at the desk her fingers tapping against her second cup of coffee. She found she kept glancing towards the door and she had a nervous feeling of butterflies in her belly. Like the feeling she got before an important exam. Except there were no exams it was only Malfoy.

The door burst open and Malfoy entered. His hair was damp and clung against the pale skin of his forehead. His shirt was unbuttoned at his throat and his tie hung loosely around his collar like an unfurling green and silver serpent. She glimpsed the glint of the time turner chain at his pale throat. His shirt was also untucked and it looked like he'd just thrown his uniform on haphazardly. She'd never seen him looking anything other than impeccably dressed before and the sight of him looking slightly ruffled and messy did surprise her. She felt herself blush and she desperately pulled her eyes back to her parchment.

"You're late Malfoy. And you know with a time turner you don't really have an excuse." She said dryly making sure her eyes stayed on her quill instead of where they wanted to go.

He sighed and collapsed onto the sofa next to the fire.

When he didn't answer her she glanced across at him and wished she hadn't.

He was lying stretched out on the sofa. One arm supported the back of his head and the other sloped along the back of the sofa. Hermione swallowed. Her face felt very warm and the butterflies in her stomach fluttered restlessly. Draco Malfoy reclining on a sofa with messy hair and clothing was a beautiful sight to behold. His pale eyelashes flickered as he closed his eyes. She'd never seen him relaxing like this he looked tired. When he opened his eyes again he wrinkled his nose as he looked around the room. She flicked her eyes away from his when his grey eyes locked with hers and returned her concentration to her studies. Her pulse was racing. It was so loud she thought he must surely hear it.

"Did you miss me Granger?" He asked a teasing smirk on his face.

Hermione scowled.

"You have to actually like someone in order to miss them." She replied coldly.

Malfoy rolled his eyes.

"I thought you would at least be grateful I didn't show up in my muddy, sweaty Quidditch robes." He said.

Hermione shook her head.

"Don't make an effort on my account. People might start getting ideas." She replied hotly.

She was trying to ignore the fact that the image of Malfoy in sweaty Quidditch robes wasn't entirely revolting.

Malfoy smirked as he moved from the couch and made his way over to the food at the side. He pulled himself up on the counter behind Granger. He poured himself a cup of pumpkin juice and helped himself to a sandwich. Dumbledore had told him to study. He hadn't said what to study specifically. He watched Granger's unruly brown curls bobbing slightly as she wrote. In the firelight he could see where the summer sun had tinted the tips of each curl a honey blonde. He followed the curls down to the slim curve of her waist. Granger had become very pretty indeed over the summer.

Hermione could feel his eyes on her. She groaned and spun round in her seat.

"Are you going to study or not Malfoy?" She asked.

Hermione felt her pule quicken as she watched him. He drained his pumpkin juice in one long sip. She watched his Adam's apple in his pale, sinewy neck bob.

"I am studying." He said with a flash of his silvery eyes.

Hermione couldn't hide her reaction to his bold statement. She felt her cheeks flush and she gasped slightly. He hadn't meant it like _that_ though had he? It was impossible. He was just teasing her like usual.

"Whatever Malfoy." She replied as she returned to her work.

She tried to ignore the fact that her heart was beating like crazy.

She sighed heavily as she heard his footsteps and the chair across from her being pulled out.

She managed to write for a few more minutes before his presence became entirely too distracting again.

She put her quill down more firmly than she'd intended to. She raised her eyes to his. He was eating a sandwich just watching her with those cool, grey eyes of his. His pale, long fingers were making indents on the bread. He was taking very small almost delicate bites. She was struck by the difference in how someone like Draco Malfoy ate a sandwich compared to someone like Ron. Ron would have inhaled the sandwich in seconds leaving a trail of crumbs on his chin. Not Malfoy.

There was an air of restraint and poise in everything Malfoy did. She imagined he'd been taught only the finest table manners from birth. She found herself wondering if Malfoy had ever eaten jam from a jar with a spoon, or even with a sneaky pinkie finger, as a child. Or if he'd made mud pies. Or if he'd jumped in puddles. She struggled to believe he would have been allowed to ruin his clothes or act in such a way. She hadn't known what made her think of that in that moment but the realisation made her a little sad. He was an only child too just like her. But where her parents had allowed her to run free she doubted his had. She imagined that Malfoy's childhood had been reserved, lonely and cold. Like his eyes.

She cleared her throat awkwardly.

"So what did you think of class today?" She asked.

Malfoy's eyes widened slightly in surprise.

Hermione was surprised at herself. What was she doing trying to make conversation with _him_? But he was just so unnerving that she found herself needing to fill the silence.

"Awful. Can you believe they actually tried to teach us some sort of 'fun' muggle party games? Such a waste of time. Dumbledore is even more stupid than I thought making that part of the curriculum here. Durmstrang would never entertain it. "

Hermione smiled at his disgusted expression. The image of Draco Malfoy attempting to play Twister with his pouty expression was just too much.

"Something funny Granger?" He asked his eyes narrowing.

Hermione shook her head but her smile widened.

"No. You know you might find you actually enjoy some of them if you stop being so moody about it. Go to Durmstrang then. I'm sure someone like you would be welcomed with open arms." She said with a shrug.

Malfoy scowled at her.

"They would have." He said.

Hermione's eyes widened.

"You got accepted into Durmstrang?"

Malfoy nodded.

"My father wanted me to go there."

Hermione nodded.

"No surprises there." She said.

"What's that supposed to mean." He asked defensively.

"Durmstrang excludes lowly muggle borns like me. A rule no doubt you and your father would like to put in place here." She said sourly.

Malfoy's eyes flickered slightly and Hermione noticed a faint blush tinting his cheeks. He looked cute when he blushed. It made him look less pale, less serious, less cold. Cute? What on earth had possessed her to think that.

"Don't speak of my father. And don't presume to know what I think." He said coldly.

Hermione blushed. She was annoyed to find that his close proximity was scrambling her brain slightly. She'd never spent this much time with him before. As he leant forwards she could smell the shampoo from his damp hair. And something else it was warm and spiced almost like ginger tea.

The way he looked at her it was almost as if he knew about their little polyjuice plot from last year. Perhaps he did know. Malfoy had his sources too.

Hermione rolled her eyes.

"I don't ever want to know what you think about Malfoy."

Hermione gulped as she watched Malfoy's eyes harden. She knew as soon as the words were out of her mouth that she'd hit a nerve. She didn't understand why he made her act this way. With everyone she knew she was friendly, kind or at the very least civil. But he was different. He crawled beneath her skin and pushed all her buttons until she finally unleashed all that pent up anger at him.

"You think you have me all figured out don't you Granger?" He said with a crooked smile.

Hermione shook her head.

"I have no intention of figuring you out. All you'll ever be is mean and pathetic."

Malfoy's eyes widened and for the briefest of moments she thought she saw a brief flash of some emotion in them it was gone before she could be sure.

Hermione bit her lip. She'd really let her mouth run away this time. Her heart raced in the silence. To her surprised there was no barbed retort from Malfoy's cruel mouth. He simply glanced away from her not saying another word. He proceeded to pull a book from his bag and he began writing notes in complete silence.

Hermione swallowed as guilt settled in the pit of her stomach. She watched him for a moment concentrating on his work. She should apologise. She'd been of line. But she didn't know how to apologise to him. He had never apologised to her when he'd called her 'mudblood'. But after that day he hadn't ever addressed her ever again. He and Harry were always at each other's throats. Malfoy and Ron too but he never involved her. He just ignored her presence like what he was doing now. She wondered why that was. She sighed. It was too late now. She returned to her notes and they spent the rest of their study time in complete silence. Well this was going well.

Malfoy focused on the motions of his quill. Her words rang in his head. He turned them over and over whilst remembering the coldness in her usually warm chocolate eyes. He was mean and pathetic and cruel. She was only speaking the truth so why did it hurt so much? He felt a sudden hollow, cold sensation coming from somewhere deep within himself. He let it spread through him. He watched her in the flickering, soft lamplight. He could tell she'd regretted her words instantly. For the life of him he couldn't think why. He'd deserved them after all the things he'd said. But that was the thing with Granger she was kind and warm and never vindictive.

Potter and Weasley were more than happy to throw insults at him. He'd usually started it anyway. But not her. Granger wasn't one to throw mean words around unless she really meant them. Maybe that's why his chest hurt so much right now. Somewhere down in his hollow chest that had never known love or kindness he felt a little more of himself chip away as her words resonated long after they'd fallen silent.

Hermione glanced at what Malfoy was working on. She smiled it was a little game of hangman. Their muggle studies homework for next week was an essay on muggle social activities. He had a frown on his face. She cleared her throat gently.

"You're supposed to play that with two people. May I?" She asked.

Malfoy gazed at her for a moment. He was surprised to hear her speaking to him. He didn't say anything. He didn't know what to say. He didn't have any barbed retorts for her. He just nodded. He watched her hesitate for a moment before her cheeks flushed lightly. She moved around to his side of the desk leaning over him slightly as she explained to him, picking up his quill and drawing diagrams on his parchment. She wasn't looking at him she was intent on her work. Her curls brushed against the side of his cheek. Soft and floral scented.

Her voice seemed to fade to a low hum as he watched her. Her cheeks were flushed there was a rare animated smile on her lips. One that she usually reserved for Potter or Weasley. Granger had a rare type of beauty about her. One that shone from within her and glowed around everything she touched. She wasn't the prettiest girl by any means but somehow when he compared her with all those other 'pretty' girls they seemed to fade and wilt beside her. She'd grown into her teeth. The fact they were still slightly too large for her small pink mouth and sometimes he would glimpse her white teeth grazing the flesh of her bottom lip was far from unattractive. He couldn't quite explain what it was she had that other girls didn't and he wasn't sure he wanted to get to the root of it.

Hermione frowned slightly. Malfoy was looking at her with the strangest expression. It was like he had never seen her before in his life. Maybe he'd been hit by a bludger at practice and was only showing symptoms now? She was finding it increasingly difficult to concentrate with him staring at her with those big, grey eyes of his. And as she leant closer over him she was alarmed to find that she was assaulted by the scent of his shampoo and body wash. It was peppermint and fresh meadow. The scent was deep and intoxicating and seemed to be burrowing itself into her brain. Her arm hairs stood on end as she inhaled. What was happening to her?

"Are you alright?" She asked quietly trying to distract from her own strange thoughts.

Malfoy nodded wordlessly.

"You know we don't even really play games like this at parties." Said Hermione with a smile and shake of her head.

Malfoy rolled his eyes.

"How would you know about party games Granger? Didn't think you'd stop reading long enough to go to a party."

Hermione tensed her jaw. She would definitely punch him before this year was out.

"You think you have me all figured out don't you?" She asked her eyes boring into his.

Malfoy's lips twitched.

"I don't want to figure you out Granger. I just want to pass this class and put this entire dire situation behind us."

Hermione smirked at his petulant expression. She really did enjoy watching him suffer, just a little bit.

"Let's play a game then." She said her eyes still holding his.

Malfoy suddenly felt his mouth dry. What kind of game did Granger have in mind exactly? This Granger looked dangerous and almost menacing. Her lips were curled in a teasing smile and her eyes were dark and dangerous. Who was Granger really? He realised he had no idea the first thing about her. Other than being a know-it-all muggle born witch he knew nothing.

When he hesitated. Hermione's smile widened.

"What's the matter Malfoy scared of a little mudblood like me?" She asked.

Malfoy flinched at her use of the word. He didn't like the way it sounded it all. It had been a mistake to call her that. The truth was he _was_ scared of her. Because Granger wasn't afraid of anything and he was afraid of everything. His father. His feelings. Being a constant disappointment. Sometimes he felt like he would crack beneath the pressure of it all. Granger was staring straight through to his black soul. She could see right inside all the hollow places and that scared him most of all.

"You wish. Go on then." He said with a cool smirk.

Just then the clock chimed in the room. It was 9. Their time was up.

"Tomorrow. 7 again?" She asked as she collected her pieces of parchment and books.

Malfoy nodded dazedly at a loss of what to say for the second time in one night. What was going on here?

Hermione gave one last pointed look at Malfoy before exiting the room.

Malfoy pressed the pads of his fingers against his closed eyelids. He felt so strange. What were they getting themselves into exactly? He could still smell the roses from her hair and they didn't fade until long after he was lying in his four poster bed. Lying but not sleeping. He had too much going round in his head not least Granger's words. He was pathetic even Granger knew that. He sighed. He wouldn't ever be good enough would he?


	3. Neverland is home to lost boys like me

AN: Thankyou so much for your faves and follows. Really appreciate them as this story is going to be loooonnnng so thanks for taking this journey with me. At the moment I'm going to try and keep it to 10 chapters per book and that's still 50 chapters…eek.

This chapter I'm listening to Ruth B – Lost Boy.

 **Chapter 3 – Neverland is home to lost boys like me.**

"Pay up Mr Banker, come on? £200 please." Said Hermione.

Malfoy scowled and Hermione grinned.

"This is a stupid game Granger. How do you get £200 just for passing GO? What even is GO?" Moaned Malfoy.

Hermione shrugged.

"I didn't make the rules Malfoy. Now cough it up. £200." She said beaming.

Malfoy shook his head. She was impossible. She was enjoying this far too much. Draco Malfoy did not like to be beaten. He was not a gracious loser even at something as stupid as this muggle game. He reluctantly handed her over two 100 notes.

"Is this what real muggle money looks like?" He asked as he frowned down at the colourful paper sheets.

Hermione shook her head. Her eyes widened slightly at the fact he wanted to know something about muggles. He was inquisitive though she'd picked up on that over the few short hours they'd spent together. She got the idea that his thirst for knowledge came before all his other impulses, something they shared. She blushed at the revelation. Her and Malfoy didn't share anything.

"No muggle money is much duller in colour usually green or blueish far less exciting really. Pounds aren't too different from galleons. Except there are 100 pennies in a pound so pennies aren't really the same as a knut-"

"You're rambling muggle nonsense again Granger. Now will you just let me roll?" He asked with a raised brow.

Hermione blushed and nodded.

Malfoy picked up his piece, an iron, and moved it to Mayfair.

"Why do I have to be the iron? At least the car makes sense." He said broodily scowling at Hermione's piece, the car.

"I get the feeling you aren't enjoying this game Malfoy." She said with a barely contained smile.

"Of course I'm not! First of all it's a stupid, pointless muggle game. Second of all I'm having to play it with _you_. And third you're winning." He said with a scowl.

Hermione bit her lip.

"Well now may not be the best time to tell you this but, Mayfair is mine so…cough up Malfoy."

Malfoy sighed and depleted his small stack of money handing it to her.

"You're enjoying this aren't you Granger?"

"Of course I am. I officially have more money than Draco Malfoy. How does it feel to be a muggle pauper?" She asked fanning herself with her wad of money.

Granger was infuriating but he would be lying if he said he wasn't enjoying this teasing back and forth. There was no mean intent behind the words, not really. And Hermione was due payback after all the mean things he'd said to her. She was funny. Hermione Granger was funny and witty he'd learned that from only a few days in her company. He'd always thought she'd be serious and studious with little sense of humour but he was wrong. She was bookish and hard working but the girl was funny and she knew how to have a laugh even if she did choose to have it at his expense. She surprised him the longer he spent in her company.

"Oh haha very funny Granger." He replied sarcastically.

But he felt his mouth twitch despite his best efforts. She made him feel strange. For the couple of hours he was with her he felt at ease. With her there was no need to pretend. He didn't have to act a certain way. There was no need to. It was a liberating feeling if he was honest. He'd never felt like that before. Locked away in here he was free from his father's judgement, the opinion of the public and Potter's infuriating little jibes, which he encouraged, but still. To be honest the past few days spent in Granger's company hadn't been so bad. He'd actually stopped looking for ways to stop them happening. They mostly just studied swapping occasional pleasantries. It was terrifying if he was perfectly honest. Something in his gut told him that their little secret meetings were plain wrong but he didn't feel they were doing anything wrong. He was only innocently playing some muggle game with muggle born Granger. His stomach dropped at the thought. If his father found out about this he wouldn't even have time to apologise. He'd kill him.

Hermione smiled as they both pored over their textbooks. She'd completely destroyed Malfoy at Monopoly and he still wore a scowl as his pale fingers gripped his quill tighter than usual. Hermione smiled at his expression. His eyes caught hers and her heart thumped in her chest. That was odd. She went back to her parchment.

"Have you started that three foot essay for Binns yet?" Asked Hermione.

Malfoy raised his brows at her question. She usually only talked to him about classes they shared together; muggle studies, potions and care of magical creatures which they would have their first lesson of in a few days.

Malfoy shook his head.

"I'm not worried about it to be honest. His lesson on the Goblin rebellion we had yesterday pretty much covered everything we needed in the essay. If you managed to stay awake past the ten minute mark it actually got pretty interesting. I'm convinced Binns died of boredom listening to his own voice though. You?"

Hermione's mouth opened and her eyes widened. Was this person even Draco Malfoy? He was really very intelligent she'd never thought about it before. But his marks were always fairly close behind hers on result boards.

"What?" He asked getting increasingly self conscious from the way she was staring at him.

Hermione shook her head regaining the functions of speech.

"Nothing I was just surprised that's all. I didn't know you – "

"Weren't just a pompous arsehole and actually have a brain cell in my head?"

Hermione shook her head but smiled. He was sort of cute in a vulnerable way when he was self deprecating like that. She somehow got the feeling the big, bad pureblood act was a bit of an act the more time she spent with him.

"No I was going to say I didn't know you liked history."

Malfoy cast his eyes away shyly. When she wasn't being mean to him things were strange between them. It left him feeling oddly lost and exposed somehow.

"Well you never asked." He replied defensively.

Hermione nodded. He was right. She'd never really spoken to him or asked him anything personal. He wasn't exactly approachable under normal circumstances but she got the feeling he was different here. Maybe away from prying eyes she was finally seeing the real Draco Malfoy. Or perhaps just another mask. He was complicated and this situation was getting more complex by the minute. She didn't know anything about him, well this him anyway. The him that wasn't Draco Malfoy the bully that continually tortured her best friends. He'd stopped being mean to her a year ago and she found that strange but she didn't bring it up. She didn't want to waste this fragile teasing yet amicable balance they had between them.

"I'm almost finished mine. Do you mind reading it over? I don't really have anyone else to ask about it." She admitted shyly.

Draco's eyebrows almost rose to his hairline.

"You want _me_ to read over _your_ essay." He asked slowly.

Hermione rolled her eyes and rifled through her extremely full bag handing the essay to him.

"Oh shut up. Don't make a big deal out of this or anything. I just want an opinion from someone more academically like minded."

Malfoy laughed.

Hermione had never heard Malfoy laugh before. His smile transformed his whole face. It lit up his grey eyes and made them warm and almost comforting.

"That was one of the best putdowns of Potter and Weasel I've ever heard. Good one Granger."

Hermione blushed.

"I didn't mean it like that! I just mean they're not very interested in history. They're both very talented in other subjects." She replied hastily seeing the error of her words.

Malfoy nodded with a smug expression on his face.

"Sure, sure. Your secret is safe with me Granger. But I don't think I'll ever forget the moment you admitted that you think I'm smart." He said teasingly.

"Well you are smart. It's just an unavoidable fact. No need to be so smug about it Malfoy."

Malfoy smiled at the way she delivered everything so matter of factly. But he could see from her blush that it had embarrassed her slightly to compliment him. It must have wounded her Gryffindor pride greatly to admit that. He nodded choosing to not tease her any further on the subject. He began to read her elegant, neat script. Everything was so uniform and in the lines. It was actually very similar to his own handwriting except Hermione's had feminine, soft loops where his had spiky angles. It was a very good essay. Far better than anything he could ever hope to produce. But he had to at least offer something. She watched him intently worrying her lip slightly. Malfoy frowned did she actually care what someone like him thought? Why?

"It's perfect. Nothing else to add really. Except maybe swap the second and third paragraphs around you're just getting into the flow of discussing the rebellion then cut away to a quote. Personally I'd put the quote first then discuss it but it's nothing major."

They looked into one another's eyes neither saying anything for a moment. Hermione hadn't known how it felt to intellectually connect with someone her own age until this moment. And it felt wonderful. It made her feel warm and strange. Harry and Ron were her best friends but they weren't as interested in academics as her. They loved their Quidditch and their DADA practical sessions; especially with their new teacher Lupin who she had to admit was brilliant. But it just wasn't the same.

"Thanks. You're right. I knew there was something jarring about that part." She said gratefully taking her essay back.

Malfoy felt his face heat slightly. She was agreeing with him? He hesitated for a moment then nodded awkwardly.

This felt so weird they were being almost friendly with each other. But it didn't feel bad just incredibly strange.

They returned to their work but Hermione was smiling as she wrote. It felt so good to speak with someone who had interesting input to contribute academically. Malfoy had surprised her. She'd surprised herself if she was honest.

"Have you started your reading for the literature segment of Muggle Studies?"

Malfoy shook his head.

"Let me guess you have." He said.

Hermione nodded shyly.

"I had read them all anyway. Here take my copies. I know you didn't know you'd be taking this class." She said producing four novels out of her bag.

Malfoy didn't know what to say. Should he thank her? His stomach clenched at the thought.

"You don't have do that-"

"I honestly won't be needing them. I've read them loads each."

He nodded his thanks and flipped through the well read covers. These must be her personal copies they had her notes in the margins. His heart thumped slightly for some strange reason as he read over them.

"Pride and Prejudice is the first one. I think you'll like it it's about a rich pompous guy."

Malfoy glared at her but his eyes softened when she laughed. She had a pretty laugh. Clear and pure.

"Sorry. Couldn't resist." She said.

Malfoy rolled his eyes but placed the books gratefully in his bag.

"Have you ever read muggle literature before?" She asked.

Malfoy blushed and Hermione smiled at his reaction. Her guess was his thirst for knowledge had led to him reading some texts that would be forbidden by a certain Lucius Malfoy.

He nodded shyly.

"Full of questions tonight aren't we Granger? But yes. We have a library at home it's full of rare books and first editions and the like. I used to spend entire summers in there as a kid. When I wasn't on my broom I was reading. Sometimes I used to wish for the rain to come so I could spend the day in there. I read everything cover to cover. History, dark magic, fairy tales, anything. But then I found this section at the back, it was hidden and protected by charms. My father caught me trying to get into them and he punished me for days. But my curiosity got the better of me and my mother lifted the spells. She said father had no right to keep any knowledge from me and that I could read them. She told me they were muggle books from one of her great ancestors who had shacked up with a muggle and brought great shame to the family. They'd been expelled from the family, had to change their name and everything. She told me I could read them but it'd be our secret as father wouldn't understand. So I read as much and as often as I could. Careful never to let father catch me. I think it made them more exciting to read you know because they were forbidden to me."

He said his eyes intent on hers.

Hermione hadn't expected him to tell her something personal like that. She was surprised how idyllic that little snippet of his childhood sounded. Well except for the creepy controlling father part. She'd always wanted to have a library in her home. She hadn't expected his honesty or the fact that she had spent similar, rainy summers in her bedroom reading as a child. She imagined them both as children looking out of their windows praying for the rain to come. She blushed at her thoughts. Where had that come from?

She smiled at his shy expression she go the feeling he hadn't meant to reveal so much to her.

Malfoy's heart was racing. Why the hell had he just told that to her and why the hell was she watching him intently as if waiting for him to say more?

"So you've always been a rule breaker then? So what did you think of them?"

He hesitated but he couldn't deny the way her inquisitive brown eyes begged him for more information.

"My mother told me it was a mix of the muggle woman's and the kids that they'd had. So I started off on the ones I thought were the kid ones. Alice in Wonderland, Peter Pan, Treasure Island but they were pretty complicated. It was so different from anything I'd ever read. I didn't even understand half the muggle stuff in them but my imagination just took over. I loved them and when I'd read them cover to cover I moved onto Shakespeare and Jules Verne. They made me want to go outside the manor and go on great adventures. But I wasn't allowed. I asked mother for more muggle books but she said no and told me she was going to lock them away again and that I should never tell any of our friends about what I'd read. I cried when she locked them away."

He finished with a sad smile. He was surprised to see that Hermione's eyes looked wet.

"I'm sorry." She whispered.

Malfoy frowned surprised at her words.

"Why? It's not a big deal. I was a kid. I understand now why they locked them away. I'm not sad about it."

Hermione shook her head violently.

"Do you understand though? Can't you see how wrong that was?" She asked incredulously.

Malfoy nodded.

"Of course I do. It was wrong of me to read them I should have listened to my father instead of filling my head with muggle nonsense." He said coldly.

Hermione reached across the table and grasped his wrist lightly with her hand.

"No. You weren't wrong. You were just a curious child innocently looking for knowledge and your parents took that knowledge away from you. You enjoyed reading them and those books expanded and changed how you thought and felt. They took them away from you because they were afraid you would start to get your own ideas and that those ideas would be different from theirs." She said gently.

Malfoy frowned she was making him feel strange. He felt her warm tanned fingers at his pale wrist. Was what Hermione said right? Was it really his parents that were wrong and not him? He'd never thought of it that way before. Hermione flushed and pulled her hand away. He looked down at his wrist once more. She'd touched him with her mudblood fingers. They didn't feel any different from other fingers. Warm, gentle, soft. He shook his head she was filling his head with absolutely insane ideas. This wasn't right.

"Don't talk about my parents alright Granger. I doubt they'd appreciate being judged by the like of you." He said firmly.

Hermione blushed shamefully. She had spoken out of turn but he made her angry. He'd been so open and gentle with her a moment ago but his now his guard was back up and he was mean again.

"I'm not judging anyone. I'm not the type of person to do something like that. But I was just trying to say that you didn't do anything wrong. You don't think for yourself do you? If I asked you for your opinion on something would you be telling me your real, honest opinion or something your father taught you to think?"

Malfoy suddenly felt as if Hermione was peering into all of the dark corners of his mind and soul. She could see what he really was. Nothing. A husk of a person filled to the brim with his father's ideals and his mother's bias love.

"Where do you get off asking me something like that Granger? How about you? If I asked you your opinion, about me for example, what would you say about me?" He asked angrily.

Hermione bit her lip. She'd gone too far and she somehow couldn't stop. He was infuriating.

"That you're confused and complicated. Maybe I did judge you before as being a bully, cruel and conceited. But maybe I was wrong to do that. I honestly don't know yet but I think maybe there's something more. Something you've hidden deep down inside yourself because you think it's wrong. But it isn't like the books Malfoy. You can't lock this away and forget about it, can you? I know its scary but don't be afraid of those things you locked away. We're safe in here you know. No one else needs to know. Let them out."

Her eyes bored into his and he couldn't take it anymore she would see. She'd seen to the heart of Draco Malfoy after only a few hours in his company. His mask was slipping. His heart was racing in the lengthy silence. What now?

Hermione Granger had royally messed up. Just apologise to him you twit. Swallow your pride and say you were spouting a load of rubbish. But she saw in his eyes that she had seen to the truth buried deep inside him. He wasn't mean or pathetic. He was a little lost boy not sure about anything.

He stood from the table trying to remain calm despite the fact he felt completely terrified and angry and unsure. Granger had done something to him and that something made him ache inside. He felt hollow and sick.

"Malfoy!" She shouted after him as he strode out of the room of requirement.

She didn't follow him. Good. He didn't want to see her ever again. Or look into those compassionate brown eyes that made him feel like anything was possible. It wasn't possible. The books were locked away with the rest of his thoughts and feelings.

Hermione bit her lip. She felt awful. Tomorrow she'd keep her mouth shut. They'd just read and write. Nervous butterflies filled her stomach. He would come back wouldn't he? She felt a chill settle deep in her gut. She wanted to see him tomorrow. The him that she'd glimpsed tonight. That fragile Malfoy that had thoughts and feelings completely independent to his parent's sick ideology. She would see him again. She'd make sure of it. Maybe that's why Dumbledore had asked them to work together so she could help Malfoy. Had Dumbledore seen this Malfoy too?

The next day Hermione was completely distracted in all of her classes. She couldn't stop thinking about what had happened. Hurry up 7 was all she could think of. Harry and Ron had to keep clicking their fingers over her eyes as she drifted off as they spoke to her in the great hall over dinner.

"Hermione are you alright?" Asked Harry.

She nodded.

"Just struggling a bit with all these essays." She replied.

"No surprises there you're taking every subject! How are you doing it Hermione?" He asked through a mouthful of potato. Hermione wrinkled her nose. Maybe she'd been watching Malfoy eat too often because Ron's table manners suddenly seemed particularly awful.

Hermione shrugged. It was 7. She hadn't seen him all day. He hadn't been at breakfast or lunch. She bit her lip. Nerves jangled in her stomach.

"I have to go to the library. See you in the common room later." She said as she ran off.

Hermione and Ron watched her go.

"She's mental." Said Ron shaking his head.

Harry smiled and nodded.

"Even more than usual."

He really hoped Hermione's odd behaviour was only due to overworking but he couldn't shake the feeling there was more to it than that.

Malfoy had attended his classes in a haze and at dinner had taken a trip to Snape's office.

"I can't do this." He said running a hand through his hair.

Snape rolled his eyes and gestured Malfoy to take a seat.

"You lasted longer than I expected. 3 days. That's 3 more than I imagined."

Malfoy shook his head.

"Isn't there anything-"

"Draco, Dumbledore has made his intentions perfectly clear. I know the little know-it-all is hardly someone you want to be civil with but you have to try. It is just for one year."

Malfoy sighed. Even Snape was being logical about this situation. It unsettled him. Usually he agreed with his views over Dumbledore's.

"We have been civil. That's not the problem, I don't like the way she looks at me and talks to me." He said with a shameful blush.

Snape's black eyes narrowed as a frown creased his sallow brow.

"Draco teasing and rudeness is something you know how to deal with I can't help you with that-"

"She isn't being rude to me! That's not it. I can't explain. Never mind, you wouldn't understand."

Snape looked at him curiously as he placed pumpkin juice in front of him.

Draco sipped.

"She told me I didn't think for myself. That all my thoughts are my father's opinions but that somewhere inside me I'm keeping all my real thoughts and feelings locked away."

Snape couldn't hide the look of surprise that crossed his face. So they were already discussing non academic topics. Perhaps this task wouldn't be as impossible as it first seemed.

"And how did that make you feel?" He asked hesitantly.

"Angry. Just who does she think she is to talk to me like that? And—scared too. I've kept everything locked away for so long…once I unlock that I won't be able to shut the lid again."

Snape watched Draco carefully. He'd seen Draco be sensitive and vulnerable beneath all the sneering. It was his defence mechanism. He used his cruelty as armour. He knew all about that. What Draco was really afraid of was that Hermione Granger would burrow beneath that armour and hurt him. She would unlock that box within him and throw away the key laughing gleefully as she played with his tender, under developed emotions and insecurities.

"Draco. I know this isn't what you want to hear but I think talking to Miss Granger would help."

Malfoy's eyes widened.

"How would that help?! I just told you-"

"Draco she is a smart sensible girl she will understand. If she really has affected you so much I can pass this onto Dumbledore and-"

He shook his head paling suddenly. No one must ever know what he'd just said.

"No. Please don't tell anyone."

Severus nodded curtly and placed a supportive hand on his shoulder as he walked him out.

"I think you have somewhere to be." He said.

Malfoy nodded it was already after 8. She might have left already.

Snape went straight to Dumbledore's office despite his promise and told him of what Draco had told him. Dumbledore smiled and his eyes twinkled brighter than they had in a while.

"There is hope."

Hermione was beginning to pack her things away it was almost eight. He wasn't coming. She felt awful. She gasped as Malfoy entered the room. He gazed around the room. It was different than what Hermione would normally make to study in. The walls were deep green and Slytherin banners hung from the ceiling. There was one solitary desk and couch the rest of the space was taken up by bookshelves. Stacked to the ceiling with muggle books. It was a world away from anything he would imagine her choosing. It was dark without a hint of crimson or gold. The room was cool as there was no fire in it. He noticed that there was a black onyx fireplace but it hadn't been lit. Very odd.

"What the hell happened in here? Did Salazar Slytherin throw up all over the walls?" He asked.

Hermione felt herself relax and sigh with relief. Last night seemed to have been forgotten and they'd returned to their casually teasing banter.

"My head's been a bit all over the place today and the room got sort of confused I think."

"I like it. Were you thinking about me?" He asked teasingly.

His eyes widened when Hermione simply nodded.

"I was actually. I couldn't stop thinking about what you told me. I feel terrible. I shouldn't have said those things about you. And it wasn't my place to speak about your parents." She said stiffly.

Malfoy shook his head and smiled slightly. Such a Gryffindor. Go in all guns blazing. Feel instant regret. Too proud to apologise. But Hermione never let pride come before common decency and kindness. That was something he greatly envied and admired about her. He could never do that.

"Are you actually apologising to me Granger after everything I've said to you?" He asked incredulously.

Hermione blushed. Didn't he see she was apologising to this Malfoy not snivelling spoiled second year Malfoy?

"Oh shut up Malfoy. Don't make this anymore awkward than it already is."

"Don't be daft. Just forget about it. You'd make a really shit Slytherin by the way." He said with a genuine smile.

She smiled back and just like that last night was forgiven, but not forgotten. Never forgotten.

"Good. I hate green." She said wrinkling her nose as she looked around the room.

They set to work quietly in the hour they had left. They worked in silence. It was a little awkward but they felt it easing as the hour came to its end. This little venture was all about compromise after all. Snape and McGonagall would be so proud.

"Have you managed to open your book for Care of Magical Creatures tomorrow? Every time I try I nearly lose a finger." He asked as they both stood from the table as the clock chimed 9.

She grimaced and shook her head.

"Nope, me neither. I had to go to Madame Pomfrey yesterday with the nastiest papercut just from easing the clasp off a tiny bit."

Malfoy pondered deep in thought.

"Maybe we should try together. I've never tried that before?"

Hermione blushed and frowned.

Malfoy thought she'd never looked cuter. Cute? No Granger was NOT cute.

"I'll take one half you take the other." He suggested.

Hermione nodded.

They gripped onto the fuzzy fur of the book that was already snarling.

"Ok. 1,2,3."

Draco unlocked it and they both attempted to hold their half open. For a moment it looked like it had worked. But then the book growled and attempted to snap both their sets of fingers off. Hermione screamed and they both dropped the book with a heavy thud. It began to chomp towards them and they both jumped on the couch behind them. Hermione leapt into Malfoy's arms and he unthinkingly held her close. They were both breathing fast peering over the edge of the couch to see the angry paper teeth still chomping away. They glanced at one another and Hermione's face reddened. His face was close to hers and she could feel the slim wiry muscles of his chest and arms enveloping her. She smelled the faint scent of mint and spring meadows from his skin.

Malfoy swallowed thickly she was warm and soft in his arms. The ends of her rose scented hair tickled his forearms that were around her slim waist. She watched her blush spread beneath her freckles. Her eyes were so wide he felt he might drown in them.

As if both suddenly realising what they were doing they pushed each other away. and Malfoy rubbed his arms self consciously as if to rid himself of the feel of her.

"Uh. Get off. What were you doing?!" He asked his voice laced with disgust.

Hermione flushed deeper pink.

"What was I doing?! You were the one that came up with the great idea genius. Anyway you were the one clinging onto _me_ so don't start." She said indignantly.

Malfoy blushed but shook his head.

"As if Granger! _You_ practically jumped on top of me."

"Oh just shut up and start thinking of a way for us to get out of here." She said hotly.

"I need to think of a way? You're the smart brave one." He said looking at her.

"You're meant to be the cunning one."

They stared at one another stubbornly breathing hard.

"Right. I'm going to divert its attention and you jump on it."

Hermione nodded.

She watched as Malfoy vaulted over the back of the couch and instantly began to get chased by the book. The sight was absolutely hilarious and Hermione burst into an uncontrollable fit of giggles.

"Granger come on!" He shouted as he sprinted from the book chomping at his ankles.

"Sorry Malfoy but I –"

She wheezed and erupted into another fit of giggles before Malfoy finally leapt on the book himself wrestling it to the floor and binding it with a belt.

He gazed up at her from the floor. She was laughing and wiping her eyes. She had the most beautiful laugh he'd ever heard. It made the fact he was mad at her completely dissolve.

"Thanks for the help." He breathed sarcastically.

He rolled off the book and onto his back as he got his breath back.

He felt Hermione approach and she held her hand down to him.

Malfoy hesitated but grasped her fingers in his own as he hauled himself to his feet.

Their fingers slid from each other's quickly but not before a strange sensation had sparked from their fingertips. It felt odd. Almost like electricity. She glanced at him strangely and knew she'd felt it too. What the hell was that?

"Oh wait, look." Hermione said with a gleeful smile.

She bounded down one aisle and grabbed a book from the shelf.

She placed it in his hands.

"Nothing is off limits or locked away in here Malfoy." She said meaningfully.

He glanced after her as she left the room with a confused expression.

He smiled as he turned over the book in his hands. Peter Pan. Nothing was locked away here. No one would need to know. He felt his pulse quicken at the very idea of it. Granger was becoming an annoyingly refreshing little blip in his life.

AN: Sorry this was so long. Ended up being double the length I thought. Whoops. Also when I picked the song and Peter Pan reference totally forgot that the actor that plays Lucius Malfoy totally played Captain Hook haha! Until next time my loves.


	4. How can it feel this wrong?

**AN:** Thanks to anyone that followed/favourited or read this story. It really means a lot to me and thanks for you patience joining me on this long journey. Guys this will be a little AU as I'm going to show Malfoy as a more tortured conflicted person than the way JK depicted him which was pretty much as a bully until Half Blood Prince. So yeah sorry if he's too OOC for some people.

This chapter I'm listening to Portishead – Roads.

 **Chapter 4 – How can it feel this wrong?**

Hermione was finding it difficult to keep her eyes away from the white blonde head that was shrouded behind today's copy of the Daily Prophet over at the Slytherin table. Hermione chewed on her toast deep in contemplation as Harry and Ron's voices faded to the background. It was strange for Hermione to be leading a double life. Hermione had always been an honest person, sometimes even brutally so. She always had to do the right thing guided by her own moral compass. Was keeping the time turner and her meetings with Malfoy a secret from her two best friends really the best idea? But then Dumbledore had told her to tell no one. And Dumbledore knew best didn't he? As she thought of how Ron and Harry would react to her even breathing the same air as Malfoy she realised that in this instance perhaps secrets were safer, even if it did make her feel terrible.

Hermione was already struggling to come up with new excuses for leaving dinner early and not returning until later in the evening and it was only week one. What if Harry and Ron went to get her in the library and she wouldn't be there? What if they needed her? She would be stuck with Malfoy in the Room of Requirement and no one would know. Hermione felt awful for lying to them like this especially after Harry's fainting spell on the train over after the dementor incident. He needed her right now. She should be spending more time with him not Malfoy. Harry had already taken the brunt of a good teasing from Slytherin, mostly from Malfoy. She felt awful about meeting him behind Harry's back. She was feeling increasingly guilty with each passing day about spending time with the person responsible for most of the taunting. She didn't know how she'd manage to keep this up for a whole year. Ron was already asking too many questions about her impossible timetable on top of everything else.

Lying made her intestines feel like a ball of writhing snakes. Speaking of snakes; she scowled slightly as Malfoy casually flicked through the paper while drinking his pumpkin juice. He really was a snake. Sly, cunning and completely aloof. His complexity was annoying her. Things she couldn't understand irritated her. She wasn't used to feeling this way. There wasn't a thing they'd learned in school so far she couldn't grasp. But the more time she spent with Malfoy the less she seemed to understand. He wasn't like an ancient rune she could just translate. He was more complex than that. Hermione found herself wanting to be challenged by him despite her inner turmoil and loyalty to Harry.

Malfoy was so relaxed, so calm about all of this. Must come easy to him all the lies and sneaking around. Typical Slytherin. It just came naturally to them she supposed. Well not for her. She'd never done anything like this before and in her heart she knew it was wrong. It was Malfoy. And her. They weren't supposed to be getting along like they were. They were supposed to hate each other like how they did during class. But the Malfoy who was with her every night wasn't the same Malfoy that taunted Harry in class. Malfoy was difficult to read she'd met so many different versions of him already that she couldn't keep up. She trusted Dumbledore completely but not over this. Malfoy simply was someone she could never trust. How could she possibly? He was honestly the most confounding person she'd ever met.

Her thoughts faltered slightly. Maybe she was being too harsh on him. She'd witnessed herself that Malfoy was capable of telling her very true and very personal things. He was capable of being vulnerable, sensitive and even kind in his own way. Maybe he was just better at hiding these kind of conflicting emotions that was all. And she knew he wasn't to blame for his more undesirable qualities with an upbringing like he'd had what hope did he have. It was all just part of a defence mechanism. There must be a lot of pressure on him being a pure blood from a dark wizarding family. A pressure she would never or could never understand and she was grateful for that. She internally kicked herself for actually thinking something nice about Malfoy. What the hell was happening here?

Malfoy's cold grey eyes flicked over the newsprint and locked with Hermione's wide brown eyes. He was looking right at her in front of everyone. And she was staring right back. Her heart gave an odd thump which she'd never felt before. Her cheeks flushed and her mouth felt suddenly dry but she didn't look away. Was he crazy?! They couldn't look at each other like this in front of everyone then people would start asking questions. First Ron and Harry, then Malfoy's 'friends' and then his…family. She shuddered at the thought. She took a sip of her pumpkin juice but didn't break eye contact.

"Mione?"

Hermione let Malfoy drift out of focus as she focused on Ron's concerned expression. She cursed herself for letting him win the staring contest.

"Sorry?" She asked.

Ron shook his head at her.

"Hermione are you all right? You've been more spaced out than Trelawney lately." He said with a cheeky grin and a shake of his red head.

Hermione smiled weakly.

"Yeah just a bit overwhelmed with everything. Have you two managed to open your Care of Magical Creatures book open yet?" She asked trying to steer the conversation away from the fact that she desperately wanted to let her eyes drift back to the Slytherin table where she could hear him laughing with Goyle.

Ron and Harry shook their heads and there was no chance for further discussion as the bell rang at that moment. Hermione, Harry and Ron jogged down the sloping green eager to see Hagrid teach his first lesson. Hermione crossed her fingers discreetly hoping Hagrid would do well. She smiled as she noticed Harry doing the same. Her smile faltered as she locked eyes with him again. Her heart did that strange double thump thing again. Maybe she should go to Madame Pomfrey about it? Why did they have to share this class of all classes with Slytherin? She felt herself tense as she watched Malfoy smirk cruelly at Hagrid's little hut with that pompous sneer of his. This Malfoy was her least favourite of all. Cold, cruel, vindictive and intent on causing chaos for no apparent reason. Why couldn't he be like how he was with her? Hermione sighed. Because the way he was with her was a lie. Yet another lie. Her insides writhed. She hated this.

The Slytherins and Gryffindors all crowded around the paddock but kept their distance as they saw the creatures that stood before them coming into clear view. Talons, hooves and feathers all in one beautiful, but deadly package, Hippogriffs. Hermione gulped. Hagrid wasn't playing it safe. She chanced a glance at Harry and Ron and they had similar pale expressions. Malfoy's sneer seemed to deepen further.

Malfoy and his little gang approached the Gryffindor's as they pulled their cloak hoods up and wiggled their fingers in a pitiful impersonation of dementors. They were making ridiculous ghoulish noises. She felt Harry tense beside her and she gripped his forearm firmly before he could fly at them. The last thing they needed was for Hagrid to break up a fight on his first lesson.

"Don't. Just ignore them Harry. Think of Hagrid." She whispered.

Malfoy drew his hood back. His blonde hair was slightly messy from the hood and his eyes narrowed on Hermione and her hand on Harry's wrist.

"I'd listen to your girlfriend if I were you." He said with a cool sneer.

She felt Harry tense again but before he could do or say anything Hermione had already swept over to him. She faced Malfoy her eyes blazing with anger. She was sick and tired of this arrogant version of Malfoy. He was over a head taller than her now but she tried to draw herself up to his level.

"Piss off Malfoy. Can't you come up with anything better than this Dementor stuff? It's getting boring."

Hermione flushed slightly. Had she really said that out loud? She had no idea what had possessed her to voice her feelings so bluntly like that. But judging from the widening of Malfoy's eyes. The hate filled glare Pansy Parkinson was giving her and the snickering behind her she knew was Ron she knew she had said it out loud.

Malfoy opened his mouth as if to retort but he thought better of it. He was livid and pale even to the lips. The Slytherins were all looking at him expectantly.

"Watch it Granger. If the Dementors decide to attack you'll need to protect your precious Potter here because he'll be too busy lying on the floor pissing his trousers."

The Slytherins laughed and the Gryffindors made a variety of angry exclamations.

Hermione's eyes widened at his cruel words. She should have just left it at that and walked away but she couldn't help it. She couldn't help this sudden feeling of empowerment that was rolling over her. Maybe it was because she felt guilty about spending less time with Harry and more with the boy who was currently staring her down that filled her with the need to defend her friend like this. But she just knew she didn't want to stay quiet anymore.

"It must be nice to be the only person immune to a Dementor's kiss Malfoy, seeing as you don't possess a soul worth taking."

Malfoy tensed and she heard both the Slytherins and the Gryffindor's gasp. What the hell was she doing?! She regretted the words the instant they'd left her mouth. She'd let her mouth run away and this time she knew she'd really hurt him. It always seemed to happen with him. She felt her stomach roll queasily as she saw the momentary flicker of emotions in his sad grey eyes. Their faces were close together and both of them were flushed with anger. Hermione swallowed. What now?

Hagrid thankfully came out of his hut at that moment and started the lesson. She sighed with relief as they turned away from one another and back to their respective sides. Opposite sides. They would always be on opposite sides and that was the way of it. She was being ridiculous to even have thought they could work together. Harry and Ron were both giving her varied expressions of shock and awe, which were mirrored by all of her housemates. She felt sick. She kept trying to catch his eye but he wasn't looking at her. Pansy Parkinson was though and if looks could kill Hermione would no longer be breathing.

The sun dappled through the trees highlighting the beautiful buff, grey, blue tones of the Hippogriff's feathers. Once the class had been instructed on how to open their books (She felt a bit annoyed she hadn't thought of stroking the spine) Hagrid asked Harry to come to the front of the class and help with a demonstration. Her heart was racing after the stress of her little confrontation with Malfoy she couldn't take much more. Malfoy was purposefully avoiding her eyes and she noticed that he looked pale and angry but above all something resembling hurt. Her stomach rolled again. Hippogriffs were very proud creatures but Harry handled the situation in his usual tactful way and he and Buckbeak became fast friends.

She sighed with relief the lesson was going well. Well for Hagrid anyway, she just wanted the ground to swallow her up. Hermione was spared of any further thoughts of regret towards Malfoy because at that very moment Malfoy was charging towards Buckbeak. What. An. Idiot. Her memory flashed back to their first flying lesson when he'd stolen Neville's remembrall. Why did he always do idiotic things like this? Was it to impress Slytherin? His father? Well she wouldn't let him ruin this. Not for Hagrid. The class had begun to mutter and Hagrid who was speaking to Harry was oblivious to what was about to happen. She ran after Malfoy ignoring the grasp of Ron's fingers on her arm and his shouts of protest.

"You're not dangerous at all are you? You great ugly brute!" Shouted Malfoy.

Hermione gasped. He hadn't bowed and had seriously offended the very proud Hippogriff. What the hell was he doing?! How could someone so smart be so stupid?! Was he really doing this just to make Hagrid look bad? She knew he and the Slytherins had no love for him but this was really low.

"You idiot! Now you've done it!" Shouted Hermione as she desperately grasped for the back of Malfoy's robes pulling him backwards.

A small part of her that she wouldn't fully acknowledge was also scared in case he got hurt.

Buckbeak reared up on his hind legs and Hermione's heart raced. She was going to be killed because of Malfoy's idiocy. Just great.

"What the hell are you doing Granger?! Get out of the way!" He shouted urgently shoving her off of him.

"What am _I_ doing? You're the one that-umph"

Hermione didn't get to finish her sentence because she'd been knocked to the grassy ground by Malfoy. She watched paralysed in horror as Malfoy stood in front of her his arms raised in front of his face defensively. Time seemed to slow as Buckbeak's hooves came crashing down on his exposed arm. His wings were beating threateningly and Hermione had to close her eyes as warm air and grit flew into her face. She heard Malfoy groan and wince in pain.

Meanwhile Hagrid had been trying to calm Buckbeak and regain control of the lesson, which he was doing very honourably despite current circumstances she thought. She heard Pansy Parkinson scream. Hermione lay completely bewildered on the ground. Well this day was just going from bad to worse. Malfoy turned to look at her with the oddest expression on his face. She hauled herself to her feet ignoring the light ache at her hip from where she'd landed badly. He'd knocked her to the ground to stop her getting hurt. Why would he do that? If anything she'd thought he'd use her as an expendable mudblood shield. She looked at him a confused frown on her brow and her eyes searching for answers he couldn't or wouldn't give her. She glanced at the arm he was clutching in his other hand. His shirt was ripped and quickly becoming saturated in his blood. She gulped. She watched his blood drop from the cuff onto the grass. Deep scarlet, pure blood. He'd spilled his blood…to spare her own. Why would he do that?

She instinctively reached out and grasped his wrist gently she put her hands over the deep gash attempting to stem the flow. His pale unblemished skin looked like marble beneath her lightly freckled hands. She felt his warm blood coat her palms and his eyes were on her fingers. They stood in awkward silence. Malfoy winced in pain but wouldn't look at her. She felt a guilty lump form in her throat. Would someone with no soul have just done what he did? No. She swallowed her tears down into her churning stomach. They wouldn't have.

"You alrigh' Hermione?" Asked a breathless, concerned Hagrid.

He looked even more bushy haired and dishevelled than usual after his wrestle with Buckbeak, who was now looking rather indignant at being tethered for what he classed as no good reason at all.

Hermione nodded unable to speak.

"Fine. He's been hurt Hagrid. He needs to be taken to the hospital wing." She said softly her eyes flickering to Malfoy's.

But he looked away from her quickly. She felt even worse than she had this morning.

Hagrid's black eyes widened at the blood on Malfoy's sleeve and Hermione's hand on his arm. Hermione left his side quickly with an embarrassed flush on her cheeks. Hagrid shook his head and grumbled beneath his breath but he dutifully led Malfoy to the hospital wing. Malfoy assured Hagrid he was capable of walking which surprised Hermione. Malfoy was usually quite cowardly when it came to injuries. She'd seen him rolling around crying like a baby after a few quidditch injuries before. But his grey eyes were completely free from tears as Hagrid guided him across the grounds a large hand spread across his shoulder.

Hermione sighed and as she turned to the rest of her class she found all eyes on her. She flushed from the attention and returned to Harry and Ron's side with her head held high. She ignored the whispers of the Slytherins.

They both looked at her as if really seeing her for the first time.

"What?" She replied shortly.

She had a headache. She felt sick. She was tired of the lies but most of all she couldn't get Malfoy's sad grey eyes out of her mind. She glanced at his blood that was drying to a rusty brown on her palms. She had never felt as awful as she did right now.

Harry and Ron shook their heads profusely but gave each other pointed looks as the bell thankfully rang. The Slytherin's drifted back up to the castle and the Gryffindor's moved to join the Hufflepuffs at Herbology. Hermione's head was all over the place and she could tell Harry and Ron had questions for her but that now wasn't the time to ask them.

Hermione hesitantly glanced over at the Slytherin table noticing all of the glares directed towards her and one noticeably absent Malfoy.

She bit her lip and looked at Harry and Ron.

"Do you think he'll be alright?"

Ron shrugged his mouth full of bread.

"Why wouldn't he be? Hagrid can't be blamed for stupid Malfoy. He warned us not to approach without bowing. He can't get in trouble for that twat."

Hermione blushed. She hadn't been talking about Hagrid.

"You didn't mean Hagrid did you?" Asked Harry coolly.

Hermione opened her mouth to retort but what would be the point of telling yet another lie?

"Course she did who else—you didn't mean Malfoy, did you?" Asked a shocked and offended Ron.

Hermione stayed silent but Ron sighed exasperatedly.

"You're kidding 'mione! Come on he deserved that. After everything he said to you and all this dementor stuff with Harry. You said yourself this morning to him. What's going on with you Hermione?" Asked Ron concernedly.

She sighed. She wanted to blurt everything out to them but she couldn't so she only told them what she could.

"His father will find a way to use this against Hagrid. I'm just worried that's all." She said massaging her temples.

"He pushed you out of the way, Malfoy." Said Harry matter of factly.

Hermione flushed and her brown eyes flickered guiltily from Harry's intense green gaze.

"Well yeah otherwise Buckbeak would have got her too." Said Ron automatically.

"But it's Malfoy." Said Harry meaningfully.

Ron frowned and looked pointedly at Hermione.

"Oh yeah…"

"I don't know why he did that. I was pretty cruel to him before that happened. I feel awful."

Ron dropped his fork with a clatter.

"Are you mental? None of what happened was your fault. He deserved it after all the cruel things he's said to you. He isn't worth feeling guilty over. " Said Ron comfortingly.

Hermione nodded feeling a little more reassured. Ron was right. She didn't know why she felt so terrible.

"He hasn't been cruel to Hermione for a while." Said Harry watching her closely.

Hermione swallowed thickly. Harry was too observant at times. So he'd noticed that he didn't tease her anymore either. Not since the 'mudblood' incident. This wasn't good.

"Yeah he is. Today when Hermione went mental at him he-"

"Was being mean to me and Hermione defended me. He didn't say anything about Hermione."

Hermione felt her intestines writhe in her gut. She pushed her plate away untouched.

"I'm not hungry. I'll see you in potions." She whispered as she walked away from Ron's confused and Harry's intense stare. Somehow their stares made her feel worse than the whole table of Slytherin combined.

Malfoy winced as Madame Pomfrey healed the deep wound on his arm. She shook her head disapprovingly.

"Honestly, a Hippogriff?! What next a Dragon?!" She exclaimed tersely with a shake of her neat grey curls in her white starched hat.

The wound was deep and although fully healed externally Madame Pomfrey insisted he keep a sling on it for at least a week until it was fully healed internally. He protested but she said if he didn't it wouldn't be healed properly for his upcoming quidditch match. His stomach filled with nervous butterflies at the thought. She urged him to stay and rest at least until afternoon lessons. He sighed but agreed hoping to lie back on his fluffy pillow and rest. But sleep wouldn't come his mind was overrun with thoughts most of them centred, rather worringly, on Hermione. Suddenly her rosy lips formed into a thin smirk that he had never seen her have before. She didn't suit a smirk.

"You don't have a soul Draco Malfoy." She whispered cruelly.

She laughed but it wasn't Hermione's laugh. It was high, cold and mean. She leant forward to press her lips to his in a bruising cruel kiss. But her lips never touched his. Her beautiful face melted away to reveal the dark shadows of a Dementor's hood. Suddenly he couldn't breathe and his entire body was covered in cold chills. The dementor pulled away and shook its head silently. It drew back its hood to reveal the terrible dream Hermione once more.

"Nothing at all in there. How does it feel Malfoy to have no soul?" She asked with a devilish smirk.

"Malfoy, Malfoy…"

She kept saying his name but this voice was different it sounded far away and like the real Hermione's. He felt warm once more and smelled the unmistakable scent of her rose shampoo and lavender soap.

He opened his eyes to find a very concerned Hermione leaning over him. Both of her hands were gripping onto his uninjured forearm. Her fingers were very warm and soft.

He frowned slightly. He was in hospital. He flushed as the memories of this morning came back to him and the awful nightmare began to fade.

Hermione blushed and stood back from him.

"Sorry it's just it looked like you were, having a nightmare." She whispered.

Malfoy sat up glancing at the table of cards and honeyduke's chocolates that his friends had brought him. Why was she here and not them? She looked so guilty in that moment that he almost pitied her.

"Looks like I still am." He replied coldly.

Hermione sighed.

"I'm not here to fight." She replied in an exhausted tone.

"Oh? Seemed that way this morning Granger."

"Malfoy – I'm sorry alright. You just…irritate me sometimes. There was no need to act like that to Harry." She said honestly.

"Why did you say it?" He asked softly.

Hermione blushed as the sick feeling returned. She felt truly terrible.

"Why did you push me out of the way?" She countered.

Malfoy hesitated and flicked his eyes away shyly.

Hermione sighed realising she would have to be the first to speak. They were both stubborn but Draco was also sullen which made for a particularly bad combination.

"I just wanted to say something mean like the things you say to Harry. I thought I was being brave by standing up to you but it was a really cowardly thing to do and I honestly feel awful. "She said dropping her eyes to the floor guiltily.

"Why do you care so much? It's only me. I say worse things than that all the time. Forget it." He replied gently.

Hermione's eyes met his.

"Because I just do I can't help it. I feel awful. Is this how it feels when you say mean things to people? If it feels like this I don't want to feel this way ever again." She replied with a firm shake of her head as her eyes became wet with unshed tears.

"I…wouldn't know. I've been doing it for so long." He said softly.

Hermione gazed at him gently. He looked so fragile in that moment that she refused to believe it.

"That's not true. You can pretend and lie all you want but I know deep down behind all those mean words that you can feel and get hurt just like everyone else. I know I hurt you earlier by saying that and I really am sorry. I didn't mean it." She said quietly.

Malfoy blushed awkwardly. He hadn't meant to let her see how much her words had hurt him but it was hard to hide things from Hermione. Her eyes stripped through his lies to his black, soulless core.

"I told you it's fine. " He said defensively.

Hermione swallowed as she felt tears sting her eyes.

"No it isn't. Is this how you felt last year when you called me a mudblood? Is that why you don't say mean things to me anymore?" She asked gently.

She watched him intently. He'd paled considerably and his long, pale fingers were picking at the cotton threads on the bedsheet.

"Don't say that word." He said firmly.

Hermione frowned.

"But you-"

"I know. I know. Just don't, alright Granger." He said.

She nodded at a loss of what to say. He was serious.

"Look we're even alright? We both said things we shouldn't have. It's done. Just forget it."

Hermione nodded once more. It was more of an apology that she thought she'd get. She hadn't expected that at all from him. Malfoy was so different when he was like this. She wondered if anyone else knew this Malfoy or perhaps this was just her Malfoy. She blushed at the thought. It was best to move on she didn't want to make this more awkward than what it already was.

"So how are you feeling?" She asked awkwardly.

"Like I've just been trampled by a Hippogriff." He said sarcastically.

Hermione laughed. She couldn't help it. She suddenly felt the tension that had been over her all day lifting slightly.

Malfoy was funny. In a very dry, sarcastic way, that was honestly very similar to her own sense of humour, it had surprised her greatly.

Malfoy smiled at her laugh. It made him feel warm. He still felt a little out of sorts from that nightmare but being in her presence was making him feel better by the second. How strange that she should have that effect on him.

"Don't be. I suppose I did sort of deserve it. I did dishonour Hagrid's stupid big chicken." He said teasingly.

Hermione erupted into another fit of giggles. Malfoy smiled. He could really get used to that sound. Even if he did have to be the butt of the joke. He found he didn't mind being laughed at when it was Hermione. She would never laugh at anyone to be cruel or conceited Hermione was completely free of any undesirable attributes like that. It was a refreshing change to spend time with someone as inherently good as her.

"Don't say that. What possessed you to charge towards a hippogriff anyway?" She asked sobering slightly.

"You made me mad." He answered simply.

Hermione's eyes widened.

"I thought you did it because you wanted to ruin Hagrid's lesson." She replied incredulously.

Malfoy shook his head.

Hermione froze. Lost for words. In that moment he was being so candid with her. So vulnerable. This was her Malfoy. She wished he could always be this way.

"I didn't think the opinion of someone so below you would matter." She said haughtily.

Malfoy shook his head.

"This has nothing to do with blood status or whatever."

Hermione's eyes widened at his words. She was shocked. When was anything not about blood status for the Malfoys?

"Then what?" She asked gently.

Malfoy blushed beneath her gentle gaze.

"You're a very honest person Granger. Someone like you can see me for what I really am. I'm just not used to that." He replied calmly.

Hermione sat on the edge of his bed as she felt her entire body deflate. She had no idea what to say to him. His honest words had completely caught her off guard.

"I honestly don't know who you are. Is this really you? Or is the real you who you are in front of everyone else?" She asked gazing inquisitively at him.

"It's all an act isn't it? Even someone like you acts. You act this way when we're together, alone. But if Potter or Weasley were here you wouldn't be speaking with me."

Hermione flushed and made to retort but she didn't know what to say. Was Malfoy right?

"I don't completely change who I am Malfoy. See unlike you I don't care what people think." She said with a shake of her head.

Malfoy snorted in disbelief.

"Of Course you do. You care when people tease you. You care what your friends think of you. You care when you don't get top marks in class, if that ever happened. You care what people think just the same as everyone else does."

Hermione narrowed her eyes at him and made an indignant sound. Malfoy chuckled.

"You know I'm right."

"Alright maybe I do mind what people I care about think. But that's different. I would never act like a complete arse in front of all my friends so they'll like me. I speak my mind and defend my friends that's all. I would never be cruel to anyone just for the sake of it. I would never do that." She said defiantly.

"And you think that's why I say mean things? Just for the sake of it?" He said defensively.

Hermione shrugged.

"Why else would you say cruel things to people?"

Malfoy shrank back slightly from her unwavering gaze. It was a demand not a question.

"Because I hate myself."

Hermione swallowed thickly as she stared at him in disbelief. Of all the answers she'd expected that wasn't one of them.

Hermione didn't say anything else. Her gaze softened and she turned to face him fully.

"Why do you hate yourself?" She asked quietly.

Malfoy gave her a sad smile.

"I think you can answer this one for me. Go on." He said.

Hermione sighed. His eyes were sad again. This vulnerable Malfoy did strange things to her.

"I can't, only you can answer that. You can tell me. I'm good at keeping secrets." She said with a small smile.

Malfoy shook his head with a tight smile.

Hermione nodded. She knew he didn't want to talk about it but she understood that he would when he was ready.

"If it means anything, I don't hate you." She said honestly.

Malfoy's eyes locked on hers. They were swirling with tentative uncertainty. Hermione blushed at her admission.

"Why?" He asked.

Hermione shrugged.

"I'll tell you why I don't hate you when you tell me why you hate yourself."

Malfoy rolled his eyes but smirked.

"Fine. Point taken. Want some?" He asked as he leant over his bedside table and opened up the pack of his favourite Honeyduke's chocolates.

Hermione's eyes widened but she nodded slowly. She felt rather hungry now that her nerves had calmed enough to eat. He made her feel so strange. Calm and jittery all at once ands a million other things she couldn't ever begin to understand.

She took a piece of his chocolate with a shy thankyou. They sat in silence letting the chocolate melt and fill their mouths with wonderful bittersweet richness. He caught her eye and they smiled at one another tentatively.

Hermione was feeling much better. Everything was back to being normal and nice. Well new normal she was still getting used to this Malfoy and being with him when he was like this. But she had to admit she was rather enjoying his company.

"What are you doing here anyway don't you have lunch with Potty and Weasel?" He asked.

Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Don't call them that. I wasn't hungry I was too worried about Hagrid and you know…you so I left." She admitted shyly.

Malfoy smiled as a happy warm feeling bloomed in his chest at her words.

"Worried about me? Don't tell me you're actually starting to care?" He asked teasingly.

Hermione's blush deepened and she rolled her eyes.

"Oh shut up. Everyone was worried about you. Especially Pansy. She was glaring at me at lunch even more than usual. I reckon she wishes it was me that got my arm busted by Hagrid's chicken and not her precious little Drakeykins." She replied teasingly.

Malfoy laughed but flushed and shook his head.

"Don't even start me on that girl. She's just jealous." He replied with a shrug as he offered her a sugar quill which she accepted and nibbled on as she contemplated over what he could mean by that.

"I can literally hear the wheels in that magnificent brain of yours turning." He said with a raised brow.

Hermione flushed at his compliment. It felt strange sitting here on Draco's hospital bed sharing sweets. It was almost as if they were friends, were they?

"Why would she be jealous?" Asked Hermione.

"Because she's nothing like you." He answered matter of factly.

Hermione frowned as she nibbled on the quill.

"Isn't that a good thing?" She asked.

Malfoy watched as the sugar quill rested between her white teeth and her rosy lips. He swallowed slowly finding the sight quite captivating. He felt his pulse quicken as he gazed at her.

"Put it this way, I wouldn't have stood between her and Buckbeak."

The quill faltered slightly from her lip as she gave him a shocked look.

Hermione had this strange effect on him where he was compelled to tell the truth. And he didn't regret being so open with her. It felt good to have someone to talk to. Someone he could trust. It was almost like he had an actual…friend.

"I thought you two were going out?" She asked.

Malfoy shook his head.

"Our parents keep trying to force us together but it's not happening. Pansy wants it to happen but it won't. Not if I have anything to say about it."

Hermione almost choked on her sugar quill. She looked at him completely astounded. Did purebloods have arranged marriages still? He looked at her with so much conviction that she knew he truly meant what he was saying.

"Parents? So like an arranged marriage? Isn't that sort of weird?"

Malfoy shook his head.

"It's normal for pureblood families to arrange matches. Keeps-"

"The blood pure." She replied paling slightly.

Malfoy nodded stiffly.

"Doesn't that bother you that they've mapped out your life like that? Don't you want to take control of your own life?" She asked her eyes shining.

"Of course it does. I'll do a lot of things to make my parents happy and proud but I won't marry Pansy. She looks prettier on the outside than she is on the inside and that's saying something." He said with a smile.

Hermione's mouth opened in shock.

"So you'll go along with any crazy pureblood tradition but you won't marry Pansy because you don't like the look of her. How very progressive and stoic of you." She said shaking her head in disbelief.

"Always thinking the worst of me Granger. The real reason I won't marry her is because I don't love her. If I marry I want it to be in the right way and for the right reason. Simple." He said as he broke off another square of chocolate.

Hermione suddenly felt very warm. He was being so unashamed and honest about all of this. It was almost sweet to know that someone like Malfoy valued something like love and marriage. He'd surprised her again.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" He asked slightly self consciously.

"I just didn't think you'd think about things like that that's all. Were your parents matched?" She asked.

"Didn't think I'd care about things like real love you mean. No they didn't need to be. They met here and fell in love. Perfect match really. Both completely crazy about money and blood purity."

Hermione bit her lip. She was ashamed to admit she had thought that. But Malfoy was surprising her more and more each day. She shuddered at the disdain in his voice when he spoke about his parents. She'd been wrong about him again. Maybe he was so protective about his parents because he feared them in some way.

"What if you fell in love with someone poor, someone not pure or maybe both?" She asked.

Malfoy stiffened slightly.

"That couldn't happen." He replied.

Hermione rolled her eyes.

"How can you find real love if you have such a narrow view of it?" She asked.

"You don't understand-"

"Then help me to." She said gently.

Malfoy sighed as he became trapped in her intense inquisitive gaze. Hermione didn't give up. He knew that already. Why did she want to know this stuff about him?

"You don't know what it's like to live with the pressure and the expectation all the time. My mum has a sister. I have an Aunt I've never met because she fell in love with a muggle. They cut people out that don't live their lives the way they think is right. They forget they ever existed and lock them away like those muggle books. You're lucky you know, being a muggle-born, you can love whoever you want. "

Hermione felt her breath catch. He was right she had no idea about that kind of pressure he was living with. That was awful. He was an only child. If he fell in love with someone undesirable he would have nothing. He had everything to lose. She couldn't believe he'd say something so…liberal about muggle-borns. He almost sounded envious. She knew in that moment that he didn't buy into all the pureblood bull shit like his parents did, not really, but what was the alternative?

Hermione shook her head.

"I'm sorry I didn't know. Things change over time. By the time you can marry they might not care who you marry as long as you're happy. I can't fall in love with a pureblood." She said with a shy blush.

"That won't happen." He said with a warm smile.

Hermione frowned. How did he know that? Dumbledore was already doing so much to integrate muggle borns into the magical world. The laws and people's own narrow minded ideas would change eventually.

"You're way too smart to fall in love with someone like me." He said teasingly.

Hermione's mouth went completely dry. Her face felt like it was ablaze and she wanted nothing more than to look away from those bewitching grey eyes of his. But she couldn't. She was saved from more torturously awkward staring by the bell ringing.

"Potions." She blurted out as she sprung from his bed.

He smiled at her flustered expression. He liked when she got all flushed. It made her rather bewitching freckles stand out.

He nodded.

"I'm coming too. I feel fine." He said as he rose from the bed.

"Are you sure you're alright?" She said gesturing at his sling.

"Never better. You think if I asked Snape to get Weasley to cut up my daisy roots for me he would?"

Hermione laughed then clamped her hand over her mouth. She shouldn't have laughed at that.

"Don't be mean to Ron. Of course he would you're his favourite." She said teasingly.

"Alright Granger don't get all sore because I beat you at potions sometimes. Snape has nothing to do with it. It's pure talent and you know it." He said smugly.

"I don't think you'll ever have to worry about marrying for love Malfoy. You're already completely in love with yourself." She said shaking her head at him.

Malfoy laughed and watched her walk ahead of him with a smile on his face. He watched the defiant swing of her narrow hips and that bushy ponytail.

"Granger!"

She turned to him slowly.

"See you tonight."

Hermione blushed and nodded.

She smiled feeling much lighter and happier than she had in a while. Even double potions couldn't bring down her mood. Everything would be ok. This whole double life secrecy thing might not be so bad after all.

Snape's particularly foul mood could do nothing to dull her newly invigorated positive attitude. She smiled discreetly over her bubbling cauldron as she caught Malfoy's eyes. Ron muttered darkly as he began to butcher Malfoy's daisy roots. She bit her lip to stop herself from laughing and she watched as Malfoy's lip twitched.

AN: Next chappie we have the quidditch match Gryffindor V Slytherin. That's right guys I'm going full AU on you all!


	5. We're gonna be friends

AN: This chapter I'm listening to The White Stripes – We're Going To Be Friends.

 **Chapter 5 – I can tell that we're gonna be friends.**

It had been a week since the hippogriff incident and the Slytherins still hadn't let her forget about it. Hermione was usually good at ignoring things like spiteful comments. But this was constant. She suddenly had renewed sympathy for Harry and all the whispering he must hear about himself. At least she'd deflected some of the attention from him, a small mercy. Everyone seemed to have an opinion on what had happened, no accounts she had heard so far were remotely true. And why was she experiencing all of this hatred? Well because of a stupid quidditch game and the fact their star seeker had missed a practice a month before the first game of the year. Was quidditch really that important to some people? The answer was yes but she just didn't get it and probably never would.

She glanced at Malfoy sourly as he touched up his potions essay across from her at their desk in the room of requirement. He hadn't done anything to stop his 'friends' tormenting her but then why should he?

Malfoy caught her eyes suddenly and beneath her intense gaze he blurted out something that had been plaguing his mind all day since his father had owled him at breakfast.

"My father thinks I should forfeit the game." He said.

Hermione watched him closely her mouth open.

"You aren't serious are you? That's not fair." She said.

"What's not fair about it?" He said with a shrug.

Hermione shook her head.

"It's not fair on anyone, especially you. You want to play don't you?"

Malfoy's eyes met hers sharply. She always seemed to see things from his point of view. No one else did that and it scared him. Malfoy nodded.

"Then play. You've only missed one practice your arm is fine now. I'm sure due to the circumstances Flint can organise extra pitch practices for your team. This is your game not your fathers and there's no sane reason why you can't play next month. Is he asking you to forfeit so you don't lose?"

Malfoy's eyes had widened hopefully at her words but then narrowed. Even she didn't think he could win.

"You think I'll lose? Oh the great and wonderful Potter youngest seeker in a century. How could I possibly ever win against him?" He said in a mocking tone.

Hermione saw that behind the sarcasm there was a deep bitterness in his words. He did care. He was threatened by Harry. He didn't think he was good enough. And obviously his father didn't think he was good enough either. Hermione suddenly felt great pity for Malfoy and she softened.

"I didn't mean it like that. I just meant don't you want to beat Harry fair and square for once? You know without any cheating or foul play? Because it sort of sounds like that's what your father is trying to make you do."

Malfoy's eyes widened. Her words surprised him. Why would she want him to beat her best friend?

Malfoy nodded slowly.

"Can't lose if I don't play." He said stiffly.

Hermione sighed. Malfoy's father must have drummed all of this nonsense into his head. When she'd first met Malfoy she'd thought him extremely arrogant and self important. But now she knew that was a carefully crafted mask to hide his crumbling self doubt and insecurities.

"You can't win either. This is stupid! There's no reason why you couldn't beat Harry. Play the game your way and win your way."

Malfoy rolled his eyes. It wasn't that easy. Harry was a better player than him. That was the plain truth of it. But as she looked at him he had the feeling that she really believed what she was saying. She really thought he could do it? He felt warmth bloom across his chest.

"If I do that I'll definitely lose." He said.

Hermione nodded.

"Maybe. But you might win. How do you know if you never try?" She said.

Malfoy brushed the hair back from his forehead. His head was a confused mess. She always made him feel that way. She was making him question everything. He didn't truly want to forfeit he wanted to play. His arm felt fine. Playing quidditch and flying on that broom was one of the only places, aside from here with Granger that he could really be himself. He wanted to play, but could he really defy his father?

"Why do you care so much? And shouldn't you want me to forfeit so your precious Potter gets a nice easy win over Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw?" He asked sharply.

Hermione flushed but shrugged.

"Because I just do. Oh for goodness sake this isn't about Harry or some stupid house rivalry! This is all about you. What do you want to do?"

Malfoy's eyes widened at her words. She made him feel oddly exposed once more. Those deep brown eyes were stripping everything away. Honestly he had no idea what he wanted. He'd never been asked. He'd always been told what to do. Malfoys never do this, Malfoys must do that, it was never ending.

"I don't know." He muttered lamely.

"Well I think you want to play. And I also think that deep down you want to do the right thing for once. There's goodness in you Malfoy, I've seen it, so go on make a choice for once in your life. Not your father's choice. Your choice."

Hermione went pink as he simply stared at her. She really shouldn't have said that. But it was the truth the more time she spent with him the more she realised there was goodness in him.

"You better not let Weasley or Potter know you think that." He said with a raised brow and a small smile.

"Think what?" She asked nervously.

"Think that I have goodness in me. The pair of them will have you carted off to St Mungo's to check you haven't gone insane."

Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Whatever. Why wouldn't I tell them?" She asked firmly. But in her heart she knew his bitter words were closer to the truth of their reactions. They didn't know him like she did, if she even did know him. They would never understand and she could never tell them.

Malfoy laughed cruelly.

"Because they wouldn't understand. The people we are here…we can't be like that out there. You of all people know that Granger."

Hermione nodded.

"I wish it didn't have to be that way." She said with a sigh.

"But it does." He said with a sad shrug.

They had nothing left to say to one another. His last statement had sobered them. Things were the way they were they couldn't change them no matter how much they wanted to.

They both returned to their work quietly both deep in thought. Things were becoming complicated.

A little while later Malfoy smirked slightly as he watched Hermione carefully analysing the tea leaves in her white china cup from over his textbook.

"Why don't you just drop the class and tell old Trelawney she can shove her crystal ball where the sun doesn't shine."

Hermione erupted into a fit of giggles and Malfoy smiled. Watching her laugh was one of his favourite things to do now. It made him feel different when he heard it. Lighter, happier almost. For just a few moments it made him forget exactly who he was. He was just someone that Granger happened to find amusing that was all. Nothing more, nothing less. It cleared the odd heavy atmosphere from before.

"I can't. I took it on and I intend-"

"To see it through to the end because you don't ever give up on anything. Why do all you Gryffindor's have to be so self righteous all the time? Especially about something as ridiculously pointless as Divination. What were you thinking? It's a load of old rubbish all this hocus pocus prophecy, crystal ball nonsense. I can't imagine why you ever thought you'd like it."

Hermione frowned.

"What do you mean?"

"Well I mean it's the furthest from any subject people like us would remotely enjoy."

He felt his face heat slightly at the fact he'd just referred to himself and Granger as an 'us'.

From the raising of her brows and the parting of her lips she'd noticed the little slip. He quickly carried on despite the thumping of his heart.

"People that revel in factual knowledge I mean. With divination there aren't any facts or figures to read about in books. In short there is absolutely nothing to entice someone with a brain like yours. It's all fabricated bullshit and I honestly don't understand why you're wasting your time on it."

Hermione hesitated before she answered. Her eyes locked with Draco's soft grey ones and she wondered why these days Draco Malfoy seemed to be the only person that even thought on remotely the same wave length as her. It was terrifying and even worse that it was beginning to feel not scary at all. In here it was easy to forget who they were out there. ' People like us'… she flushed at the implication of his words.

"You're right it is complete and utter nonsense but I plan to educate myself on all parts of the curriculum. And I can't say something like that to Professor Trelawney even if she is a fraud. She's still a professor."

Malfoy rolled his eyes.

"Granger you're such a goody goody."

"And you're an arse." She replied evenly as she inspected her tea leaves at the bottom of her teacup.

Malfoy smiled and he watched as her lips curl slowly into a smile. They understood one another a little better now after the hippogriff day. They were arguing much less and if it weren't for the circumstances he knew that their relationship could even be classed as a friendly one. But things weren't that simple.

"Give me a look." He said as he reached for her teacup and placed his textbook down on the table.

Hermione's eyes widened.

"I thought you said it was a load of old rubbish."

Malfoy nodded.

"Exactly. So why waste time on it when you could be working on something worthwhile. I'll give you a reading" He said with a lopsided smile.

Hermione shook her head in disbelief but couldn't argue with his logic. She passed the teacup to him and she gasped slightly as his pale, long fingers brushed against hers. That feeling again. It was like pure heat and magic. It was similar to the effect that happened when you got hit by a jinx but it hit her deeper than a jinx. His eyes caught hers and she saw that he'd felt it too, again. She flushed and dropped her eyes quickly. What was that about? The answer to this weird sensation would be in the library surely?

He dropped his eyes unwillingly from her shy, warm gaze. He felt his pulse quicken and the finger that had brushed against hers buzzed strangely. It was like the feeling he'd experienced when he'd first held his wand. It was pure magic. How strange. He gazed into the tea leaves slightly shaken by what had passed between them. He gazed at the soil like leaves and the damp patterns they left at the bottom. It was a heart. Of all things to find there he found that.

"Looks like a heart to me."

Hermione squinted and she had to agree it did look a little like one.

"Try your hardest not to fall in love with me now, you know how accurate this stuff is." He replied with a sarcastic smirk.

She flicked through her book choosing to ignore him. But she could feel herself blushing. Falling in love with Malfoy was too ridiculous for even tea leaves to predict.

She shook her head with a smile.

"Hearts don't mean romantic love. They represent friendship and truth." She said flicking the book over to him so he could read.

Malfoy nodded and pretended to read.

"Fascinating." He said as he took the book from her hands and launched it behind him over his head.

Hermione laughed. She didn't generally approve of disrespecting literature but since it was that book she really couldn't care less.

He wrapped his Slytherin scarf round his shoulders and cleared his throat.

He put on a dreamy voice clearly attempting to be Trelawney.

"Oh dear. It looks like you have the heart of death. Pity, pity so young and so talented-"

Hermione laughed heartily his Trelawney impersonation was spot on.

"Oh shut up. I got enough off her this afternoon."

"You know it's a load of crap so you should stand up for yourself you know."

Hermione's eyes widened.

"I should stand up for myself? What about you?" She asked incredulously.

"What about me?" He asked.

"Still going to throw the game for daddy dearest are you?" She asked firmly.

Malfoy's eyes hardened and she knew she'd overstepped the boundary again.

"This is completely different." He said coldly

Hermione shook her head.

"It isn't. Until you stand up to your father and until I somehow manage to gather up the courage to stand up to Trelawney we're trapped." She said with a weary sigh.

Malfoy sighed with her. He didn't want to fight her. She was right. He would have to face his father. They were trapped for now it was true. But if he was honest he didn't mind being trapped if he was trapped with Hermione Granger. At least he wasn't alone. A week ago he would never have believed that to be true but the fact is it was true. Changes were happening within himself and in the wizarding world in general. The Dementor's presence here was a warning sigh. The days would soon darken like they had the last time before he or Hermione had even been born. He'd been feeling different of late and he couldn't deny the fact that these changes that were happening were a result of being in her presence. Change was scary. But change was good too. Oh Merlin now he was starting to sound like that batty Trelawney woman. Just great.

As they packed their things away Hermione chanced a glance at Malfoy.

"So are you going to forfeit then?" She asked.

Malfoy hesitated.

"I don't know. I don't want to." He said.

"Then don't." She asked.

Malfoy sighed with a sad smile.

"It's not that easy for someone like me Granger." He said.

"Why can't it be? I think you can do it you know if you believe in yourself."

Malfoy rolled his eyes at Hermione's naïve positivity.

"I don't believe in myself." He said.

"Is that because your father told you you weren't good enough?" She asked angrily.

Malfoy didn't answer but the flush on his cheeks and the stiffening of his posture told her she was correct. Hermione didn't think it was possible to feel more sorry for Malfoy. She wondered how she'd managed to misunderstand him for two whole years.

She shook her head in disbelief and gazed at him evenly.

"Nonsense! The only thing Harry has that you don't is people that truly believe in him. I believe in you too you know. I, I think you can do it, I really do."

Hermione's voice shook nervously and she could feel a flush creeping up her neck to her face. But Malfoy needed someone right now and that was worth more than her embarrassment. She really did think he could do it though that was the truth.

Malfoy was taken aback by her kind timidly spoken words. Hermione was a very honest person and her words contained no hint of a lie. For whatever reason she had chosen to believe in him. Why? He didn't know. But her words made his chest feel suddenly less hollow and cold. He felt warm and happy. Is this what having a real friend felt like? Hermione looked slightly embarrassed by her confession but her eyes remained focused on him.

"I'll play." He said.

Hermione grinned and her arms twitched slightly. For one crazy moment Malfoy thought she was going to leap across the table and embrace him. But she didn't.

"But only if you wear a Slytherin scarf."

Hermione's face fell and Malfoy grinned at her disgusted expression.

"Urgh that's not fair Malfoy." She scowled.

"Who said anything about me being fair? You're the one that said you believed in me that you thought I could really do this. How can you believe in me if you're too afraid to show it?" He said with a smirk using her words against her.

Hermione shook her head but nodded. She couldn't believe she was doing this. Manipulative Slytherin that he was she didn't stand a chance. But Malfoy needed to know someone supported him and his decision because his father certainly wouldn't. She had to do this for him what better way to show she believed. It would almost be worth the absolute ribbing she would get off Harry and Ron. Almost. Harry needed her but right now Malfoy needed her more.

"Fine I'll wear it." She replied shortly.

Malfoy's eyes widened.

"I wasn't actually being serious Granger-"

"Well I was." She said defiantly.

Malfoy marvelled at her stubbornness. Granger didn't back down from anything and he really admired that about her.

"Potter and Weasley will ask questions." He said warningly.

"Well it's none of their business which team or, person I choose to support." She said hotly.

Malfoy smiled. Really smiled. It was so easy to do around her. The tension he'd been feeling all day slipped away. She believed in him and honestly he didn't care what his father did to him at that moment all he could think of was one uncommonly pretty, bushy haired Gryffindor defiantly wearing green in a sea of red and gold.

She left the desk to retrieve her divination book and with a curt nod towards him and her head held high she left. Malfoy's smile widened as she hesitated and turned to him in the doorway and gave him a gentle smile. She didn't have to say anything for him to know that smile meant she was proud of him for doing his own thing. And he had her to thank. But he didn't say anything. He returned her smile and they just understood one another. With Granger he never had to say anything she just seemed to know. He was starting to get used to being around the insufferable little know it all.

AN: Sorry I know I promised Quidditch but it'll definitely be in the next chapter. Hope you enjoy the blossoming friendship fluff. Lots of love until next time. Thanks so much to any reviewers/followers/favouriters. You are genuinely putting smiles on my face.


	6. Show me your broken heart

**AN:** This chapter I'm listening to The Weeknd – As You Are.

 **Chapter 6 – Show me broken heart to know your flaws.**

The day of the Gryffindor vs Slytherin match had dawned amidst a whirlwind of tension and excitement. The past month had flown by as Hermione settled into her new routine of; lessons, dinner with Harry and Ron, occasional visits to Hagrid, Room of Requirement with Malfoy, fixing the boys homework in the common room before bed, sleep and then it was time to do it all over again. It was amazing how surprisingly normal that routine had become to her. It was now only a week until the Halloween feast and Hermione had to admit the first semester was going well considering how badly it had started.

Professor Lupin really was a wonderful teacher and having him directly before Snape's double potions made even those torturous lessons seem bearable somehow. Hermione would have enjoyed potions immensely if it weren't for Snape's cruel jibes but she was in such a good mood these days that his comments literally had little effect on her. People had started to forget about Harry's dementor incident and he was now excelling in defence against the dark arts. Hermione was almost jealous that he was doing better than her but she simply didn't have the heart to be jealous, especially of him. Harry deserved this. He really was becoming a very talented wizard. Even Ron was doing well and both of them seemed to have backed off on asking her too many questions which she was grateful for as it made her feel less guilty about lying to them. Things had almost gone back to how they had been before, well, except for Malfoy.

She was finding it more and more difficult to dread their nightly meetings. At the weekends when they didn't meet she had to admit she missed his intellectual conversation. Playing chess in the common room with Ron and Harry didn't hold her attention the same way it once had and she hated the fact that she found her thoughts drifting to him and wondering what he was doing. Or what they would be talking about if he were with her. In her own mind at least she counted him as a friend. A secret friend that no one could ever know about of course, but still a friend. She knew it was wrong but no one else would understand even if she could tell someone. She knew she shouldn't be thinking about him at all. She was a muggle born Gryffindor and he was a pureblood Slytherin from a family who fought for...the _other_ side. It just wasn't going to work and that was the ugly truth thinly concealed behind all of this.

But Malfoy wasn't his family. He was so much more than that. He was an endlessly fascinating person and each time he let his guard slip in her presence she revelled in the vulnerability that he was allowing her of all people to bear witness to. He was complex and intriguing and her equal academically at the very least. Two hours a day just wasn't enough any more. He was her friend. Why couldn't she have lunch with him? Or study with him in the library? Why did she have to hide him away in their little room? Because no one would understand or accept a friendship like theirs that's why. Hermione had always been proud of her parents. She'd never felt shame about her muggle born heritage. But lately she'd found herself wondering how easy it would be if she was a pureblood like him. But she wasn't and there was nothing to be done. And so Hermione continued to live a double life wondering if some day her two lives would ever intersect. And what would happen if they ever did.

Malfoy had spent the entire month leading up to the match working hard with his quidditch team. He was exhausted but he felt the most confident he had ever felt on his broom and in his ability to win this game. He'd even toned down his bickering with Potter, no matter how tempting it was to do so; he was focusing everything he had into this match. When he wasn't on his broom or attempting to stay awake in class he was with Granger. He liked her and he liked spending time with her. It was that simple. Malfoy had never had a true friend before. Not one he felt like he could tell anything to at the very least. He had plenty of acquaintances that ensured his family kept their old blood ties to other powerful families; Crabbe, Goyle, Nott, Zabini, hell even Pansy but never any true friends – until her.

Their situation may have been forced upon them but not their resulting interactions. Granger was honestly one of the most interesting, intelligent and witty people he'd ever met. She was a delightful conversationalist. Even when she drove him mad there was no one he enjoyed bantering with more. He spent so much time around his fellow Slytherins that he still didn't quite understand how to act around someone as open and genuinely selfless as her. Granger wasn't some pureblood wanting his attention for the name he carried. Or some half blood looking to get herself into higher social circles to have a shot at the big money. None of these things interested her. She simply didn't care. She only cared about the pursuit of knowledge and the true happiness that came with having real loyal friends and he wasn't ashamed to admit he wanted to be one of them anymore.

She was different. And she made him feel different. For two hours he could forget everything that was expected of him. With her he could just be. She was fiery and opinionated but she never judged. She understood. For the first time Malfoy understood how it felt to connect with someone and he thought about her a lot. He wished there was a way to spend more time with her but there wasn't. No one else would understand. Because in the most basic terms she was a muggle born Gryffindor and he was a pure blood Slytherin. And all that other shit that was so important to him, like the fact she was the only person he actually felt safe talking to, or that she was a really great person even with all her annoying little habits or perhaps because of them, meant absolutely nothing to everyone else. And there was nothing they could do to change that.

Malfoy was the most nervous he'd ever been in his life. Malfoy's were cool, calm and collected. But not today. He was pacing restlessly in the owlery. He'd just sent off his final cool, disinterested reply to his father's increasingly angry letters that he'd been receiving all month. His father's words were venomous and he knew he'd pay for playing this game in one way or another. He'd pay the heaviest price if he lost. But either way his father would make him pay he knew that. But despite that he was glad he'd made his own decision. Granger knew his father to be vile and cruel but she didn't know the true extent of his cruelty. He hoped she never experienced it. He didn't know how his mother coped with his father all these years.

His mother mollycoddled him as any mother would her only son, but in her own way he knew she did truly love and care for him even if she expressed it in strange ways. But his father was a different story. He couldn't remember his father ever hugging him or being any sort of 'normal' father to him come to think of it. Draco never wanted for anything. He got everything he ever asked for except his father's love. And now he realised it was because that was something his father could never give him. He would never be good enough for his father but maybe he could be good enough for himself. Hermione was slowly making him believe that. It felt good, liberating even.

He glanced at his watch. She was late. The dawn had just broken and the autumn chill of the night was still lingering in the air. The sun was working hard to burn through the thick, grey clouds. It was cold for October. Malfoy watched his breath cloud in the air as a barn owl swooped over his head disappearing into a damp cloud of deepest grey. The rain wasn't far off and visibility was poor. Just great conditions for finding that snitch he thought bitterly. He turned at the sound of running footsteps and he smiled at the girl who stood before him flushed, wild haired and her eyes still a little heavy with sleep. He felt himself relax slightly her presence calmed him but at the same time his entire abdomen seemed to fill with butterflies.

"Are you nervous?" She asked quietly.

Malfoy gave her a pointed look.

She shook her head and bit her lip.

"Sorry stupid question. I just want you to know that I really am proud of you. I know it wasn't easy. And I'll be out there cheering you on. Promise. You can do this."

She said as she squeezed his shoulder tentatively and gazed up at him.

He felt a slight swooping sensation in his stomach at her gentle touch through his thin quidditch robes. But her words lit a fire within him that made him want to go out onto that pitch right now and play the best game of his life. He could do this. He believed her, he really did.

He nodded unable to think of anything appropriate to say.

"I knew you wouldn't want to eat in the great hall this morning, or want to eat at all because of the nerves, but you have to try." She said gently as she passed him a slice of still warm buttered toast she held in her hand.

Malfoy never ceased to be blown away by her thoughtfulness. She thought about everything and everyone, even him. She really did care. He flushed as they stood looking out across the chilly, grey grounds from the owlery window. He really did feel sick he didn't think he could eat.

"I really don't think I can eat anyth-mff"

Hermione had waited patiently for her opportunity to shove the slice of toast into Malfoy's open mouth.

Malfoy glared at her with a frown. Had she really just done that? He extracted the uneaten toast from his mouth brushing the toast crumbs from the corner of his lips with the back of his gloved hand. He had to admit now he'd tasted the hot butter on his tongue he was sort of hungry but he'd never admit that to her.

"Look if you don't eat now your blood sugar will spike during the match and your concentration and motor sk-"

"All right, alright I'll eat. Bloody hell anything to save me from one of your Madam Pomfrey style lectures." He said as he brought the toast back to his lips and nibbled on it slowly.

Hermione made to retort but she saw that he was smiling at her and eating his toast so she simply nodded satisfied for the moment.

They watched the sunrise together in relative silence. She knew he wasn't in the mood to chat. She passed him his second slice of toast without words. Hermione had to admit she'd never really taken notice before of why everyone went crazy for all the boys in their quidditch gear but now as she glanced at Malfoy in the dawn light she was beginning to understand why.

She watched Malfoy look out into the grey sky that was almost the same shade as his eyes but far less beautiful somehow. He was deep in concentration as he chewed on his last toast crust. It was difficult to tell what build the boys had with their uniforms and school robes but quidditch robes were much more revealing with their sporty cut. His scarf was draped across his shoulders loosely. She watched where the laces at his throat criss crossed down to his mid chest revealing slivers of pale, firm skin and fine blonde hairs. She watched his Adam's apple bob uninhibited by shirt collars or ties. The green and silver brought out the pale colour of his skin, hair and eyes. He was slim and wiry like Harry but a little taller. And where Harry was still slightly awkwardly skinny Malfoy's shoulders and chest were already beginning to broaden. He raked a gloved hand through his hair and Hermione noticed his arm muscles tensing. He really did look quite handsome she had to admit. She felt her face heat as his eyes caught hers. He had a puzzled expression on his face.

Had Hermione Granger just checked him out? He watched her closely as a pretty pink blush coloured her cheeks. How strange. But it wasn't the way other girls like Pansy would stare at him like a wolf intent on devouring her prey. She was looking at him in a way he'd never noticed her looking at him before. She was looking at him like he was an object that she found mildly interesting because she'd never truly noticed it before. It made him smile. Hermione Granger couldn't even check someone out in the 'normal' way. Her deep brown eyes made his pulse quicken and he had to admit the thought of her checking him out was boosting his ego a little. He felt nervous but suddenly it wasn't because of anything to do with the game.

"You should go to the great hall and see P-your friends before the game." He said breaking the odd atmosphere between them.

Hermione nodded.

"You're sort of my friend too you know." She said awkwardly.

Malfoy's eyes widened. He'd thought it but he'd never say it out loud. Saying it out loud suddenly made all of this very real.

"Am I?" He blurted out rather dumbly.

He inwardly cringed. He didn't think he'd ever sounded so pathetic.

Hermione smiled shyly at him but nodded.

"I don't wear Slytherin scarves just for a laugh Malfoy." She said rolling her eyes.

Malfoy felt that warm feeling spread all over his chest all the way down to his toes. He only got that feeling when he was with her. It chased all his nerves and fears away.

"Where is your scarf Granger? You look like a regular Gryffindor supporter to me." He asked teasingly.

She was wearing a deep red sweatshirt with the Gryffindor crest on it. And a red bobble hat to match. He had to admit she looked cute today. He'd never really noticed her out of uniform before. She had a petite, slim build and unlike Pansy whose chest had at least doubled in size over the summer much to the enjoyment of most of the Slytherin boys, even some of the girls, Granger's chest was only slightly more developed than his own. But her relatively flat chest was by no means unattractive. Draco had never been one to care about girl's breasts to be honest. He liked them very much but he didn't really care what size they were much to Pansy's annoyance. He cared more about what a girl had inside her head more than anything else. But that wasn't to say he didn't appreciate physical attributes. Without her robes he could see the delicate curves of her waist and hips in her jeans. Her hips, bottom and slim legs were perfectly outlined by the tight denim. He found himself wishing that Hogwarts made jeans mandatory uniform. He hoped he snapped his eyes back up to meet hers before she noticed his eyes lingering on her pert behind. He'd just checked Granger out. What the hell was going on here?!

"I'm just going to transfigure my Gryffindor one." She replied with a shrug.

Malfoy shook his head.

"Take mine." He said as grabbed his old scarf from around his shoulders and held it out to her.

Hermione blushed. She couldn't take his scarf. She didn't know why but she just knew it would change things between them somehow.

"I can't take yours."

"I can't wear mine on the field anyway. Take it…unless you're chickening out about-"

"No." She replied stubbornly as she faced him completely.

Malfoy grinned at her. He gently swept Granger's hair to the side with his other hand relishing how soft her unruly, rose scented waves felt between his fingers. He heard her gasp and wondered why he was being so bold and he realised it was because he wanted to be. He placed the scarf around her throat wrapping it loosely and sweeping her hair out over the scarf. She was blushing and her brown eyes were darker than he'd ever seen them.

"Thanks." She replied shyly.

Malfoy nodded.

"You look good in green." He said with a smile. She really did he wasn't just saying that. It clashed with her red hat but it brought out the hidden green and gold flecks in her eyes.

Hermione rolled her eyes.

"You would say that."

"I mean it. Now go on it's getting late." He said.

Hermione nodded.

She hesitated awkwardly for a moment and Malfoy wondered what she was doing.

Hermione inhaled deeply as his minty, spicy scent filled her nostrils from his cosy warm scarf. She didn't care that it was a Slytherin scarf. It was his scarf and that's all that mattered. She didn't know what possessed her to do what she did next perhaps it was a moment of temporary insanity. She reached up on tiptoe keeping her arms and body slightly distanced from him. She let her face draw near his and she tentatively brought her lips to his cheek. She heard him gasp slightly and the surprised movement of his head caused her lips to catch the very corner of his mouth with hers. Half of her lips pressed against his cool, smooth cheek and the other half of her mouth felt the intoxicatingly warm, hint of his closed lips that had the tiniest crumb of toast still on them. She felt a jolt of electricity pass from her skin to his. She pulled back quickly only daring to glance briefly at his puzzled slightly shy expression.

"Good luck." She mumbled before she flew down the owlery stairs faster than she'd ever ran in her life.

Her heart was pounding and butterflies were erupting in her stomach. What had she been thinking?! Well she'd only meant to kiss him on the cheek he'd been the one to move. It was all his fault. Hermione, this is _all_ your fault what were you thinking even wanting to kiss him on the cheek?! She could still smell him from his proximity and the warm scarf currently wrapped around her. She unthinkingly licked her lips to find the slightest hint of buttered toast on them. She hadn't eaten anything yet. She flushed and attempted to clear her head of Malfoy before entering the great hall to no avail.

Malfoy watched as Hermione streaked down the stairs her hair and his scarf streaming behind her. He smiled numbly as he clutched his cold fingers against the heated skin where her lips had been moments ago. She'd kissed him. Well, sort of. Well the good news was he was no longer freaking out about the game. The bad news was that he was wishing he'd moved his head slightly more to the right so she wouldn't have gotten any of his cheek at all. Mouth to mouth. He found he didn't mind the idea of her kissing him. He quite liked it actually. It made him feel all warm and strange. And his entire body felt like it was buzzing like when their hands brushed sometimes. His father was going to kill him. If it wasn't for this game then certainly for having completely ridiculous thoughts about a muggle born witch currently draped in his scarf.

Hermione heard the whispers as soon as she entered the great hall but was unable to hear them. She couldn't be bothered acknowledging the stares either. Her mind was too preoccupied with a certain Slytherin whose scarf she was currently all wrapped up in. Oh right the scarf. That's why they were staring.

She sat across from Ron and a rather ashen subdued Harry. She pushed Harry's porridge closer to him.

"Eat up Harry. Don't be nervous. You've got this." She replied with a grin.

She really did mean that too. Both Malfoy and Harry were her friends. Both were more than capable of winning and she was more than capable of supporting them both simultaneously.

Ron and Harry's eyes both almost popped out of their heads at the green and silver woollen serpent adorning Hermione's throat.

"Hermione what the bloody hell are you doing wearing that thing?!" Replied Ron in disgust.

He'd even abandoned his sausages skewered on his fork he was so horrified.

Hermione flushed and shrugged coolly.

"Well Dumbledore's always going on about promoting inter house unity so I just thought why not? Don't worry Harry I'm of course still 100% backing Gryffindor and hoping you win." She said proudly shifting her scarf over to expose the Gryffindor crest on her jumper.

Ron and Harry still seemed to be unable to speak so she proceeded to eat her breakfast ignoring their pointed stares.

Thankfully Ginny and one of her friends walked over at that moment to save her from any further questions.

"Oh nice one Hermione. I'm doing that too." Said the girl beside Ginny in an airy voice.

The girl had silvery blonde hair and the most astonishingly dreamy expression. Ginny's eyes widened slightly at Hermione and she gave her a 'you will explain to me what is going on here in detail' later expression.

"Everyone this is Luna Lovegood." Said Ginny introducing her.

Hermione knew she was a rather…eccentric Ravenclaw in Ginny's year. Hermione noticed the rather well made Lion's head hat, complete with mane that she assumed she'd made herself.

"See I'm a Ravenclaw but I support Gryffindor. Good for you supporting Slytherin. I can see that you have very few wrackspurts in your aura like me." She said before skipping off to her own table to get some breakfast.

Hermione looked after her with a frown.

"What on earth is a wrackspurt?" She asked.

Ginny gave her a warning look.

"Don't get her started." She said with a laugh.

Ginny joined them for breakfast as the quidditch players began to leave.

"Go on Harry. Good luck!" Said Hermione as she stepped round the table hugged Harry tightly and gave him a kiss on both cheeks. He nodded and embraced her gratefully.

Hermione wondered briefly why being like that with Malfoy hadn't felt the same. Kissing Harry on the cheek didn't give her butterflies it never had. How very odd.

Ron left with him and Hermione promised to come find him in the stands with Ginny after she'd finished eating.

Ginny wished Harry a mumbled good luck her cheeks tinting scarlet as he thanked her and gave her a polite wave.

Hermione grinned at her and rolled her eyes.

"It's amazing how different you are when Harry's here. Normally I can't get you to shut up." She teased.

Ginny shoved her playfully and raised her eyebrows accusingly at her.

"So when were you going to tell me that you and Draco Malfoy are dating?" Asked Ginny matter of factly as she helped herself to more pumpkin juice.

Hermione was grateful she hadn't chosen that moment to drink her own pumpkin juice because she would have sprayed it all over Ginny.

"What?" Asked Hermione as she turned to Ginny in what she hoped was a cool relaxed manner even though her stomach had just dropped to her toes.

Her heart was racing. Oh God. Had he branded her somehow? Did purebloods have some sort of brand they put on people they kissed? Not that they'd really kissed, it was only a little and it was an accident-arrrrrrghhhhh stop Hermione. Relax.

"Well I would assume that's why he gave you his scarf to wear to the game."

She frowned. Had Ginny been in the owlery?

"But-"

"D.L.M. Draco Lucius Malfoy." She said as she thrust the monogrammed end of the scarf into Hermione's face.

Hermione flushed as her eyes adjusted on the elegant silver letters.

She hastily tucked that end of the scarf in.

Ginny laughed. And Hermione looked at her with a panic stricken expression. Ginny was too observant and clever for her own good sometimes. She had that mischievous, sneaky Weasley streak that she no doubt inherited from Fred and George. Damn.

"Um…" began Hermione lamely.

Ginny shook her head.

"Hermione you don't have to tell me." She said gently.

But Hermione found she wanted to. She was crumbling with the stress of keeping secrets from Harry and Ron. She was desperate to tell someone she could trust. And she knew she could trust Ginny.

"We aren't dating Ginny. Dumbledore asked me to help him with muggle studies and I agreed that's all. He's different you know. He's not like how everyone thinks he is. He's, he's sort of become my friend actually."

And there it was the truth. Well a version of it. She felt relief and fear fill her. What would Ginny say?

Ginny's eyes widened at Hermione's honest but guarded confession.

"Ok." Said Ginny with a smile.

Hermione frowned and gazed at Ginny as if she had grown another head.

"What? That's it? Just ok? You're not going to say anything about me being friends with him?" She asked incredulously.

Ginny shook her head.

"Hermione you're my friend if you trust and like Malfoy and if you say he's your friend then I accept that. I guess that makes him my friend too now." She said with an awkward grimace.

Hermione laughed and felt a massive weight lift off her shoulders. She hugged Ginny impulsively grateful to have someone like her as a friend.

"Thanks. Ginny could you keep this a secret for now? I haven't told the boys and, I don't know how to. I just feel awful keeping this from them-"

"Don't tell them. Not yet anyway. You know how they get. They love you Hermione and they will get used to this. But take it slow with them alright. Bit by bit. Not everyone can be as fabulously accepting as me." She said with a flourish of her magnificent red hair.

Hermione nodded feeling much more relaxed than she had in a while.

"If you ever need to talk Hermione you know where I am. I mean I love my brother and Harry too but let's be honest they're sort of rubbish with boy stuff."

Hermione laughed and nodded she had to agree.

"Come on we'd better go." Said Hermione as she looped her arm through Ginny's and they made their way to the quidditch pitch.

Hermione's heart was racing. Come on boys. No matter what happens out there play your best. I believe in you. And she truly did.

Draco noticed Potter's eyes on him as they stood beside their Captain's as they begrudgingly shook hands. Potter had his usual disdain but also a hint of curiosity in his eyes. How odd.

Draco mounted his broom, kicked off from the ground and ascended into the chilly air. The fine rain had soaked through his skin instantly. It was freezing. It felt colder than October as the rain felt like ice on his exposed skin. He surveyed the chasers as they whizzed past one another like green and red blurs as the quaffle passed between them. He spotted Harry beside the Gryffindor goal posts. He flew to the opposite end training his eyes towards the sky. The visibility was terrible but he made out a few faces in the crowd. His father's pale, long hair caught his eyes from the stands. He felt his stomach drop. He gazed into the sea of red and he saw her. He felt a smile grace his lips. His scarf was wrapped tightly around her neck as she was sandwiched between the two Weasley's Ginny and Ron. She was wearing his scarf. She believed in him. He let his lungs fill with icy air as he did a loop of the pitch. He could do this. He was approaching the Gryffindor goal posts as Katie Bell scored 10 points for Gryffindor. Draco grimaced. Shit.

"I know you have something to do with Hermione wearing that Slytherin scarf Malfoy." Said Potter's voice as he drew up on his left hand side.

Malfoy rolled his eyes.

"Prove it Potter. Granger can wear whatever the hell she wants. You know she doesn't take orders from anyone let alone me." He said with a crooked smile.

Harry's eyes widened. It was almost like he knew Hermione but he…couldn't, could he?

Harry drew his eyes over to beside Wood's head where he thought he'd caught a glimmer of gold. But it had disappeared into the drizzle once more, if it had really been there at all.

"I don't know what you're up to Malfoy but if you hurt my friends-"

Malfoy shook his head.

"Later Potter I've got a game to win."

Harry rolled his eyes.

"You wish." He said as he flew to the goalposts once more.

"Ohhh and just like the little altercation between the seekers Malfoy and Potter seems to have ended without violence for once-"

Lee Jordan's disappointed voice echoed across the stadium.

"Mr Jordan please keep to the actual game." Interrupted Professor McGonagall brusquely.

Hermione grimaced as she wiped her binoculars to clear the raindrops. It was freezing and the rain and low cloud was affecting everyone's visibility. She was regularly losing sight of the quaffle let alone the snitch.

"Wonder what that was about? Harry looked really mad." Whispered Ginny.

Hermione shrugged but exchanged a worried glance with her. Boys. She wished those two didn't have to fight all the time. She classed them as her friends and she hated the thought of being forced to choose a side because she would have to choose Harry. And she really, really didn't want it to come to that.

"Come on Harry knock him off his broom!" Shouted Ron.

Hermione instinctively elbowed Ron in the ribs.

"Ah – what was that for?" Asked Ron indignantly rubbing his side.

"Hardly sportsmanlike Ron." Replied Hermione hotly.

"Come on 'Mione Flint nearly knocked Angelina off her broom first." Said Ron.

Hermione shook her head. Did quidditch have to be so violent? Her heart was in her mouth as she watched Fred and George whack a bludger that narrowly missed Malfoy's head by centimetres.

"Awww unlucky George. Did you see that? Nearly knocked Malfoy's head off his shoulders then." Said Ron proudly.

Hermione paled and Ginny gave her a tight smile. This was horrible. Her nerves couldn't take much more and she wasn't even playing. And then everything changed in the blink of an eye. A deep chill settled into her bones, her breath clouded in front of her. The sky darkened like her thoughts and she saw the fluttery black robes of the dementor's mixing amongst the green and red of the players.

Malfoy suddenly felt all of the positivity leave him. He couldn't do this. Of course he couldn't. He wasn't good enough. He wasn't good enough to win. He wasn't a good enough pure blood for his father. He wasn't a good enough person to be friends with Hermione. His chest felt completely empty and hollow as the warmth of Hermione's words and lips faded from his memory. He was so cold. The game had fallen eerily silent and he realised he'd managed to drift above the clouds. Just him and Potter. He gasped. There it was glinting gold in the watery sunlight, the snitch. He zoomed off downwards back towards the pitch. He felt Harry at his side he'd seen it too. He felt his presence to his right and caught a glimpse of scarlet robes on his periphery. He didn't dare look back. He lunged forward with as much speed as he could muster and reached his hand out. His fingers had never seemed as short as in that that moment. With one final lurch he just barely managed to contain the snitch in his grasp. He'd caught it. He'd won. He tried to feel happy but his chest still felt oddly hollow.

"Oh no Malfoy's caught the snitch! –"Lee Jordan's voice echoed throughout the stadium with Slytherin's cheers and Gryffindor's boos.

"MR JORDAN! Impartiality please –"interrupted McGonagall again.

But even her voice sounded laced with disappointment.

"Potter's, Potter's falling!" Shouted a panicked Lee Jordan.

Malfoy's head snapped to behind him. He was falling. He swallowed thickly as fear took hold of him. A group of dementor's had swarmed him and more were descending floating eerily downwards. Hermione's voice filled his head.

"You're sort of my friend too you know."

He remembered the way her warm lips had felt on the corner of his mouth. The way she made him feel like he could do anything. The coldness left his chest as he thought about her. He let the snitch fly from his fingers forgotten as he plummeted down after Potter acting on instinct. He'd fallen off his broom and he had to dodge it swiftly as the wind caught it dragging it right into the whomping willow. He could hear the screams from the crowd and he watched as teachers ran onto the pitch. He was close he reached out his hand and grabbed Potter's wrist. He jerked down slightly for a moment before readjusting his balance.

"You're heavier than you look Potter." He groaned through gritted teeth. His eyes were closed and he was pale to the lips. He wondered if Potter was even alive.

Dumbledore and McGonagall both had their wands raised at them had he failed to catch him in time. He watched mesmerised as the silvery ghost like creatures issued from the tips of the professor's wands and they chased the amassing dementors away. His chest felt warm once more. The rain lifted and the sun began to peek through the clouds. He let Potter dangle to the ground gently as he was quickly ripped from his hands by Madam Pomfrey and Dumbledore.

He dismounted to find a crowd of people watching him intently. Half of them had their eyes on Harry's limp form and the other half were on him. He lowered his eyes defensively what were they staring at?

"Well erm well done Mr Malfoy. Well played and quick thinking with Potter too. Thank you." Said McGonagall hesitantly.

Malfoy raised his eyes to hers in shock. Had she just thanked him? But she despised him? Well McGonagall was pretty harsh but fair if he was honest. But as Gryffindor's head of house she generally treated him quite frostily but she was gazing at him with genuine reverence. Snape was simply watching him with his black eyes an unreadable expression on his face. He felt his face heat. He didn't want a lecture from him, not right now.

Hermione, Ron and Ginny raced forwards running to Harry. Hermione stopped in front of Malfoy. Her eyes were swirling with an unknown emotion. He could tell she wanted to say something but now wasn't the time or the place.

Madam Hooch approached him to congratulate him on a good game but he shook his head. He hadn't won fair and square. Potter had fallen. It wasn't a fair game if he hadn't he might've got the snitch before him.

"I want a rematch. Potter was falling before I caught the snitch. It shouldn't count. Time out should've been called." He blurted out.

He heard a shocked gasp ripple through the crowd.

Madam Hooch's yellow eyes widened as she considered. He could feel Hermione's eyes on him but he dared not look at her.

"Nonsense Draco. Come now this is your moment of victory." Said Lucius Malfoy tightly as he used his cane to part the crowd.

His fingers curled firmly into Draco's collarbone. It hurt. His icy silver eyes held a threat in them but Draco wasn't afraid anymore.

Draco shook his head as he watched Harry being stretchered away. Hermione hesitated caught between staying at his side and going to Harry.

This wasn't his moment of victory. He still hadn't won against Harry fair and square and he wanted to. He wanted to prove he could do things the fair way. The right way. He wanted to do that for Hermione and most importantly himself. He didn't feel like celebrating as most of the subdued crowd, except some of the Slytherin's, worried over Harry Potter.

"I'd like a rematch."

Madam Hooch nodded.

"Well I see your point. I'll try to get one organised but I must discuss it with the other Professor's, the sports board and Professor Dumbledore."

Malfoy nodded satisfied for the moment.

"Hermione."

Draco looked towards Hermione. Her face was pink and her brown eyes were wet and filled with some unknown expression that made his chest feel like it was going to burst.

Ron was calling her. She should go.

He could feel his father's fingers digging deeper as he made an annoyed sound in his throat. He was going to pay for this. But he had just been graced by the most beautiful of smiles from Hermione Granger and it was worth it. He returned her smile softly.

She took Ron's arm as they followed behind the stretcher but Hermione's eyes never left his and his never left hers until she was out of sight.

He drew his eyes back to the slowly dispersing crowd. His Slytherin team mates were not happy with him. He dared not glance at his father. He was livid. But Hermione wasn't. Her smile was worth it. He'd did the right thing; it hadn't been easy for him. It wouldn't be easy for him to face this back lash. But he felt good. He wasn't empty any more. He felt happier than he'd ever been even though he knew he was about to get beaten by his father. Berated by his teammates and that he'd willingly lost the only game he'd ever won against Harry Potter. How strange that Granger's smile was worth more than all of that in the end. His life really had taken strange turn thanks to that wild haired Gryffindor still wearing his scarf.

Hermione sat at Harry's bedside as he came round. Ron sat on his other side and Ginny had very kindly left off some chocolate to make him feel better on Lupin's orders.

Harry looked crestfallen and Hermione's heart went out to him.

"It was an accident Harry there was nothing you could have done – it was the dementors. They're not supposed to come near the school. Dumbledore was livid he-"

"Did Malfoy win? We were both going for the snitch when-"

Hermione nodded as Harry's face fell.

"But he, he asked Hooch for a rematch you know. He said it wasn't a fair win. That time out should've been called. He said he caught it after you'd fallen from your broom. They're considering it just now, the rematch. He caught you you know when you fell off your broom." Hermione felt her face heat at the memory.

Draco had looked so happy. She was immensely proud of him for standing up for himself and doing the right thing. It filled her entire heart with pride and happiness. It would have been easy for him to accept the win. But he wanted to win against Harry fair and square maybe that's why he'd asked for the rematch. She grimaced as she remembered Lucius Malfoy's cold icy glare on her. It was amazing how similar his and Draco's eyes were but yet so different. Draco's were warmer somehow. So much warmer. She hoped he was ok. It took a lot of guts for him to do that. Especially in front of his father. He would pay for his insolence. She shuddered and gulped. Her gut clenched with worry.

"Why would he do that?" Asked Harry incredulously with a disbelieving look on his face as he ate more chocolate.

Hermione shook her head. She honestly didn't know the answer to that. She wanted to speak to him and ask him why but she didn't know when she'd next get the chance. She wanted to see him.

Ron grabbed a piece of chocolate for himself.

"I know mate. Pretty mental if you ask me. Was a pretty decent thing of him to do…well for someone like Malfoy I mean." Said Ron between mouthfuls.

Hermione's eyes widened at Ron's words. Maybe she could tell them about Malfoy some day.

Harry shook his head.

"Malfoy never acts selflessly. It'll be part of some plan. I just don't know what yet." He said as he glanced meaningfully at Hermione and the green scarf that was still wrapped around her neck.

Hermione flushed and cast her eyes away. Did he know about Malfoy? But how?

She wanted so desperately to defend Malfoy and say perhaps Harry didn't know him at all. He saved him and he refused to accept his win. He certainly hadn't done those things to benefit himself. He had acted selflessly but she held her tongue Harry was already suspicious. As Hermione squeezed Harry's hand as he mourned the splinters of his broom she wished she could hold his hand like this too. She needed to see him.

The corridors were full of excited chatter about the events of the day. But Hermione found herself seriously disinterested in all of it. She only wanted to see him. Harry was feeling well enough to attend dinner and the three of them went together. Harry was being stared at but he wasn't the main subject of chatter. That accolade went to Malfoy and his seemingly 'strange, odd' behaviour that day. He was absent from the Slytherin table and Hermione felt her heart sink as worry settled in her stomach once more. She hoped he was ok. She pushed her shepherd's pie around the plate. She fussed with his Slytherin scarf that now lay in her lap. She had to see him. She bid goodbye to Harry and Ron saying she would meet them in the common room. She had to find him. But to her slight annoyance they both followed her out. Even Ron didn't feel like eating much after everything that happened. She gripped his scarf tightly in her hand.

"Nice scarf Granger. Didn't think mudbloods were allowed to buy Slytherin scarves." Said Pansy Parkinson with a look that could turn milk sour.

She felt Ron and Harry stiffen beside her but Hermione just smiled. She felt herself being filled with confidence and pride. If Malfoy could stand up to his father she could stand up to someone like Pansy bloody Parkinson.

"Thanks Pansy. But you know I didn't buy this. Draco gave it to me."

She heard Ron splutter at her side. She watched as Pansy's pug face flushed red as her eyes fell on the monogrammed letters. Her grin widened as she watched Pansy stomp away her eyes wet and her face almost purple with anger. It was the first time she'd ever called him Draco and it had the desired effect on Pansy and also surprisingly on herself.

"Bloody hell Hermione what's gotten into you? What were you thinking saying that to her? It was pretty funny for her reaction though." Said Ron proudly despite his shock.

Hermione shrugged. She had no idea what had gotten into her. She just felt so powerful and strong in that moment. Harry was gazing at her cautiously and in that moment she knew that she would have to speak to Harry about Malfoy before he figured everything out. She could at least tell him what she'd told Ginny which was very close to the truth. She felt her heart drop slightly as the feeling of power ebbed away. She'd been so stupid. She felt sick. Pansy knew it was Draco's scarf. She would confront Draco about it. Or his father. Oh God. He would get in even more trouble. He might get hurt and they might be banned from seeing one another ever again. Lucius Malfoy had that kind of power. She had to see Draco. Her nerves weren't holding up well without him. He always seemed to be able to calm her down with his quiet, cool logic.

She rushed to the owlery claiming she had to write a quick note to her parents and that she'd meet Harry and Ron back in the common room. She grabbed a small brown owl's leg, which looked very put out at being disturbed at this late hour, and attached her quickly scribbled note to her leg.

"Deliver this to Draco Malfoy's dorm please and don't leave until he replies." She said firmly.

The owl almost seemed to roll her orange eyes at her before flying gracefully out over the grounds before looping back. Hermione nibbled her lip and tapped her foot. Now there was nothing to do but wait.

Draco lay in his bed tenderly patting the bruised part of his eye socket and he hissed as he felt the wound on his lip opening again. His father had not been pleased with him. He'd never seen him quite that mad before. Lucius Malfoy usually chose to tear people down with his well chosen barbed words. The way a pure blood wizard should. But today he'd been very, very mad at him. He shouted at him for being an embarrassment to the Malfoy name by not accepting his rightful win. Draco disagreed which earned him his first of many slaps. His father had skelped him and hit him before to discipline him but this was different. He'd never seen his father lose control but he had today. He'd dragged him away to the Shrieking Shack after the game and had cast silencing and protection spells all around them. Not good. He took the abuse his father dished out with as much strength as he could muster. He wouldn't be weak in front of him.

He stopped answering back after he felt the cool silver of his father's cane splitting his lip open. It wasn't worth it. His father would never understand why he'd did what he did. Even he had to admit he couldn't fully explain why he had himself. But then his father had said something that had made his blood boil and he couldn't hold back any more.

"I worry about you Draco. Not only was that display of behaviour deeply embarrassing and completely unacceptable it was disrespectful to me. Dumbledore and this school are filling your head with muggle nonsense. You are being brainwashed Draco. I saw the way _she_ was looking at you today. And worse still the way you looked at _her_ back. Disgusting." Lucius spat out.

Draco felt himself flush but he shook his head as he pressed the back of his hand to his bleeding mouth.

"Who?" He asked trying to feign innocence. Please don't let him have noticed her. He'd hurt her. And he didn't want that. Not ever.

Lucius smirked and approached him. He smacked Draco's hand away and forced his chin upwards forcing him to look into his eyes. They had the same eyes. Draco hated himself because when he looked in the mirror he saw his father staring back at him. People kept reminding him of that fact just in case he forgot. Some old relative at one of his mother's awful pure blood parties would pinch his cheek telling him just how much he looked like his father at that age. It made him feel sick.

"Don't. Lie. To. Me. Draco. I don't know what you think you're doing with Harry Potter's little mudblood-"

He spat in his father's face watching as his blood marred his pale skin and hair. He could say whatever he wanted about him but not her. Not her.

Lucius' eyes widened at his son's defiance and for the first time he was afraid. He was afraid of his own son. His own blood. He didn't recognise this boy at all.

"It stops now understand. I have eyes and ears everywhere Draco and you will not embarrass me like this again. The little mudblood could get hurt…if you are not careful do you understand? "

Draco stiffened. He didn't care what his father did to him but Granger was innocent. He didn't want to get her in danger. His father was a cruel man and he wouldn't think twice about hurting someone like her. He would hurt her because; she was a muggle born, because she was different, because she was strong and brilliant. He was threatened by someone like Granger because he would never understand her. He would hurt her because he feared what his archaic mind couldn't comprehend. He swore to himself then and there that he would try his hardest to be nothing like his father.

Draco was only just beginning to understand that all of this was much bigger than him or Granger or even his father. His father was an antiquated old fool, a dying breed afraid to face the change. But change was coming and Draco was ready to embrace it with open arms. But for now he would play along until the time came to turn the tables and then his father would pay for all these years of cruelty and manipulation. This wasn't just about him anymore and he had to protect her, it's what friends did wasn't it? He nodded begrudgingly and his father's sick smirk made him feel sick to his stomach.

"Much better Draco. Now run along and if you try anything like this again I'll know."

Draco nodded as his father thrust his wand in his face. Draco winced and screwed his eyes shut. He felt heat covering his face.

"A little glamour charm to cover those unsightly bruises. It'll wear off in a few hours enough time for one of your friends to pick a fight with you for ruining a perfectly good quidditch result I would say."

His father strode away from him without a word. Draco was shaking with anger and the cold that was seeping into his bones. He was still wearing his soaking wet quidditch robes. He was freezing and his entire body was numb and throbbing. He swallowed down the lump of emotion in his throat as he made the way back to Hogwarts. He ignored the stares and the whispers as he entered his dorm. He gazed at his reflection in the bathroom mirror and he sneered at his reflection. His father's cruel eyes gazed back at him from his own face. He punched the mirror wincing in pain as the skin over his knuckles broke. He felt a slight easing of the tension in his body as he watched the blood seep out over his long, pale fingers. The snake crest on his silver ring turned scarlet. He glanced at the empty mirror frame and smiled. Much better. He stepped into the bath letting the water warm his numb, abused skin. He let his head slip beneath the water and he watched as his bath water slowly tinted pink above him. Hermione's voice entered his head once more.

"I really am proud of you."

He broke through the surface of the water wiping the water from his face with his hands. What was there to be proud of?

Draco Malfoy lay in his bed his face throbbing and his body pulsing with unvented anger and exhaustion. His dorm mates Zabini, Nott, Crabbe and Goyle hadn't spoken to him. They had simply glared at him before returning to the common room. He could hear Pansy screaming something indistinct and high pitched as Zabini left the room leaving him alone once more. What was she screaming about now? Well there you go Draco Malfoy that's what happens when you do the right thing not even an acquaintance left in the world eh? Not even Pansy. He didn't care. He wasn't sorry he'd made his choice. _His_ choice and he wouldn't regret it. Hermione had smiled at him and that smile was worth all of these bruises and more.

He heard a tap at his dorm window and he bolted out of his bed as the tapping persisted. An owl he frowned as he opened the window letting the owl in. He took the note from its leg dreading his father's neat, elegant script. No. It was Granger's writing.

"I hope you're alright. I'm worried. I need to see you.

H."

That was it. He supposed she couldn't be too detailed in case her note ended up in the wrong hands. His father's venomous words echoed in his ears. Screw Dumbledore. It was too risky to meet her now. His father would hurt her.

He pulled a square of parchment from his bag.

"I'm fine. Don't worry. Can't meet anymore. He knows. Too dangerous for you.

D."

He attached it onto the bored brown owl's extended leg.

He left the window open as he flopped back down on his bed. Only moments later he heard a whoosh of wings and frowned. A reply?

"I'm not afraid. Meet me outside the Slytherin common room. 10 minutes.

H."

Draco Malfoy growled as he crumpled the paper between his aching fingers. Stupid stubborn witch. He wrote out a reply and attached it to the brown owl who by now looked beyond annoyed.

"NO. Too dangerous. Eyes and ears everywhere. If someone sees us you WILL get hurt. Too risky.

D."

He watched as the owl swooped up to the owlery in the dusk light torn between hoping it would return and hoping it wouldn't.

"I'm coming over.

H."

Malfoy scrunched the paper angrily in his hands and cursed.

"Fuck it all!"

The owl jumped slightly as he roughly put him on the window ledge with no message.

"No more messages for you mate. Piss off." He said.

The owl hooted indignantly and swooped into the dusk. What the hell was she thinking?! He'd warned her. She was a nightmare. An absolute nightmare. Why couldn't she just listen for once? He angrily pulled on a grey long sleeved shirt over his jogging bottoms. He laced his trainers wrong he was so angry and he didn't bother to fix them. He wouldn't be caught dead looking like this normally but he didn't care anymore. His mother always told him off for walking around in lounge wear in his own home. Come to think of it he'd never seen either of his parents in casual clothes. He didn't even know who he was anymore. He burst into the common room and hushed silence greeted him. Malfoy rolled his eyes.

"I know you're all talking about me. Don't let me disturb you. Carry on." He spat out.

He watched their eyes widen at his dishevelled appearance and the dark bruise blossoming beneath his eye and his split lip.

Pansy's jaw dropped and she rushed to his side.

"Drakey baby you're hurt."

Malfoy shook her off.

"Away to see your little mudblood?" Replied Pansy with a cruel smirk.

Malfoy frowned how did she know about Granger? He shrugged her off.

"Piss off Pansy." He said as he made his way out of the dorm. He laid against the wall in the dungeon letting his lungs fill with the cool air. What a fucking day. And it wasn't even over yet. He hoped Granger got here ok. He checked his watch. Past curfew. The last thing he needed was for her to get in trouble.

She had to see him she didn't care about anything else. She flew from the owlery to the common room. There was no one in the common room. The boys must have gone to bed. Perfect. She quietly made her way to the boy's dorm. Her heart was racing. Neville, Dean, Seamus Ron and Harry were already sleeping. She crept in and rooted through Harry's trunk quietly. She felt awful for doing this. She would make it up to him for her deception. That was a promise. Neville stirred in his sleep and she threw the cloak over herself quickly. She ran all the way to the dungeons never stopping for breath and only swerving on her route once to avoid Peeves and a weirdly satisfied Professor Snape. He looked even creepier when he smiled. What had him so happy she wondered? She wrapped her arms around herself beneath the cloak it was freezing down in the dungeons. How did the Slytherin's keep warm? She gasped as she was met with a casually dressed Draco Malfoy. He was leaning against the wall with his eyes closed. His perfect pale skin was marked by a purple bruise and a split lip. She felt tears sting her eyes. He was hurt. She smiled slightly as she noted his sweatpants were tucked into his socks and the laces on his trainers were laced up incorrectly. Draco Malfoy didn't look like the Pureblood Prince right now. Not at all.

"Pssst Malfoy?" She whispered.

She laughed quietly as Draco looked around for her.

"Get under here." She whispered as she lifted the cloak up revealing herself and ushering him underneath.

Malfoy's eyes widened but he didn't have much of a choice.

He joined her under the cloak as they crept hunched awkwardly to the room of requirement.

"Where the hell did you get something like this Granger?" He asked incredulously.

"Shhhh it's a cloak of invisibility not silence questions later." She whispered as they approached the room of requirement.

Malfoy huffed indignantly as Hermione opened the door.

The room wasn't their usual study space. It just had one couch and a roaring fire. There was a small table with hot tea and sandwiches. And on another table there was a few dusty, small brown, potions bottles.

She threw the cloak off them abandoning it on the floor.

"Sit." She demanded.

Malfoy was about to protest but she glared at him. She poured him a cup of tea putting a few lumps of sugar in. She put sandwiches on a plate for him. She brought these over to him and left them on the arm rest next to his hand which she noticed was scabbed and swollen. He'd hit someone.

She quietly poured liquid from one bottle into a bowl and she tipped out the other, which was a thick yellow paste that smelled oddly of tea tree and curry powder onto her fingers.

Malfoy sighed.

She knelt beside him on the couch facing him. She gripped his injured hand in hers ignoring the buzzing sensation rolling from his fingers to hers. She placed it in the bowl of murtlap essence.

"Better?" She asked.

Malfoy moved his swollen, raw knuckles gingerly in the fluid. Yes it was better. She made everything better. But this was dangerous and stupid and he had to stop this. He nodded.

"I have eyes and ears everywhere." He shuddered at his father's voice in his head as he subconsciously distanced himself slightly from Hermione.

Hermione frowned as he seemed to stiffen slightly and move closer to the arm rest and further from her.

"This'll help with the bruising." She said gently.

Malfoy's eyes widened and he shrank away from Hermione's paste coated fingers.

Hermione gazed at him softly.

"I won't hurt you." She whispered.

Malfoy swallowed thickly and dropped his eyes from hers. Of course she wouldn't hurt him. But he would hurt her. Even being here with him wasn't safe for her.

"I know. I'm fine stop fussing-"

"Fussing?! Oh of course. I'll just pretend you being hurt, sending me odd messages, acting completely off with me is normal shall I? I know it might be taking you a while to get this but friends worry and care about each other." She said with a frustrated sigh.

"We can't be friends." He stated simply.

Hermione moved closer to him and forced him to look at her even though she could tell he didn't want to.

"And why not?" She asked as she tentatively rubbed some paste onto the bruised skin below his eye.

He didn't flinch beneath her touch even though she knew it must hurt. She was being as gentle as she could. It hurt her to see him like this. His perfectly pale skin was marred by a purple bruise that she was quickly covering in cool paste. He just looked so fragile in that moment that she didn't dare speak again until he answered her.

"Because he'll hurt you."

Hermione sighed.

She moved the plate of sandwiches into his lap and placed the teacup in his hand.

"Drink. Eat." She said gently as she moved from his side to the arm rest.

She sat facing him. She drew her knees up to her chin and turned her face away from him as he ate slowly. She felt tears prick her eyes. She was so stupid.

"This is all my fault." She whispered.

Malfoy shook his head.

"How is any of this your fault?" He asked incredulously as he sipped his tea.

The sugar was making him feel better as were the sandwiches and most importantly Hermione's presence. He felt calmer than he had all day.

"If you hadn't played today none of this would ever have happened. You wouldn't have been hurt and-"

"I played because I wanted to. None of this is your fault alright Granger. Trust me." He said bitterly.

"What happened?" Asked Hermione gently.

Malfoy's eyes met hers and he let the words pour forth letting all of his anger at his father flow out of him leaving nothing behind but emptiness.

Hermione knew she was going to cry but she couldn't. He didn't want her pity. She swallowed the lump of emotion in her throat down. How could a father do that to his son? She was so angry. How could someone do that to anyone?

"He hurt you because of me. You said this wasn't my fault but it is. He wouldn't care about you being friends with me if I was a pureblood." She said with a weary sigh.

Malfoy turned to her.

"You don't get it do you? It's not your fault. It's never been your fault. This is all his fault. He's a coward. He's sick. And every pureblood is infected with this sickness too they just can't see it. It's in our blood we're all fucked up with this purity bullshit. The things he said about me I can handle. But the things he said – the way he spoke about you-"

"Are you completely out of your mind? What do you think you're doing defending me in front of him? Don't do that. If he says anything about me just know that I don't care so don't react. You got hurt because you defended me didn't you?"

Malfoy gazed evenly at Hermione's round eyes and shocked expression.

"So what I should just let him say all these disgusting things about you?" He said incredulously.

Hermione blushed at his protectiveness and chivalry.

"If it stops your face getting broken, or worse, then yes."

Malfoy growled.

"So if you heard someone saying vile things about me would you just stand there listening?" He asked sharply.

Hermione hesitated before shaking her head. No she wouldn't. She flushed. He'd gotten his lip split for her. It was all for her. Her heart was racing.

"So what do we do now?" She asked sweeping her hair back in frustration.

"There is no we Granger. He knows. If he finds out we're in contact in any way you will be in serious danger. Not even Dumbledore can protect you. My father has…ways."

"I'm not afraid." She replied strongly.

"You should be. I am." He said earnestly.

"Oh what a mess…budge over." Said Hermione.

Malfoy frowned at her but shuffled over awkwardly. He moved the murtlap bowl into to his lap.

She slipped into the space he'd created and sat at his side. She laid her head on his shoulder and inhaled deeply. She felt him tense but he soon relaxed beneath her. His jersey shirt was soft and smelled like him. This is all she'd wanted to do all night. His presence had calmed her uneasy nerves even though her heart was beating like crazy.

"I'm sorry it turned out like this. You should have been celebrating tonight. I was so proud of you when you caught that snitch you know. But I was even prouder when you asked for a rematch. I know it doesn't mean much but I just wanted you to know that."

Malfoy gazed down at her wild rose scented hair that was so close to his nose. He felt so warm and happy right now it was almost as if the fight with his father hadn't happened. It did mean a lot she was wrong.

"It isn't always easy to do the right thing. But we have to or we're just as bad as everyone else." She whispered tilting her chin up so their eyes met.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"I mean that if we listen to your father's threats we won't be doing the right thing. You're my friend and friends stick by each other no matter what." She said honestly.

Malfoy felt his face heat. He still wasn't used to hearing her call him friend.

"It's not that simple-"

"I know but we have to at least try. Not everyone thinks like your father. I…Ginny knows about you and she's ok with it."

Malfoy's eyes widened.

"Why did you tell her?"

"I didn't. She saw the initials on your scarf and figured it out. I only said we were studying together and that we'd become friends. Nothing else."

Malfoy smiled at Hermione's blush.

"Well I have to hand it to her pretty smart for a Weasley."

"Oh shut up, be nice."

"Well at least your friend is ok with it. Pansy was seriously pissed." He said with a grimace.

Hermione bit her lip guiltily.

"Sorry. That may have had something to do with me too."

Malfoy's eyes narrowed on Hermione's guilty expression.

"I was so worried about you and she just made me so mad. I wasn't thinking. She made a comment about someone like me being unable to buy a Slytherin scarf. And I reacted. I told her the truth, that you'd given me it."

Malfoy's eyes widened.

"Why did you do that?" He asked gently.

"Because I knew it would make her jealous."

Malfoy laughed and Hermione blushed shyly. It was good to hear him laugh again.

Malfoy had to admit he liked the thought of Hermione making Pansy jealous and he didn't fully understand why.

"Granger how very Slytherin of you. How did it make you feel?"

Hermione shook her head.

"Good for about a minute then I realised how stupid I'd been. She could tell your father and then you'd get hurt."

Malfoy shook his head.

"I get hurt anyway. You have nothing to do with it."

Hermione sighed and gently extracted Malfoy's injured hand form the bowl.

"I'm sorry. I wish using the time turner could fix this." She said gently rubbing her thumb across his wet, scabbed knuckles.

Everything had happened so publically there was no way he could use the time turner to change anything. Everyone would see there was two Malfoy's on that pitch.

"I'm not. I wouldn't change anything." He said.

Hermione frowned at him.

"But if you'd just accepted the win you wouldn't be hurting right now."

"But that wouldn't have been right. I made a choice for once and yeah it sort of fucked me over but I don't regret it. You wouldn't have been proud of me or smiled the way you did either if I had." He said honestly.

Hermione flushed as she felt his hand close over her fingers her thumb stilled over his knuckles as she looked at their loosely linked hands.

His hand was cold and damp from being in the murtlap but it felt like her fingers were pulsing and buzzing against his. She'd held Harry's hand like this and Ron's. It was a simple gesture of comfort and friendship. But this felt different and she thought he felt it too.

Malfoy relished the soft feeling of her warm gentle fingers in his throbbing hand. Her fingers were like the murtlap too. She was healing the wounds inside and out. He knew it was wrong but she made him feel better and he knew it was dangerous but he didn't want to let her go yet.

"If you didn't hit him then how –" She asked quietly.

"Oh that. I may have taken out my anger on a mirror. I just didn't want to look anymore. My eyes are the same as his you know."

Hermione sighed and she felt her heart sink in her chest. He did look like his father and that must kill him. She had no idea how much that must hurt to look in the mirror and see your own worst enemy. He didn't hate Harry, not really, she knew that now. Harry had the same problem. He looked so like his father. But where Harry was proud of his father and proud to look like him Draco wasn't. But he wasn't his father and he didn't look like him not really. She studied his face closely. Draco's bone structure was much more delicate than his father's and the pointed chin was all his mother's. His colouring was his father's hair, skin and eyes but their eyes although the same shade of grey were completely different. Draco's weren't cold they were warm, guarded and most importantly soulful. Her soulless comment came back to haunt her and she cringed. She'd been so stupid.

"No they aren't. You aren't your father. You're your own person. I wouldn't be friends with someone like your father."

Malfoy smiled at her words. She was trying to make him feel better and he really did appreciate it. Her rose scented head resting against his shoulder was also helping.

"Thanks Granger but you don't know what it's like to look in the mirror and see him staring back." He shuddered.

Hermione squeezed his hand gently.

"Well a mirror doesn't truly reflect a person. A person can only truly be reflected in someone else's eyes. Your eyes might be the same colour as his but that's all. Eyes are so much more than their colour don't you think? The same colour can have different facets. Warm or cool. Soulful or soulless. Soft or harsh -"

"And what about my eyes?" He asked gazing at her intently.

It was only now he truly realised how close their faces were. He watched the blush creep across her cheeks with a smile. Hermione's eyes were the warmest, gentlest most innocent eyes he'd ever seen. They were alight with intelligence and curiosity and kindness. He could get lost in their deep brown depths. Her eyes were so different from his. His were ice cold, grey and unfeeling like his father's.

"They're like you. Guarded and a little intimidating at first but once you look deeper they're warm, soulful and gentle."

Malfoy's eyes widened in surprise at her candid statement. She was an honest person she wouldn't lie but he just couldn't see how anyone, especially her, could see that in him.

"I don't see any of that when I look in the mirror."

"Well I do. Now shhhhh" She replied her voice barely above a whisper as she closed her eyes her head still leaning against his shoulder.

She was tired and he was exhausted. So much had happened in one day. He'd never been so physically and emotionally exhausted. She must trust him a lot to be so vulnerable with him. She trusted him to protect her and not to hurt her. That's what friends did after all. And she was his friend. He watched her dark, long lashes flicker. Her rosy lips parted as her breathing evened out. She was falling asleep…on him.

He'd never really been close to anyone like this before. His mother and father weren't exactly cuddly. It wasn't befitting of pureblood manners. Sure he'd did things with girls at those awful pureblood events he either got dragged to by his mother or that his mother hosted. But that was purely physical. It was mouths and tongues, lips and hands in dark corners. Nothing more. This was different and that little thought scared him more than anything. And what scared him more was that he didn't want to lose whatever this was.

He listened to her breath's evening out and it calmed him. It calmed his restless mind. He didn't want to fight anymore especially with himself. He was exhausted and he just wanted to let go of everything. He leant his head back against the couch and closed his eyes. They were stinging painfully and the couch embraced his weary head. He gently moved his arm and felt Hermione readjust herself so her head was lying across his chest. He felt his heartbeat quicken as she moulded to his side. He tentatively brought his arm around her shoulder and let his fingers curl around the soft ends of her hair. He'd never felt truly peaceful before but he presumed it felt something like this.

AN: I am so freaking sorry about the length of this. I wanted to cut it in two but then the second chapter would have been really choppy and random. Sorry. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing. You all make me smile. And special thanks if you made it through this monster chapter. Whoops.


	7. Shadow is the only friend that I have

**AN:** For some reason fanfiction isn't allowing me to reply to reviews at the moment but just know I read and appreciate every one of them. Thank you. You are all so kind and beautiful. For anyone wondering why I am not updating my AOT story it's because writing the political arc is making my brain ache.

This chapter I'm listening to Jason Walker – Echo.

 **Chapter 7 – Shadow is the only friend that I have.**

Hermione felt very warm and her bed covers felt odd. She shifted in her sleep to find her movement restricted by her clothes and an arm that wasn't her own. Why was she still in her clothes? Her stomach lurched as her eyes flew open. She stared at the unfamiliar ceiling that was not her dorm room. Her eyes darted around quickly going from the dying embers in the fireplace to the abandoned bowl of murtlap essence on the table. The strange events of yesterday came back to her in a rush.

She attempted to readjust her blanket but she was pinned against the couch by a pale arm that was resting above the blanket across her stomach. His long fingers were curled loosely against her side. She was enveloped by his warmth and his scent. She turned her head softly and she blushed. He was so close as he slept on his side only inches from her. His face was so peaceful that she couldn't help but just watch him for a few moments. His lashes flickered as he dreamt and she hoped that he was having good dreams.

He was so handsome even with the yellowing bruise blooming across his cheek. She noted his boyish face was becoming more angular and filling out. She noticed that the pinched, pointy face he'd had in first year wasn't the face she was looking at now. As she watched him at his most vulnerable she knew she didn't think of him as a bad person anymore. It was much more complex than good or bad and she was only just beginning to realise that. Draco had been told his entire life that people like her were dirty, an abomination upon wizarding society and that was wrong. But how could he know what was right if he'd never been taught? If he really thought that way then why would he hold her like this? Why would he want to be her friend? He had trust issues, rightly so, but for some reason he trusted her. The thought made her stomach knot. She swallowed thickly as she glanced at his swollen lip. Things were getting messy. And Hermione liked to keep things clear and concise at all times.

Hermione couldn't even remember falling asleep. But she clearly had and then Malfoy must have covered her in a blanket and fallen asleep too. She blushed as she felt his arm tighten around her in his sleep. So Malfoy was cuddly? She'd never imagined he would be. He was quite cool and distant when it came to showing physical affection. But then maybe that's because she wasn't someone he wanted to be physically affectionate with. No he wouldn't want that at all. Because in her heart even she knew this was wrong no matter how safe she felt in his arms. This wasn't safe this was dangerous. He could lose everything because of her. She should never have let this happen. She wondered if they'd come too far now to go back.

"You're thinking so loud you're keeping me awake."

Hermione jumped slightly as Malfoy's husky, sleepy voice broke the silence.

He was awake but his eyes were still closed and he made no attempts to remove his arm.

"What are you thinking about?" He muttered.

Hermione sighed.

"Nothing…just… everything. Did you really have to go and do something so wonderfully righteous yesterday?" She asked with a sad smile.

"No I didn't. But I heard your little bossy voice in my head and that was it."

Hermione turned to him sharply as her heart raced.

"What?"

Draco cracked one of his eyes open to find her deep brown eyes searching his in the dim light. They both lay on their sides now their faces and bodies only inches apart. Draco was enjoying the feel of her warm body underneath the blanket pressed up against him. He wondered how it would feel to hold her body in his arms without the blanket between them. He pushed that inappropriate thought to the back of his mind. Her eyes seemed to see right through the cunning web of protection that he wove around himself and that was completely terrifying.

"I heard your voice in my head when those dementors came."

A frown creased Hermione's brow and a flush coloured her cheeks.

"It wasn't my voice Draco. It was your conscience."

Draco felt a strange flip flop sensation in his lower stomach hearing her say his name. He shook his head trying to shake the odd feeling away but it didn't budge it just smouldered quietly there in his abdomen.

"It wasn't. I know what I heard. It was you. If it was my conscience then it sounded an awful lot like you. I'd know that haughty, know it all voice anyw – ow."

Hermione shoved his chest playfully causing him to press into the back of the couch.

He gave her a crooked teasing smile.

"Since when do you call me Draco?" He asked quietly. His smile widened as he watched Hermione's blush deepen.

"Since now, friends usually call each other by their names." Said Hermione her voice wavering slightly.

Draco nodded.

"Ok, Hermione." He said sounding out every syllable of her name on his tongue and finding he rather enjoyed the sensation.

Hermione groaned and rolled onto her back.

"Do you always have to make everything so difficult?"

Draco laughed at her annoyance and the fact her cheeks were still glowing red.

"Yes. You'd get bored otherwise. You live to be challenged don't deny it. So stop complaining because you've finally got a friend who can keep up with you intellectually." He said with a shrug.

Hermione sat up on the couch and shoved the blankets and his arm from her unceremoniously. His thinly veiled dig at Harry and Ron essentially calling them stupid made her temper flare. But he had called her his friend too that was the first time he'd acknowledged it openly and it had made her stomach flip. He always made her feel so confused, it was something that had never happened to Hermione before him and the feeling unsettled her. She'd always been so sure of herself before, so sure she knew everything but now she wasn't sure she knew anything at all. Everything had always been so straight forward and logical before him. He was making everything messy and complicated. But the thought of losing him to go back to straight forward made her realise she didn't want straight forward any more. She wanted this instead even though she still wasn't entirely sure what this was.

"Ugh I thought I'd seen the last of arrogant Malfoy, apparently not. I thought you said we couldn't be friends anyway." She said heatedly as she stood from the couch.

"Annnnd we're back to Malfoy. I changed my mind. It's completely stupid and dangerous for us to be friends but the fact is I've never had a friend before. Not a real one. And I'd like to keep you even although I know that's ridiculously selfish of me. But old habits die hard Granger."

Hermione flushed. She searched his eyes for any hint of dishonesty and found no trace, only truth and vulnerability. But Malfoy was popular; he was always surrounded by his little gang of Slytherins. He wanted to keep her. Her heart thumped as she reheard his words in her head. He'd really wanted to say that he didn't want to lose her, she knew that, but he hadn't wanted to sound so pathetic and needy. She didn't want to lose him either she didn't care if that complicated things.

"But you have loads of friends."

Draco sat up on the couch and looked at the cross armed confused Hermione that stood above him. Her hair was all messy from sleeping and he had to admit bed head looked good on Granger. He shook his head.

"Not real friends. You'll make your real friends in Slytherin? What a load of bollocks. Everyone that you think is my friend only talks to me because they're afraid of my father or want to use me for a business transaction. Honestly part of the reason I h-dislike Potter so much is that he has friends, real ones, and I don't. And maybe it's because I don't deserve real friends-"

"Draco-"

"I'm not a nice person Hermione. I get jealous. I'm selfish and spiteful. I don't know how to be myself with people or how to be friends with them. My parents are completely crazy. I don't know why anyone would-wmm"

Hermione had pressed her three fingers against his warm lips. Her pinkie and thumb rested beneath his jaw. She felt the scab on his bottom lip catch beneath her index finger. It was so rough compared to the rest of the skin on his lips that was so warm and smooth. Good he'd stopped talking. She didn't want to hear anymore. She'd even take arrogant Draco over this. Because this Draco was vulnerable and so horribly breakable that he made her heart ache.

Draco was lonely. He had no one to talk to, no one but her. How odd that out of everyone in the whole school he'd choose to confide in her. She was the only one that wouldn't judge him, the only one that would understand. The only one who didn't see him as some Pureblood Prince or as some disgusting excuse for a human being. She didn't see him for anything more or less than what he really was. As her gentle fingers pressed against his mouth and her dark eyes lit with compassion he realised it was only when he was with her that he didn't feel so horribly lost and alone.

Hermione realised in that moment how truly lonely Draco really was. She at least had the boys and her parents. But even with all those people that she loved and that loved her in her life she felt lonely too. In her childhood she struggled to make friends and had been teased for her bookishness. Not much had changed. Harry and Ron were her best friends and she was so lucky to have them but there were things about her they didn't understand. When she would get all excited about something they learned in class the boys would both zone out and give each other amused looks and roll their eyes at her. She supposed it was only fair since she zoned out whenever they talked about quidditch. But with Draco she didn't feel alone. He understood her. His mind was like hers. She didn't ever need to zone out with him. The boy that she'd thought had everything had nothing. She gazed into his hesitant grey eyes and gave voice to the tentative feelings she felt in her heart because she knew that he needed to hear them even more than she needed to say them.

"I'm not afraid of your father. You aren't a business transaction. And you do deserve real friends. Yes you do get jealous and sometimes you are selfish but you're human. We all have weaknesses. I like you the way you are, so whether you think you deserve it or not you do have a real friend."

Hermione dropped her fingers from Draco's mouth as she felt his lips part beneath them. He was unabashedly staring at her and Hermione had never felt her heart pound like it did in that moment. Couldn't he hear it?

She liked him. The way he was. She didn't care that he was all fucked up and broken she wanted him to be her friend anyway. Draco Malfoy was rarely rendered speechless but he was finding himself increasingly lost for words in her presence. His father's chilling voice circled around his head. "The little mudblood might get hurt." No. He wouldn't let his father take her away from him. He'd taken everything else from him but not her. She wasn't like the muggle books, they couldn't hide her away from him. She was too bright, too strong and too proud to let them contain her.

Hermione glanced at her watch in the awkward silence to avoid his beguiling silver eyes. 6am. 6am?! No that couldn't be right. She'd stayed out all night. With him. Oh no no no. It was a Sunday thankfully but still.

"Do you know what time it is?!" exclaimed Hermione desperately.

She crouched on the floor collecting the abandoned invisibility cloak.

"6. There's a giant clock right behind you." He said coolly.

Hermione whirled round and groaned.

"You knew what time it was and you didn't say anything?!"

Malfoy smiled.

"Maybe. What's the big deal?" He asked as he stretched his arms over his head casually.

"The big deal is what if someone was looking for you or for me? They'd find out we were both missing and then –"

"Would you just calm down for a second?" He asked with a small smile.

Hermione took a deep breath and calmed slightly.

"Good. Right. We'll use the cloak. I'll go back to my dorm. You go back to yours. It's Sunday no one will be awake for hours. We'll be fine." He said reassuringly as he stood next to her.

Hermione nodded as she wordlessly threw the cloak over them both and they made their way back into the corridors. It was freezing and Hermione desperately wished they could turn back and lie down on the warm sofa again together. She flushed. No. That couldn't happen again. Stupid sleep deprived thoughts. The sun was just rising bathing the corridors in pale yellow light. They'd almost made it to the dungeons when they rounded the corner and almost crashed straight into Snape and Dumbledore.

Hermione stumbled and Draco caught her arm instinctively pressing her flush against the wall to steady her. He felt Snape's cloak brush against the edges of the invisibility cloak and he froze completely. Fuck. He gazed into Hermione's eyes that were wide with fear. Their faces were close together and barely an inch of space existed between their bodies.

"The entire thing had Miss Granger all over it. Draco would never have acted that way had it not been for her influence. I was wrong to doubt you. But even you have to admit that a month ago the idea seemed ridiculous."

Draco and Hermione frowned they were talking about them. Hermione's eyes flicked from his to behind his shoulder as her eyes widened further.

He could see her. Dumbledore could see them. She gasped and Draco pressed his hand against her mouth to stifle it. Dumbledore's piercing blue eyes were looking right at her. How? The cloak was invisible and Snape looked none the wiser. Hermione's head was swimming with confusion not at all helped by Draco's proximity to her. His firm, warm body was pressed up against her and it made her feel strange. Her entire body was reverberating like a just plucked string on a violin. She could feel him more sensitively than she could feel anyone else. It was odd like their bodies were specifically tuned to react to each other's. She swallowed thickly as her eyes flicked back to Malfoy's.

"Yes it did Severus. But now I see that we really had no reason to doubt them." Said Dumbledore with a pointed wink and a smile at Hermione as he guided Severus up towards his office.

Draco exhaled in relief his body sagging so that his soft hair brushed against the sensitive skin at Hermione's neck.

"That was close."

"He saw us. Dumbledore. He looked right through this cloak and right at me."

Malfoy laughed.

"You're imagining it."

"No! I swear he winked at me and –"

"Wow I know sometimes girls are into older guys but come on, Dumbledore?-"

"Would you stop it I'm being serious!" She said as she distanced herself from him as they began to walk to Draco's dorm.

"Well look if he did see us he would've at the very least got us detentions with Snape and McGonagall. "

"Not if covering for us helps his plan too. You heard them talking about us. Something's going on. They're hiding something from us. And I intend to find out what."

"You're not going to drop this are you? We didn't hear enough of what they were saying so there's no way you could find out what's going on." He said matter of factly.

Hermione rolled her eyes and groaned.

"How can you be so cool knowing that Dumbledore and Snape have involved us in something we know nothing about?"

"People keep secrets for a reason Hermione." He said meaningfully.

Hermione bit her lip as she pondered his words. Was he right?

They halted outside the Slytherin common room.

"Get some sleep. Goodnight Hermione. Or good morning I suppose." He said with a gentle smile.

She nodded feeling her cheeks flush. She still wasn't used to him calling her name.

"Well, back into the snake pit." He said with a grimace.

Hermione smiled.

"You'll be fine. They'll forgive you. If the rematch goes ahead you get the chance to win again. If it doesn't the win stands."

Malfoy nodded. She was right. They looked at each other for a moment and Hermione's heart raced as she thought his grey eyes flicked to her mouth briefly.

"Bye." She said breathlessly as she pulled the cloak from over Draco and turned on her heel.

He watched the empty corridor listening to her distant footsteps fade in the silence. He discreetly lifted his shirt to his nose as he stepped into the common room. It smelled like her. It smelled of old parchment, lavender and roses. He smiled and felt that oddly familiar warmth spread across his chest that happened whenever he thought of Hermione.

Hermione crept through the portrait hole ignoring the disgruntled fat lady who gave her a questioning look. She froze. Harry's vivid green eyes were watching her from the arm chair in the corner. He was still in his pyjamas. He didn't look angry he just looked at her with a slight hint of disappointment which made Hermione's intestines writhe guiltily. She'd lied to her best friend and now it was time to confess, she only hoped he had it in his heart to understand. She felt sick.

Hermione walked over to the armchair and sat on the armrest. She passed the cloak to Harry wordlessly. She didn't know what to say.

"When did you start lying to me Hermione?" He asked.

His eyes were sharp on her face.

Hermione sighed.

"I never wanted to keep secrets from you Harry you're my best friend."

Harry glared at her.

"Were you with him?" He asked his voice barely above a whisper.

Hermione flinched. If she claimed innocence of who 'he' was Harry would only get angrier. So he did know about Malfoy, except he didn't. Well not the truth anyway. She swallowed thickly. Denying it now would only make this worse at this point.

"Yes. But Harry let me explain-"

"How can you do it Hermione? He's vile."

Hermione took Harry's hand and squeezed it lightly. Harry's hands were so different from his. Harry's were comfortingly familiar and didn't make her feel strange. He didn't squeeze her hand back like he would have normally.

"Harry trust me a month ago I thought the same thing. But once you get to know him he's different. If you'd just let me explain-"

Harry shook his head.

"I don't trust him."

"But I do. And you trust me don't you?"

Harry's eyes widened and he nodded begrudgingly.

"I don't like this." He said shaking his head.

"I know." She said sadly.

He at least wasn't mad at her but this sad disappointed Harry made her feel even worse.

"You've changed Hermione. You would never have kept secrets from me before."

Hermione blushed had she changed? She had to admit over the past month she had started to feel a little different but it wasn't anything she could pinpoint in particular. She just felt a little more confident in herself that was all.

"You keep secrets from me too Harry don't deny it."

Harry stiffened slightly and loosened his hand from her grip.

Hermione smiled sadly. She knew he was keeping things to himself. Harry always had a tendency to do that until the weight of the thoughts in his mind almost crushed him and he finally sought out Hermione and Ron's advice. He'd always been that way. Draco was like that too. They were more similar than they realised. Perhaps it came from having a solitary, neglectful childhood. They had never had anyone to talk to before so they just bottled everything up inside.

"You weren't the only one that had a rough day yesterday Harry. Draco needed me too." She said shyly.

Harry narrowed his eyes.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He asked sharply.

Hermione cringed at the venom in his voice.

"Draco and I-"

"Draco?!" He asked his nose wrinkled in disgust.

Hermione felt her face heat further.

"Yes, Draco. At the beginning of the year Dumbledore asked me to tutor him in muggle studies and I agreed. That's all there is to it. I was worried about him after yesterday so I checked up on him. It was after curfew so I borrowed your cloak Harry. Sorry. Dumbledore told me to keep our lessons secret and judging by your reaction I can see why." She whispered.

"Well I'm sorry but it's Malfoy. How did you expect this to go? What sort of lessons need you to be with _him_ all night?" He asked incredulously.

Harry didn't truly believe Hermione capable of doing anything…unsavoury with Draco Malfoy but then he hadn't believed she would ever lie to him either.

Hermione blushed at how far from innocent the truth sounded.

"It's not like that. He's lonely Harry he just talks to me that's all."

"Lonely? Don't humanise him Hermione he's just like his father-"

"Don't say that about him." She said warningly her entire body taught with tension and anger.

How dare he say that?! Harry didn't know Draco. Not like she did. She suddenly understood his predicament when his father had slandered her in front of him. She was overcome with an overwhelming need to defend his honour even if that meant hurting her best friend.

Harry's eyes widened in genuine shock.

"Why are you defending him? All he knows how to do is hurt and use people."

Hermione felt a crushing sensation in her chest and she felt tears fill her eyes.

Harry looked apologetic but it was too late. He felt immensely guilty as he watched fat tears roll down her cheeks from her deep brown eyes.

"That hurt Harry. Do you think I'd let myself be used by anyone? You know you two really aren't so different if you'd just -"

Harry's anger flared his apology forgotten.

"Don't finish that sentence Hermione. We're nothing alike alright."

He said standing up and running a hand through his messy black hair in agitation.

"You know Harry you're right. You aren't alike. He never made me cry. Not once."

Harry's eyes widened at her words as she turned from him.

"I won't tell Ron about…what you said. It's not my place." He said gently.

Hermione nodded gratefully without facing him and fled to her dorm.

She lay on her bed still clothed. She could hear Lavender's light snores as her tears soaked into her pillow. She'd just had her first fight with her best friend. She and Ron bickered sometimes but she and Harry had always remained on good terms. But now it was as if what had once been so simple seemed terribly complex. Please forgive me Harry she thought guiltily.

Hermione woke up to find the rest of her roommates beds empty and the sun streaming in the windows. She glanced at her watch. It was 11am. She almost jumped from her bed causing Crookshanks, who had been resting at her feet, to slide off the bed unceremoniously. With a flash of his amber eyes and a wave of his bottlebrush tail he was gone. She silently hoped last night had all been some sort of crazy dream. She frowned as she caught the scent of spearmint and green apples and something else spicy that was just distinctively Malfoy from the Gryffindor jumper she'd fallen asleep in. She blushed. It hadn't been a dream.

She had hoped that part had been real. But then that also made her ensuing fight with Harry very real. She felt ill. She'd just been so mad at him for speaking about Draco like that. But then why shouldn't he? Up until last year Draco had been simply awful to her Harry and Ron. But things were different now. If only he knew what Draco was really like. She should've just held her tongue and let him vent which he had every right to. But she couldn't Malfoy had been right about that. She couldn't just sit there and listen to him spouting lies about him. She groaned this was such a mess.

She sighed as she made her bed. Ok be logical Hermione. She tried to look at the situation from Harry's point of view. He'd just found out that his best friend had lied to him all semester. Had just stolen his invisibility cloak and spent the night with his arch enemy. Hermione blushed and cringed inwardly. When she put it like that, no wonder Harry had reacted the way he had.

She wondered how Draco was doing down in the snake pit. She blushed and shook her head. She shouldn't be thinking of him now. Right now she had to work on repairing her friendship with Harry and hoping that Ron would take her news better than Harry had, but she very much doubted that. Her stomach rumbled. She was starving even though her stomach was knotted with guilt and worry. She swung her legs over the side of the bed and began to get ready to face the day. There was no point hiding no matter how much she wanted to.

Hermione entered the great hall at lunch time with her hair still wet from her shower. She muttered a quick drying spell and roughly piled her unruly hair into a bun as she sat at the fairly empty Gryffindor table. It was still early for lunch. She noticed Ginny further down the table helping herself to a sandwich whilst chatting animatedly with Fred and George. If ever trouble came in the form of a trio it would be them thought Hermione with a smile. She moved over to sit across from them and was greeted by an enthusiastic wave from Ginny and a wink from the twins. She flushed and rolled her eyes at them.

"I thought you'd gone down to Hagrid's with the boys?" Asked Ginny.

Hermione tensed. Oh. So Harry really was mad at her. Just great.

"No. I have too much homework to catch up on." She lied quickly.

Ginny simply nodded but Fred narrowed his eyes at her. Big mistake to lie in front of the two expert liars of Hogwarts.

"Well we'll leave you two ladies to it." Said Fred meaningfully as he and George swept out of the entrance hall their red heads bobbing together perfectly in sync. They were probably off forming some mischevious plan no doubt.

She glanced across at the Slytherin table. He wasn't there. She caught Pansy's eye and found her icy blue glare aimed at her. She quickly turned her attention back to Ginny who was frowning concernedly.

"Hermione are you alright."

Hermione shook her head.

"No. Me and Harry had a fight this morning." She said shakily tears filling her eyes at the memory.

Ginny's frown deepened and she put down the sandwich she was eating.

"But you and Harry never fight. What happened?" She asked.

Hermione picked at the dough in her sandwich as she told Ginny everything. She was making a mess and showcasing awful table manners. Draco would tease her for something like this. She almost smiled but then her smile was replaced with hurt. Would she ever be able to have both Harry and Draco in her life?

"What an arse!" Exclaimed Ginny passionately.

Hermione's eyes widened in surprise. She'd never heard Ginny speak ill of Harry before.

"It was my fault too Ginny I just got so mad. Harry was quite right to react the way he did."

Ginny shook her head.

"Yes he had every right to be mad at Malfoy because he doesn't know him like you. But you're best friends there was no need for him to insult you like that. You deserve an apology. It was a lot to take in but he'll come round."

Hermione squeezed Ginny's hand gratefully.

"Thanks Ginny but I sort of egged him on and I did lie to him. I just saw red when he said all that stuff about Draco. I deserve his anger for a little while at least I suppose."

Ginny raised her brow and gave her a smile worthy of one of the twins schemes. Hermione shuffled in her seat uncomfortably.

"Oh so it's Draco now is it? So tell me Hermione since you spent the night with him are the rumours true?"

Hermione flushed.

"What are you talking about?" She asked innocently.

Ginny grinned at Hermione's blush.

"About Malfoy's y'know…wand." She said suggestively.

Hermione felt her face heat and her mouth dropped open.

"What?" She asked incredulously.

"Well I heard some Slytherin girls chatting in potions and they said Malfoy's rather…erm well endowed in that area so to speak."

"Ginny how would I possibly know that? And how did a group of thirteen year old girls know about… _that_?" She asked awkwardly.

Ginny shrugged.

"I don't know they said they overheard some fifth year girls talking about him. Really? So nothing happened between you? What did you do _all_ night?" She asked with a rather disappointed pout.

Hermione shook her head. Some girls talked about weird things sometimes. She was glad she wasn't one of them. She enjoyed potions too much to want to talk about anything else during that class especially male anatomy of all things. She was surprised Snape had let those girls chat long enough for Ginny to hear what she had.

"We just talk Ginny. That's all. It's nice."

Ginny frowned.

Hermione took a sip of her pumpkin juice as she thought of his shy smile and guarded eyes.

"Have you ever spoken with someone that you've just been able to understand without even saying very much at all? I mean Harry and Ron they're like my brothers. I love them so much but I've never had this with them. His mind Ginny, it's just like mine and sometimes I feel like we don't even have to speak at all not really. He just…knows. It's strange. " She said gazing off into space.

Ginny's frown deepened but her grin widened.

"Can't say that I have. You must really like him." She said in astonishment.

Hermione flushed self consciously.

"I do Ginny. I just wish Harry could see him the way I do." She said with a sigh.

Ginny laughed.

"I'm not sure you'd want that."

Hermione frowned.

"Why not?"

Ginny shook her head.

"Never mind. They'll get along in the end. They have no choice if they both want to keep you." She said matter of factly.

Draco's voice filled her head. 'I want to keep you.' She blushed remembering the intensity in his beautiful grey eyes in that moment.

Hermione nodded.

"Thanks Ginny. You really are so smart in a completely terrifying way. Like if the twins decided to be good students."

Ginny laughed and Hermione joined her feeling so much lighter than she had all morning. She hugged her and went up to the library to finish her homework. She felt Pansy's eyes on her but she kept her head held high.

Draco Malfoy stood under the shower head letting the water scald his pale skin making it flush pink. He felt like he was shedding his old skin and becoming someone new. It felt terrifying but good too. It was after lunch and he was starving. He pulled on a black tshirt and some black jeans his mother hated. He grinned as he heard her prim voice in his head. "They're far too scruffy Draco you almost look like one of… _them_." He would gladly be one of them over being himself.

He entered the common room and Zabini and Goyle said a subdued 'hi' to him. Well at least they were speaking to him again. Pansy still wasn't looking at him and Daphne Greengrass' eyes flicked quickly between Pansy and himself before settling back on the book in her lap. Draco sighed. Pansy liked to stew which annoyed him greatly. She was annoying and he didn't love her in the way he was supposed to. But beneath all her pureblood aristocracy she was just like him and he felt sorry for her. She too felt the pressure of her position and the crippling insecurity that came with it. The pressure on her was even worse because she was a girl. This sucked. He definitely wasn't ready to deal with this yet. He needed food. He glanced at his watch 3pm. Shit. Too early for dinner. Too late for lunch. Perfect.

For the first time in his life he briefly thought about how great it would be being a Hufflepuff. He'd heard they were often able to sneak snacks from the kitchen. Even the infamous Weasley twins were rumoured to know how to get into the kitchens. In that moment he found himself simultaneously wishing he was a hufflepuff or a Weasley. He shuddered what was he becoming? Someone very unlike his father that's who. He took a steadying breath. That could only be a good thing.

Malfoy was walking to the great hall to see if there was anything at all he could scrounge when the same small brown owl that had carried messages to Hermione the previous evening dropped two letters that bounced right off his forehead. He scowled at the owl who almost seemed to hoot in laughter as it flew back to the owlery. Well he deserved that he supposed he had been a little short the other night. One was from his father he scrunched the letter into his pocket. He'd deal with that later. He glanced at the other note in his hand feeling his heart beat quicken. Was it from Hermione? He tried to ignore the feeling of disappointment that spread through him as he gazed at the unfamiliar spidery scrawl. It wasn't her. His eyes widened as he looked at the name signed on the bottom. Ginny Weasley?! He quickly let his eyes skim over the note.

"Malfoy,

Harry found out about everything. He's really not happy with Hermione and I don't think they're speaking. She was pretty upset at lunch but maybe she'd feel better talking to you about it. Just thought you should know. Hermione's very good at putting a brave face on things you know how she is.

Ginny Weasley."

He re-read the note over again just to make sure he'd understood. Ginny trusted him with this information. He might not particularly like the Weasley's but Ginny was at least courteous enough to write him this note. She had Hermione's best interests at heart. She was a good friend to her. The same couldn't be said for Potter. He scrunched up the note in his hand feeling anger flow through his veins. It was one thing for Harry to be mad at him but he didn't need to take out his anger on Hermione. None of this was her fault.

Harry was an arsehole he was supposed to be Hermione's best friend. He'd upset her. Hermione had accepted Harry knowing he came with a lot of baggage because she was a truly selfless non judgemental person. She deserved the same respect from Harry. She'd accepted him too despite everything. He supposed he'd made her upset too before all of this. But that was different. That was before he'd known her before he'd been her friend. Harry should know better. Malfoy's eyes flickered out across the grounds and he saw Harry and Ron leaving Hagrid's hut. He felt barely supressed anger pulse through his veins. He knew he shouldn't. He knew that Hermione would get mad at him. But Potter had hurt her because of him. He felt guilt and anger bubble up from deep within. Before he knew what he was doing he was walking into the damp, chilly air to meet them.

Draco was taking long strides to greet them and they'd barely made it out of the overgrown pumpkin patches filled with ripe orange pumpkins soon to be on display at next week's Halloween feast before their eyes met his.

"Malfoy." Said Harry his eyes narrowing and his jaw clenching.

Malfoy nodded his head towards him.

"We need to talk." He said trying to remain calm. He kept trying to think of Hermione's smile and gentle eyes when he felt the anger rising at being in Potter's presence. It helped a little.

Harry frowned as Ron looked between them with a confused vacant expression.

"I don't think we do." Said Harry walking around him with Ron following blindly behind.

"No. I don't think so." He said grabbing him by the shoulder and halting any further movement.

Harry spun around anger clear in his flushed face.

"Look Potter I don't like you and you don't like me. Fine. But don't get mad at Hermione." He said meaningfully.

Harry brushed Malfoy's hand off roughly.

"That's none of your business Malfoy." He said venomously.

Malfoy rolled his eyes and sighed. He didn't even have the desire to fight with Potter right now. It would only make things worse for Hermione.

"Look just for two seconds put all this shit between us to the side alright. Think about Hermione. You're her best friend but you're doing a pretty awful job of that at the moment. Apologise to her that's all I'm asking."

Harry's face softened slightly and a deep frown creased his brow.

"Why should I do anything you say? And why do you care about Hermione?"

Malfoy groaned and swept an agitated hand through his hair.

"Bloody hell Potter you're infuriating. I'm only telling you this because she's too nice to say it and thankfully I don't have that problem. You're being a selfish arse right now and frankly you don't deserve a friend like Hermione."

Harry physically recoiled form Malfoy's words. And Ron had a look of disgust mixed with being hit with a confundus charm.

"I don't deserve her as a friend?! That's rich coming from you. What are you doing with Hermione?" He replied angrily.

Malfoy had to admit that had stung. Deep down in the hollows of his ribcage where he buried all of his insecurities. What was he doing? He had absolutely no idea. But he knew he never wanted to hurt her.

"That's none of your business Potter but we have something in common. We might hate each other but neither of us want Granger hurt alright."

Harry's eyes widened at Malfoy's surprisingly honest heartfelt statement.

Malfoy sighed and turned from them. Well that was pointless but he had to try.

"I don't know what you're planning with her Malfoy but if you hurt her I swear I'll-"

Malfoy tensed his fists at his side and turned to him.

"Feeling's mutual Potter."

Harry's eyes widened but he made no retort.

He left Potter and Weasley standing in the light rain which had become heavy by the time he'd made it back to the castle. He should've been freezing as he hadn't worn a jacket or his cloak. But his blood boiled despite the chill. Bloody Potter. Why did she have to be friends with him?! He smiled sadly as he realised that if he were Hermione and he had to choose between himself and Potter to stay friends with even he would pick Potter and he greatly disliked the guy. He rubbed at his hollow chest as his t-shirt clung to his damp, cold skin. His self hatred ran even deeper than his dislike of Potter ever could. He was an arse but hopefully he'd use that underused brain of his and apologise to Hermione sooner rather than later. Ginny was right Hermione put a brave face on things but he knew she'd be hurting. He wanted to see her but that was probably a bad idea considering.

Hermione hadn't gone down to dinner. She didn't feel like speaking to anyone, well anyone except Malfoy. How funny that he was one of the only people she trusted and felt like talking to these days. Hermione sighed as she shut the arithmancy textbook she was reading in the common room with a thud. Even she couldn't concentrate right now. Harry and Ron entered the room they were both soaking wet and even Harry's messy black hair was plastered neatly against his forehead. He stared at her hesitantly as if wanting to say something but choosing not to. Ron's eyes were darting between them suspiciously. Did he know? But Harry had promised her he wouldn't tell him?

Crookshanks suddenly leapt from her lap and began to chase after Scabbers who Ron had laid on the armrest of the chair by the fire. Ron picked up Scabbers and placed him in his top pocket as Crookshanks swatted at the now empty space with a fuzzy orange paw.

"Hermione keep him under control!" Shouted Ron angrily as he checked Scabbers was ok before he scowled at Hermione.

Hermione rushed after Crookshanks and picked him up holding him to her chest despite his incessant squirming.

"Sorry." She said quietly. She didn't have the heart to argue or fight with Ron. Harry wasn't speaking to her and she didn't want to fight with Ron too.

Ron gave her a quick nod but said nothing. They stared at one another awkwardly with Ron firmly standing between the two looking just as uncomfortable as they both felt. She didn't have anything left to say and it looked like Harry didn't either. Hermione would leave she'd been the one to mess everything up anyway. She sighed and left the two boys standing in the common room. There was nothing more she could do she'd apologised. But Harry was still mad at her. And until he wasn't there was nothing to be done.

She held Crookshanks close to her. He seemed to know she needed him as he stopped squirming and clung closer to her. Hermione walked aimlessly past the great hall hearing snippets of gossip and conversation as she walked past. She glimpsed Lavender and Parvati deep in conversation and she groaned she really didn't want to see them right now. She ducked behind a wall and waited for them to pass.

"I heard Malfoy hit Harry." Said Parvati

"No I heard it the other way round. I wonder what they were fighting about." Said Lavender.

"Quidditch match probably I heard they aren't being allowed to replay."

"You don't think it's something else?"

"Like what?" Asked Parvati.

"Oh come on Hermione wearing that Slytherin scarf. You don't think her and Malfoy are…you know." She said suggestively.

Parvati giggled.

"That's ridiculous Lav. I mean he's gorgeous of course but his family would never let him be with someone like Hermione."

Lav hummed in agreement.

"Yeah you're right plus Hermione is hardly the type of girl someone like Draco Malfoy would go for." Said Lavender with a laugh.

Hermione watched them walk away giggling. She swallowed the lump in her throat and blinked away the sting in her eyes. They were right of course. It was ridiculous and completely untrue. But then why did it hurt so much? Crookshanks burrowed into her armpit as she swept away quickly. She needed air. She climbed to the astronomy tower and sat on the cold steps. She watched the pale half moon rise in the murky purple sky.

"Well looks like it's just you and me for a while Crooks." She whispered quietly pressing her face towards his soft fur and letting a few tears escape from her eyes.

Malfoy had been summoned to Dumbledore's office and as he muttered the password at the bottom of the staircase he felt his heart race. This couldn't be good. He fought to contain his surprise when upon entering he saw both McGonagall and Snape standing at either side of Dumbledore's desk. Dumbledore motioned for Malfoy to sit and he did.

"That was a very brave and decent thing you did yesterday Mr Malfoy." Dumbledore began with a warm smile.

Malfoy's mouth opened in surprise and he found that he wanted to look anywhere but into his twinkly blue eyes. He should mumble a thankyou but his voice seemed to have crept down into his shoes. He nodded instead.

"As you are aware we did request a replay on your behalf but unfortunately I am sorry to say this has been overruled as Harry is now unfortunately broom less and until I set up better protections against the dementors I fear I must postpone ant further quidditch games."

Malfoy nodded again. He was disappointed but he had expected this.

"I understand."

"You must take 30 house points for your quick thinking and sportsmanship."

Malfoy felt his face burn as McGonagall gave him a very gentle soft look. This was just plain weird.

"Thankyou but really I didn't do anything-"

"It takes great courage to do what is right." Said Dumbledore meaningfully.

Malfoy could feel Snape's black eyes boring into his skull. It felt so strange speaking with Dumbledore like this. His father despised the man and it made him feel good to hear praise from one of his father's enemies.

"I trust everything is going well with your study sessions with Miss Granger?"

Draco genuinely wanted the floor to swallow him whole right now. He rarely felt uneasy or self conscious in situations like these. But at the mention of Hermione all of these feelings burst forth.

He saw Snape turn to look at Dumbledore sharply.

Malfoy nodded knowing that he was blushing and wanting to kick himself for being so pathetic.

"Excellent. Well off you go. What a fabulous night for stargazers don't you think?" Said Dumbledore with a meaningful tilt of his head. Malfoy frowned. Dumbledore was the craziest person he'd ever met he knew that for certain. He nodded and gratefully left the room exhaling a long breath he hadn't been aware he'd been holding.

Malfoy was absolutely famished but as he made his way to the great hall he glanced out of the windows into the darkness. The night sky was clear and the moon cast a pale, lonely light over the grounds. It really was a good night for stargazing. How odd. He glanced up at the astronomy tower and felt a strange tugging sensation from his chest and somewhere just behind his navel. He should go up there. He didn't know why. But it was a feeling that spread through his body and made his feet carry him past the tempting smells of food and up towards the lonely tower. And in that lonely tower he found a lonely girl whose dignified tears were illuminated by star light.

Hermione knew who was currently moving to sit beside her on the stairs without even needing to look up. She could just sense his presence. As he sat beside her she inhaled the scent of spearmint and green apples. She didn't bother to hide her tears from him. Not now. She'd seen him at his most vulnerable and now he was seeing her. She didn't want to hide herself away from him anymore and that thought was terrifying yet liberating. They didn't say a word. Crookshanks broke the silence with a disgruntled mewl as he leapt from her lap to his. She watched in stunned silence as Crookshanks leant into Malfoy's touch as he scratched behind his ears. Draco smiled softly as the orange fuzz ball began to purr.

"He normally isn't so friendly." She whispered quietly.

Malfoy shrugged. He felt his heart sink slightly as he saw how wet her eyes were and her blotchy pink cheeks. She'd been crying for a while. And her usually confident voice was thick with emotion and shook slightly.

"Neither am I but we both make an exception for you." He said with a crooked smile.

Hermione felt a blush tint her cheeks and the ghost of a smile touched her lips.

"Harry and I fell out. He caught me coming back to the common room this morning."

Malfoy nodded.

"I know."

Hermione frowned. How did he know?

"Well I mean I know you two aren't speaking that's all. Ginny was worried about you so she wrote me a note."

Hermione felt irritation grow inside her. She had no right to do that. Malfoy laughed and Hermione glared at him through her tears.

"Don't get angry at Ginny. She was only trying to help you because she knew you would never ask for help on your own. You're so stubborn. You don't have to face everything alone you know." He said gently.

Hermione groaned.

"You're a real hypocrite. You go through everything on your own! Whenever I offer my help you just push me away so don't start." She said hotly.

Malfoy's crooked smile was melting away her sadness and simultaneously infuriating her.

"I know but I'm trying. I'm just not used to this. I promise I won't push you away anymore, even though I know I should."

Hermione's head snapped around to look him in the eye. His lashes were lowered and his pale face tinted pink slightly in the soft moonlight.

Malfoy noticed she'd stopped crying but her last tears still clung to her thick matted lashes. He hesitantly wiped the last tear from her cool cheek with a swipe of his thumb. She flushed and he smiled as he felt the increasingly familiar buzzing sensation that sparked from her skin touching his.

"Good. Don't cry anymore." He said softly.

"Why?" She asked quietly.

Her face was close to his and he could see each of her pretty freckles, each of her tear stained lashes. He wanted to tell her it was because he wanted her to be happy. He didn't want her to hurt like this. But his mouth wouldn't let him say what he felt in his heart. He already felt too exposed beneath her gaze.

"Because you look really ugly with snot all over your face." He said with a tentative grin.

Hermione's eyes widened and she found her mouth forming into a grin. She laughed. It felt good. She wiped her face with her sleeve quickly soaking in the warmth of his presence. She felt better than she had all day. All because of him.

"Thanks." She said with a sarcastic eye roll.

"You're very welcome."

"How's life back in the snake pit?" She asked grateful for a change in topic.

"Well some people aren't ignoring me anymore so that's progress I guess. And unfortunately they aren't giving us a rematch so the win stands. They'll be back to kissing my arse by morning. Back to normal, just great. Best make the most of moody Pansy before she becomes clingy again when she finds out."

Hermione laughed again and he rejoiced in the sound and in the fact that she looked much more herself.

"Must be exhausting fighting off the affections of all the girls in the school." She said dryly.

Malfoy frowned.

"Not _all_ the girls."

Hermione gave him a pointed look. What did that mean?

"I hear all the gossip you know just because I choose to ignore it doesn't mean I don't hear it. I don't find talking about boys particularly interesting but some girls do. Certain parts of boys get discussed…at great length by certain girls."

Malfoy laughed at Hermione's awkward blush and her cryptic, well chosen words.

"Oh _that_. Unfortunately I can confirm the rumours are completely untrue."

Hermione's eyes widened.

"I honestly don't know who started that one I've never been daft enough to flash my privates to any of the hogwart's girls. I normally wouldn't deny a rumour like that but since it's you I'll be honest."

Hermione burst out laughing and pushed him gently causing a disgruntled Crookshanks to leap from his lap.

"That's disgusting." She said as she wrinkled her nose.

Malfoy laughed.

"Hey I didn't start the rumour. And you heard that from one of your friends so your friends are the disgusting ones not me."

Hermione shook her head. Unbelieveable. She pondered his words. So Malfoy wasn't as much of a lothario as the rumours made out. Well he'd specified Hogwart's girls so maybe he had his romances with ladies from other schools…or boys? She honestly had no idea. Or why she even cared. That was his own personal business.

They sat in silence for a few moments as they watched Crookshanks stalk off.

"I spoke to Potter today."

Hermione looked at him sharply.

"Don't worry we played nice."

Hermione physically relaxed.

"Why?" She asked.

"I felt…bad. The only reason he's mad at you is because of me so-"

"That's not true."

Malfoy looked at her evenly.

"Of course it is. He's mad that his best friend is hanging around someone like me. He cares about you Hermione. People like me…they hurt people like you."

Hermione sighed. This again. It always came back to this.

"You won't hurt me Draco." She said with a gentle smile.

Draco ran a hand through his hair as he felt his shoulders tense.

"How can you be so sure?" He asked.

"Because I trust you." She said simply.

Malfoy swallowed thickly.

"I don't think that's very smart." He replied shakily.

Hermione rolled her eyes.

"I'll be the judge of that."

Hermione loosely gripped his hand in hers. She felt the jolt of electricity pass from his pale warm fingers to her cold ones.

"Thanks." She said awkwardly.

Malfoy frowned as he kept his eyes on their loosely linked hands. His father had always told him mudblood girls fingers were filthy and he should never go near them. But Hermione's fingers were soft and beautiful. Delicate yet lightly callloused from holding her quill. Her fingers were perfect. This was yet more proof of his father's bullshit statements. Her hands fitted so well in his that it couldn't be wrong could it?

"What for?" He asked.

"For being a good friend." She said softly as she leant her head against his shoulder.

It felt like Draco's chest was expanding at her kind words. Hermione's cold body pressed against his side. She was cold. He wondered how long she'd been here. He hesitantly took his hand from hers and put his arm around her. He was surprised when she leant into his touch. It was wrong that it felt right to hold her like this. Her body fitted nicely against his. His skin pulsed beneath hers as his warmth transferred to hers. He instinctively rubbed small circles against the top of her shoulder with his thumb.

"You're freezing. How long have you been here?"

Hermione shook her head against him.

"I don't know." She replied.

"Come on let's go get warm. And get some food. I'm starving and I bet you haven't eaten anything either." He said gently.

Hermione smiled and nodded as he stood up slowly and extended his hand to her.

"I'm going to dream up a banquet fit for the both of us."

Hermione smiled as she took his hand thrilling in the way only he seemed to be able to make her feel. Suddenly her fight with Harry seemed so insignificant. She looked at their loosely twined fingers in moonlight. In that moment anything seemed possible even this.

AN: Sorry this was so fillery. Next chapter we have the Hogsmeade trip. Exciting!


	8. Climbing Up The Walls With You

This chapter I'm listening to The Naked and Famous – Hearts Like Ours

Thankyou so much for your lovely reviews. To elizabethrose1974, Viveen and Kathryin you are all beautiful people for your kind words. Please feel free to follow review etc. I appreciate criticism too so don't be scared to write me a line I promise I won't get offended. I so love hearing from you all.

 **Chapter 8 – Climbing Up The Walls With You.**

It was the night of the Halloween feast and winter wasn't far off you could feel it in the air as people fastened their cloaks around themselves that little bit tighter on their way to the great hall. The hall was decked out with its usual splendid carved pumpkin display. Draco had slipped away from the festivities grateful to be given some breathing space from a very clingy Pansy. He waited on Hermione in the room of requirement and he jumped a little as he was pulled from his thoughts by the slamming of the door as she entered.

Draco tried to resist smiling. The little witch looked cute when she was angry all flushed and wild haired with that adorable little crease above her pretty nose. He didn't want to direct her ire towards him so he bit his lip to contain his smile.

"Knut for your thoughts?" He asked as he leant against the desk.

Hermione groaned and sat in the space next to him on the desk letting her legs swing agitatedly back and forth. Hermione sighed her face softening slightly as she watched him. She knew she could tell him anything and he would give his honest opinion.

"Ok let's say for example you have two friends and at the moment those two friends aren't really speaking. One of the friends can't go to Hogsmeade. So do you go with the friend who can go to Hogsmeade? Or do you stay back with your other friend?"

Malfoy deliberated for a moment then he stood in front of her facing her.

"Let me guess Weasley chose to stay behind with Potter?"

Hermione sighed and shook her head

"He asked me to decide. He doesn't want to let either of us down. I hate putting Ron in the middle like this I feel just awful. I can tell he really wants to stay with Harry. I don't want to hurt Harry and if we were speaking I'd suggest all three of us stay behind but as it is…"

Malfoy rolled his eyes and pushed his hair back form his face. Bloody Gryffindor's with their pride and unwavering loyalty. Slytherin's never normally had these types of problems.

"You shouldn't feel awful for anything. You didn't do anything wrong. Potter should make up with you then there wouldn't be a problem. What do you want to do?" He asked.

Hermione smiled at Malfoy's words but then grimaced.

"Well I only have three options; 1) Go with Ron knowing it'll make Harry feel awful. 2) Ask Ron to stay with Harry and go to Hogsmeade alone. 3) Stay behind alone. None of those options seem terribly tempting."

Malfoy shook his head. He didn't understand Hermione for wanting to save Potter's feelings. Thinking of the relationship she had with Harry was becoming increasingly irritating to him. They were so close and it was evident to anyone how much love and respect they had for each other. He and Hermione could never have that. Thinking about them was making him feel angry so he stopped. She deserved to enjoy Hogsmeade for herself. Hermione was always eager to help a friend but she rarely did anything for herself. An idea struck him. A terrifyingly stupid idea. But an idea nonetheless.

"There is a fourth option." He said with a cock of his eyebrow.

Hermione's frown deepened. She'd thought out all her options extensively. There were only three. She was sure of it.

"I'm all ears." She said with a genuinely intrigued expression on her face.

A smile crept across her lips as she watched Draco flex his pale fingers at his sides. He was nervous. It was an emotion Draco didn't normally show and one he hid well but Hermione could tell he was. His cockiness from only a moment before had melted into thinly veiled insecurity.

"You could go with me…if you want."

Hermione's eyes widened and a shocked laugh rippled through her. He couldn't be serious? Hermione watched the slight flicker of his grey eyes and the shy flush on his cheeks. Oh. He was serious. And she'd just been insanely rude and hurt his pride.

"Sorry. I was just…surprised. You're…serious?" She asked gently.

Malfoy nodded hesitantly.

"Well I was until you laughed at me." He replied with a slightly hurt look on his face.

Hermione fought to keep the smile from her face. Whenever he got embarrassed he became such a petulant spoiled brat. It was sort of cute in a way. Even someone as outwardly confident as Draco was just as insecure, if not more, as everyone else despite all his heirs and graces. And that made her like him even more.

Hermione leapt off the desk and brushed his bicep lightly with her hand in an attempt to comfort him. She felt the now familiar yet still astonishing feeling of what happened every time she touched him. She let the feeling travel from her fingertips until it pumped through her entire body like the blood in her veins. His eyes met hers hesitantly.

"Don't be like that. I just didn't expect you to ask me that that's all." She said with a soft smile.

Malfoy frowned as he felt jealousy and hurt begin to throb deep within him. The feel of her gentle fingers on his arm was making him feel even more conflicted.

"Why not? Friends go to Hogsmeade together." He said.

Hermione nodded.

"Yes but you're…different." She said quietly.

"I don't want to be different."

"But you are." She said gently.

They were different. The world they lived in dictated that they shouldn't talk and shouldn't be getting along. But they were and now what they were going to do about it?

"So it's ok to go with Weasley but not with me?" He asked defensively.

Hermione shook her head completely at a loss for words. What was going on here? He was acting so strangely. Hermione thought she detected a hint of jealousy in his voice but she shook her head. Why would he be jealous?

"Why are you being like this?" She asked.

"Like what?" He asked increasing the distance between them.

"You're being all defensive. If I didn't know better I'd think you were jealous."

"I am jealous." He admitted.

Draco Malfoy was not used to people refusing him. Most people went out of their way to appease Draco's every whim. His mother, Pansy, his fellow Slytherins but Hermione was different. She didn't appease him or pander to him which he was grateful for. However her dismissal and rejection of his offer cut him deeper than he cared to admit. The Weasley's were one of the poorest wizarding families at Hogwarts. He'd teased them about it before, goaded by his father of course, he wasn't proud of it. But it had come back to bite him because Ron Weasley was the richest boy at Hogwarts. He got to be with Hermione whenever he wanted. Something he could never do no matter how many galleons he had.

Hermione gasped in disbelief and stood her ground in front of him. Jealous of what? Before she could ask he'd cut her off.

"Well what will it be then; 1,2,3 or 4?"

Hermione's eyes widened. So 4 was still an option. She felt her heart flutter excitedly.

"Theoretically speaking if I picked option 4 how would it work? People would see us. There'd be nowhere to hide, your father he'd know. I don't want you to get hurt again."

Malfoy gazed at her intensely a strange expression on his face that made her heart beat faster.

"Theoretically speaking we could figure something out. We're both smart enough to come up with something"

Hermione bit her lip as an internal war waged between her heart and mind.

"Do you trust me?" He asked.

Hermione hesitated but nodded.

"Good. Look it was just an idea if you don't want to go with me-"

"No I do. I really do want to go with you." She whispered.

How strange that he hadn't known he'd wanted to hear those words until she'd said them. His stomach did a somersault and his heart pounded in his chest. She wanted to go with him over the Weasel. Hermione's face was flushed and her warm eyes were filled with equal amounts of hope and apprehension.

"We'll work something out. It's settled then." He said softly.

Hermione smiled hesitantly. Draco Malfoy always seemed to get exactly what he wanted and in this case Hermione Granger was more than happy to let him have this one.

Malfoy knocked on Professor Snape's door. His stomach was churning and he could feel panic rising up to the pulse in his throat. He swallowed the panic down as he wiped the cool sweat from his brow with a shaking hand. Snape opened the door and with a brief hint of surprise he let him in and asked him to take a seat. They sat in silence for a few moments as Snape conjured himself a drink and Draco some pumpkin juice.

Draco twiddled his fingers around the stem of his goblet distractedly. His heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest.

"You're nervous Draco." Said Snape narrowing his black eyes on Draco's fidgeting fingers.

Draco swallowed and met his eyes. He took a deep breath and let the words he'd been dreading tumble from his mouth.

"Sir, I want to take Hermione Granger to Hogsmeade and you need to help me do it. Please."

Snape momentarily coughed on his drink whilst staring at Draco as if he'd seen a ghost. He fought to keep the smile from his thin lips as he continued o stare at the boy he had known for so long. He was becoming less child and more man now and over the past few months he'd seen a change him greater than any physical change. He knew now for certain that Draco Malfoy was experiencing a change of heart because of Hermione Granger. Good. Draco like him only had one hope of redemption; the pure heart of a good, kind and completely selfless person. And it looked like Draco had found his person. Snape had heard the prophecy about them but he hadn't dared to believe or hope that it would be possible until this moment. Of course he would help. The fate of the magical world depended on it. And on a personal level he felt satisfied in hoping he would be able to correct a past wrong that he could never forgive himself for.

Hogsmeade day had dawned. Hermione watched the groups of students huddled in the corridor as they followed McGonagall out beyond the grounds to catch the train. She gave Ron a small smile as he and Harry walked up to the common room. They'd all agreed to stay behind. Hermione was 'going to the library to catch up on homework'. Hermione felt her stomach writhe uneasily. She was lying again. She pulled her coat around herself tighter as the bitter cold seeped into her bones. The first snowfall of the year had bathed the castle in pure white brilliance. She waited beside the One eyed witch statue and Malfoy walked towards Hermione in the now deserted corridor.

She felt her breath catch. He was striding towards her in his black winter coat, black fitted jeans and a rather fetching hat. It was a grey beanie and she had to admit he looked good; well he always looked good but different good. He looked casual and dare she say very handsome. This was actually happening. She hadn't actually believed he'd show up from the cryptic explanations he'd given her for two weeks that ranged from "It's all under control" to "Granger can you just for one second trust me and stop asking questions? Meet me at the One eyed witch statue and I'll handle the rest."

She smiled as he approached her. Butterflies erupted in her stomach as he flicked the purple pom pom on her hat playfully.

"You look surprised. Didn't think I'd stand you up did you?"

Hermione shrugged.

"Thought about it." She said shyly.

"You should have more faith in me Hermione." He replied with a smirk.

Hermione flushed and sighed.

"Alright so how are we getting to Hogsmeade Draco?" She asked impatiently.

Malfoy laughed lightly.

"You really hate me knowing something you don't, don't you?"

Hermione scowled and Malfoy laughed because he loved it when he knew exactly what she was thinking and how much that annoyed her.

Malfoy muttered 'Dissendium' and Hermione sprung backwards slightly moving closer to Draco as the witches hump on the statue sank away.

Malfoy watched her closely as she moved from his side to inspect the statue. Her look of awed wonder made his heart leap. She looked so pretty today, beautiful even. All wrapped up in her plaid grey coat, his favourite jeans and cute brown combat boots. He was glad that he got to spend today with her. He didn't want to spend it with anyone else, just her.

"How did you do that?" Asked Hermione in genuine amazement as she gazed around open mouthed at the small slide that now descended into the secret passage below.

"Are you impressed?" He asked with a quirk of his brow and a smirk.

Hermione blushed and felt her heart flutter again. The feelings were becoming more frequent and intense when she was around him.

Hermione nodded.

"A little. How did you find out about this passage? It isn't anywhere in _Hogwart's: A History_ , in any of the editions."

Malfoy smiled at her typically Hermione statement.

"There are some things you can't learn from books Granger. Not much, but some things."

Hermione felt her face heat at his words. And she felt her stomach drop in the way it had been doing when she was with him. She liked when he called her Hermione but she also liked when he called her Granger too. He was the only one that did and the way he said it now wasn't mean like before. It was teasing and affectionate almost.

"Ladies first." He said gesturing to the passage.

Hermione nodded and gasped as she remembered how these words had been spoken between them on the first day of term. So much had changed since then. He had changed. She had changed. Or perhaps neither of them really had changed at all they just weren't blinded by prejudice anymore. She was going to Hogsmeade with Draco Malfoy. How odd, and yet how completely not odd at all.

"Hey, stop thinking for a few hours will you? I asked you to go with me so you'd give that brain of yours a rest for a bit and have some fun." He said with a smile.

Hermione nodded and she glanced side ways at Malfoy. She knew that he'd really invited her because he didn't want her to be sad anymore about Harry. And perhaps even because he'd wanted to go with her. She blushed, no that was just silly.

She slid down the small chute and marvelled at the cool, ancient passage she now found herself in. She wondered how many people knew about this place. Perhaps like the room of requirement only those in need of it could find it. She didn't know. She heard Malfoy's walk towards her.

"Wow." She said as she gazed around at the stone work coated in years of secrecy and cobwebs.

"Pretty cool right?" He said smiling at her.

Hermione smiled as they walked in step beside each other their footsteps echoing in the silence.

"How _did_ you find out about this?" She asked.

Malfoy's smirk widened.

"I have my sources."

Hermione huffed in annoyance and Draco laughed.

"You know if it wasn't so much fun knowing something you don't I would probably tell you."

Hermione sighed.

"You're mean." She said teasingly.

Draco could tell from her smile that she didn't truly mean it.

"I used to be. You're turning me soft." He said honestly.

Hermione's mouth opened and she stopped walking for a moment to stare at him. He meant it. He was softer somehow. She'd noticed. His eyes were warmer, his voice was gentler but she hadn't thought she'd had anything to do with that.

"Come on it'll take about an hour to get to Hogsmeade. But not if you stand still." He said gazing back at her with a confused frown.

She nodded a shy smile on her lips as she went back to his side.

An hour passed quickly. Even when they weren't speaking silences were never really awkward between them. Perhaps because they weren't silences, not really. Hermione and Draco didn't always need words to communicate. It was strange but oddly comforting too. Hermione began to hear footsteps and chatter up ahead. She glanced up through the grating way above their heads. She saw student's feet and heard their laughter.

"What's up there?" She whispered.

"Honeyduke's. Come on." He motioned to her as he opened up a small door to the side.

They were in the Honeyduke's store room. It was a treasure trove stocked from floor to ceiling with delectable chocolate, sugar quills, fizzing whisbees…anything any witch or wizard could possibly want to eat.

"What do you want? My treat." He said with a gentle smile.

Hermione frowned and shook her head.

"We can't. That'd be stealing." She whispered with an indignant frown.

His smile widened Granger really was too wholesome for this world.

"I may be many things but I'm not a thief." He said producing gold galleons from his wallet.

Hermione felt extreme affection for Draco Malfoy in that moment. He wasn't perfect, far from it, but underneath it all he was a very decent person she was slowly beginning to realise that.

Hermione pointed up towards the highest peak of confectionary where sugar quills peeked out.

Malfoy groaned.

"You like making things difficult for me don't you?"

Hermione laughed. She gasped as she watched Malfoy attempt to scale the mountain of sweets. He would really do that for her?

"You're going to kill yourself. Accio Sugar Quills." She uttered with a flourish of her wand.

It was Malfoy's turn to be in awe. He watched open mouthed as a small bundle of sugar quill packages flew neatly into her open hand.

"What?" She asked self consciously as Draco's silver eyes bored into hers.

"You can do summoning charms already? But those aren't till 4th year." He said his voice genuinely filled with fascination and respect.

He watched her blush and shrug modestly.

"I like to keep ahead."

"I know. That was really cool. Think you could teach me?"

Hermione's brows rose in surprise. The way he was looking at her as if she had just landed a perfect double somersault was making her extremely nervous. Her heart was beating so fast it sounded like one long continuous beat.

"Alright." She replied shakily.

After only twenty minutes of practising Malfoy almost had it. Hermione was very impressed. He really was a very talented wizard.

"Almost. Just slightly tilt your wrist a bit more." She said stepping behind him and guiding his wand arm with her hand.

She heard his intake of breath as their hands brushed the feeling was more than magic. It ran deeper. It felt even deeper than their veins and corporeal bodies. They watched in silence as bars of Honeyduke's chocolate floated down rather unsteadily at Malfoy's feet. She gently released his hand and watched with a proud smile as he did it on his own.

Draco gazed at her his eyes full of admiration. She wanted to look away but she couldn't.

"You really are amazing you know." He said.

Hermione shook her head quickly as she felt her face heat.

"No I'm not. It's just a charm anyone can learn with enough determination and focus-"

"Yes you are. When I think about the things my father says about muggle borns, the things…I used to say. It's all bullshit. So don't get all shy about how talented you really are Hermione and don't believe anyone that tells you you aren't brilliant because they're just jealous." He said quietly.

Hermione watched him feeling her heart swell. Her whole life she'd felt different and like she didn't quite fit in. But Draco he understood her. He liked her just the way she was. He wasn't threatened or undermined by the fact she knew something he didn't. He wasn't threatened by her independent will, her talent, her strength. She never felt she had to prove herself to him she could be vulnerable with him. He was being so kind to her and so candid about his own insecurities that it made her heart ache. Over the past few weeks she'd found herself forgetting about the fact that Draco was a pureblood and she wasn't. It just didn't seem to matter anymore to him if it ever had.

"You really mean that?" She asked shyly.

Malfoy nodded as he tucked the two bars of chocolate he'd just summoned under his arm.

"I do."

Hermione bestowed upon him one of her most beautiful smiles. The rarest kind that illuminated her entire being until it glowed. And he knew then that before long all of the hollow places within himself would be filled up by her.

Draco left far too many galleons for what they had taken on one of the smaller piles of confectionary as they moved further down the passage. It was becoming narrower and nearing its end. She wondered how many people would want to be with Draco right now for his money or for his looks. That thought made her feel quite ill. He was rich and handsome of course but she never paid either of those facts any mind.

"What's up?" He asked as he passed her a square of chocolate.

She thanked him as she popped the square of chocolate in her mouth. It was the same kind as the day he'd been in hospital. It must be his favourite. She hesitated before asking him what she wanted to know.

"Is it easy to tell when someone just wants to know you for your money or your name? It must be really horrible. I don't think I'd be able to trust to anyone if I were in your position." She asked hesitantly.

Draco's eyes widened slightly at her question and the sympathetic look in her eyes.

"It's easy to tell. Well, maybe not for someone like you." He said with a chuckle.

Hermione gave him an offended look as she offered him a sugar quill which he took.

"Someone like me?" She asked defensively.

"Someone who would never lie in order to hurt someone. Someone who would never do anything for their own personal gain. Someone who isn't remotely interested in anything money or reputation can buy. Someone who always tries to see the best in people. See you Hermione are entirely unlike me or anyone I know. " He answered.

Hermione flushed. She felt oddly naïve in his presence even though she was the older of the two by some months. There were things she couldn't learn about in books he was right about that. Things like the darkest depths of human nature; lust, greed and power. She got the feeling Draco had first hand experience of all of these things and she most definitely had not.

"Draco. You're not a bad person you wouldn't do those things either."

He shook his head slowly.

"You're just saying that because you're trying to see the best in me." He replied with a sad smile.

"Maybe I am. But is that such a bad thing? Don't get me wrong in the two months we've really known each other you've shown me you can be spoiled, jealous, pompous, endlessly irritating – "

"That's the best you see in me? Can't wait to hear the worst." He said sarcastically but Hermione heard a slight bitter edge to his words.

"Would you let me finish?" She asked shortly as they came closer to voices and chatter once more.

They were in a cellar now, probably of the Three Broomsticks she'd heard Fred and George talking about it.

Malfoy nodded slowly.

"But you've also shown me you can be incredibly understanding, intelligent, caring, brave just and loyal. You've taken on a Hippogriff and your father. That's pretty heroic if you ask me." She said with a gentle smile.

Draco Malfoy proceeded to blush profusely and Hermione had honestly never found a sight quite as adorable in her life. Draco Malfoy who was so cool and collected looked thoroughly like any other awkward schoolboy in that moment. And for the first time Hermione was unnerved by a strange compulsion to kiss him. Not on the cheek but on the mouth. She felt herself flush as he they continued to gaze at one another. She gasped as her head snapped towards the footsteps coming down the stairs to their left. She grabbed Malfoy's hand and they ducked behind the corner.

Malfoy was pressed flush against the wall by Hermione as she pressed against him. His heart was racing from the moment they had shared and the fear of being caught. Hermione's brown eyes met his hesitantly before her black lashes lowered once more. She was so close and his head was full of her scent and her words. They listened neither daring to move a muscle until the footsteps faded away. Even when he knew the coast was clear he was almost hoping she would stay like this with him for a few more moments. Her soft, warm, delicate body felt good against him and he was compelled by a strange urge to pull her closer to him. She gently parted from him and he sighed at the absence of her contact.

Hermione walked over to the crate the person had brought down. She grabbed a couple of bottles called butterbeer and inspected them. They looked like ordinary brown beer bottles but the liquid inside was golden and frothy. And the bottles were warm to the touch. The glass warmed her cold hands.

"Have you had one before?" He asked her.

Hermione frowned but shook her head.

Malfoy smiled.

"It's not bad. I prefer Firewhisky but I make do with whatever I can scrounge at my mother's awful parties."

Hermione laughed at Malfoy's disgusted face.

"What's so awful about these parties?" She asked.

"Everything. The Manor is filled with pompous old purebloods and their spoiled children, all just like me. The grown ups get drunk and try and pair off their children to the highest bidder and invite each other to yet more boring pureblood parties. You'd _love_ it." He said with a sarcastic roll of his eyes.

Hermione wrinkled her nose.

"That's vile."

Malfoy nodded in agreement as he opened two bottles of butterbeer and handed one to her.

He clinked his bottle against hers.

"Cheers to that." He said as he took a sip.

Hermione hesitantly raised the bottle to her lips. It was warm and rich with a slight hint of spice and sweetness. The warmth spread over her tongue, down her throat and down in to her belly. It seemed to be warming her from the inside out.

"Wow." She said as she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

It was delicious.

Malfoy watched her with a crooked smile. Her cheeks flushed and her lips plumped as she drank. It was literally quite intoxicating.

"Have you ever drank alcohol before?" He asked.

Hermione grinned and rolled her eyes at him.

"I'm not that innocent Draco. I've had champagne and wine on special occasions just never magical alcohol."

Draco's smile widened. But she was innocent no amount of champagne she consumed could change that. Hermione was an enigma she was a dedicated rule follower but she wasn't averse to breaking them if the situation called for it either. She could be a rebel if she had a cause and that was a very intriguing thought. She was here with him after all wasn't she?

"Champagne's not bad. We have some vineyards at our villa in France."

Hermione's eyes widened.

"You have a villa in France? Where?!" She asked.

Draco laughed at her sudden enthusiasm and the intriguing light in her chocolate eyes.

"Oh so you are interested in what money can buy after all eh?" He said teasingly.

Hermione laughed.

"Oh shut up. I just didn't know that's all. I went to France this summer with my parents. I loved it."

"Where did you go?" He asked.

"We went to Dijon camping and we went to the beach in Marseilles too."

"Very nice. I've never seen much of muggle France. Our place is in a remote wizarding community in Bordeaux. Although I spend a lot of time in Cannes and Monaco so mother can go shopping of course. Honestly why do girls shop so much? Surely they can't need _that_ many clothes? " He said with a grimace.

Hermione laughed.

"Not all girls like shopping. I hate it. Unless you mean shops like Flourish and Blotts."

Draco smiled at her warmly.

"I wasn't including you in my awfully sexist, sweeping generalisation of women kind. I know you're different."

He watched a shy smile break across her rosy lips. She was different in the best possible way.

Malfoy nodded and made to leave some galleons on the crate of butterbeer but Hermione dipped into her own pocket and placed her money down before he could. He frowned.

"If you pay for everything it means this was a date." She said pushing his hand away gently.

Malfoy laughed.

"If that's the case then I've had a lot of dates with Crabbe and Goyle. Trust me girls know if I'm on a date with them." He said with raised brows.

Hermione burst out laughing and grabbed his hand urging him onwards.

"How would I know if we were on a date?

They began to walk away and her hand was still wrapped around his. They were holding hands. He flushed was this a date? His heart raced at the thought. It scared him but it felt right too.

"I don't know if your innocent mind wants me to answer that question." He said with a coy smile.

Hermione blushed fiercely and dropped her hand from his crossing her arms over her chest nervously.

"Oh." She said with an awkward smile.

Hermione suddenly felt very self conscious. Of course he didn't see her like that why would he?

He may have been imagining it but he thought he saw a brief flicker of disappointment flicker across her face. He shook his head maybe this impulsive Hogsmeade trip was a bad idea after all.

The passage came to an end and Draco led Hermione to a staircase and he pushed the hatch on the roof open. He hauled himself up and reached a hand down to help Hermione to her feet as they stood in the cold, long abandoned Shrieking Shack.

"Where are we?" She asked.

"Shrieking Shack." He replied.

He shuddered thinking of his father's cruel words that he had spoken in here after the match. He didn't want to linger here. He glanced at Hermione and was surprised to find her shrinking closer to him a scared look in her eyes.

"Don't tell me you're afraid of ghosts?" He asked with a laugh.

"No. But I don't like the feeling of this place at all."

"Then let's go." He said offering her his hand and leading her through the door.

"But we'll be outside, people will see."

Malfoy shook his head.

"No one will want to come near this place and even if they did they definitely won't today. I told you I have everything under control."

Malfoy had been surprised by how eager Snape was to help him plan all of this discreetly. He's set wards around the shack so no one would see them. They'd be safe until dusk. He had no idea why Snape was helping him or why he wasn't telling his father but he would be eternally in his debt. He couldn't thank him enough.

Hermione narrowed her eyes suspiciously but followed him outside. She gazed around the perfectly snow covered town from the top of the steps outside. The air was cool and crisp. The sky was thick and white with snow clouds. Snow was on the way. It was beautiful. She could hear students laughing down in the town. She sighed contentedly. It was perfect.

She loved snow. It made everything pure again and erased all that had come before. A fresh start. Just like her and Draco. She glanced towards him at her side and found his eyes were already on her. She blushed despite the cold. New beginnings were exciting. Hogwarts had led her to a world that she felt she truly belonged in. And she felt that Malfoy belonged there too. He was meant to be with her here and now. It wasn't a fact it was a feeling. Hermione didn't trust anything based on something other than fact. But for some reason she trusted this and him.

Hermione smiled as they sat on a rather comfortable bench with the shack behind them and a perfect view of the town in front. Malfoy was right no one was around. They were completely alone.

"Did you really plan all of this?" She asked sceptically as she pulled another butter beer and a pumpkin pasty from the hamper that had magically appeared beside them.

Malfoy laughed.

"Why do you sound so surprised all the time? Did you really think I'd ask to take you to Hogsmeade so you could have a really awful time?"

Hermione laughed and shook her head.

"No. But this took a lot of planning. What I mean to say is thankyou it was very thoughtful and the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me." She said clinking her bottle against his.

Malfoy's eyes widened. He would definitely have to thank Snape later for setting all of this up.

"It was nothing. Really?"

Hermione nodded and smiled.

"Really. It's so beautiful here. Me and my parents went to the Cairngorms once when I was little and it was just like this. I love spending winter days outside and then going inside when it's dark to get warm again." She said with a grin.

Draco smiled. He loved that too. The way that hot cup of cocoa would taste all the better for having spent all day in the cold. Feeling the tingles of warmth spread through your fingertips. He noticed Hermione's nose was a little red from the cold. It was very cute like everything else about her.

"I love that too. On Christmas Eve my mother always drags me to this awful veela ballet. Well I mean the veela are pretty good but the actual dancing…no so much. But when we get home in from the cold she makes the most amazing cocoa. Then we sit by the fire and we each open one present. I honestly don't know what she does to make it taste so good… Sorry are you cold? We can go-"

"No I want to stay for a little longer." She said with a shake of her head.

Hermione felt a happy smile cross her face at Malfoy's words. She liked it when he spoke about himself. He was normally so closed off. She was so glad Malfoy's mother at least seemed to love and care for him in the way a parent should. It sounded like they were close. She was glad he had known some love in his otherwise lonely life.

"Your Christmas Eve sounds nice." She said softly.

Draco nodded.

"What's yours like?" He asked.

Hermione blushed.

"Well usually I help my dad make Trifle and all the food preparations for the next day. Mum isn't allowed in the kitchen after the numerous burnt offerings that happen when she's left in charge. Trust me I love my mum and she's amazing but her cooking is awful. We head to church and when we come home we have warm egg nog and listen to Charles Dicken's _A Christmas Carol_ on radio 4 as we open our presents. Most times we end up staying up till late and waking up early to go our Christmas walk and place a wreath on my grandparent's grave– sorry I must be boring you." She said awkwardly.

He wasn't bored. How could she ever think that she was boring? Hermione could never bore him. He could listen to her all day. If only she could teach instead of Professor Binns he thought absently. Hermione looked so happy as she talked about her home. She loved her parents and they loved her. He was envious he had to admit. It sounded lovely. Normal. He would give anything to have a little of what she had.

"You're not boring me. I like hearing you talk about yourself. You don't do it much. They sound nice. Your parents." He said gently.

Hermione nodded shyly. She really wasn't very interesting she didn't get why he liked listening to her. She liked hearing him talk about himself too. She wanted to hear more.

"They are. Draco...what's your mother like?" She asked hesitantly.

Draco smiled. He'd never met anyone who wanted to know so much about him.

"My mother is so glamorous that I've never seen her hair down or without red lipstick on. She's smart and artistic but also incredibly opinionated and snooty. She's not perfect but I love my mother and she loves me. She isn't like my father she would never hurt me. She used to be stronger though but he's taken her strength from her. He likes weakness because it makes him feel more powerful...it's pathetic. I know he hurts her and that he goes off shagging tons of other pureblood women. And she knows. She knows he hurts me, that he hates me too. Yet she still stays with him. It just makes me so mad. But I don't blame her. She's scared of him too so she stays."

Hermione swallowed the lump of emotion that had formed in her throat. Oh. So that's how it was. Hermione's anger flared. She had no idea that's what he was living with. Poor Draco. His poor mother too. Draco had every right to be angry but he still didn't blame his mother. Draco was surprisingly sensitive to other people's feelings and mature for his age. He didn't wallow in self pity at his situation or blame anyone for his circumstances. He kept all of his pain locked away inside. He didn't need to lock it away with her she wanted him to know that. But she knew he also didn't want her pity. She had to tread carefully.

"I'm sorry Draco. I didn't know. Couldn't she, couldn't you both run away?" She asked hesitantly.

Malfoy smiled bitterly.

"Another disgusting aspect of Pureblood etiquette, if you hadn't already guessed, is that if you're a woman you have absolutely no power. You think I get a raw deal; at least I'm a boy. Pureblood women are pursued and sold off to the highest bidder simple. Once the pureblood male claims their prize and the woman produces a male heir that's it. If my mother left my father she would have nothing. No money. No name. She'd be disgraced and outcast and so would I. We'd have nowhere to go. One of her sister's is crazy, cruel and in Azkaban. She's worse than my father, trust me. And her other sister well…she probably wouldn't speak to us since she got cut out of the family. So she stays because we have no other choice."

Hermione took Draco's hand in hers. She laced their fingers together saying nothing. It felt wonderful as their numb fingers regained feeling in the other's hand. She didn't say anything right away. She couldn't quite believe what he'd told her. She had no idea being a pureblood there were so many disgusting, archaic practices. She shuddered. She felt Draco's hand squeeze hers lightly. Draco's eyes were on their intertwined hands. Fingers that should never be joined but that undoubtedly were. She held on to the way his hand felt in hers. It seemed to make everything seem so insignificant. All that bad stuff seemed so far away. She rubbed his knuckles with her thumb gently. She would never get over how good and how different holding his hand felt.

"You'll have a choice Draco. One day you'll be strong enough and old enough and then you and your mother can be free. I know it seems so impossible now but I think now more than ever impossible things can become possible." She whispered.

Draco glanced from their interwoven fingers to her compassionate eyes. This was real. It felt so wonderful. She made him feel like he was normal. She had shown him what it could be like and now he wanted more. She made everything seem possible.

"What if I make the wrong choice? What if I end up like him?" He asked.

Hermione's heart sank at the sound of fear in his voice.

"You won't." She said her voice certain.

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because you don't call me a know it all for nothing. I just know. I know you. The real you. And that's why I'm so sure."

He kept holding her hand and he didn't say anything more. He didn't have to. They sat and watched the sky darken together.

Hermione glanced down at the lake to the side of the shack. It was completely frozen over. Perfect for skating on. She missed skating. Suddenly an old Joni Mitchell song her mother used to listen to came into her head. _I wish I had a river I could skate away on_. She wished Draco had a river he could skate away on to be free from this. She glanced at him an idea coming to her. Would he even entertain it?

"That ice is perfect for skating on." She said longingly.

Draco laughed.

"Oh no. Don't tell me you like that. All those sequins really?" He said with a grin.

Hermione was surprised he even knew about a muggle sport.

"Don't look so surprised. Some of us purebloods know some muggle things. This girl I met at one of my mother's parties was obsessed with this Russian male skater. I even asked her if she could teach me how to skate."

"And did she?" Asked Hermione intrigued.

Draco shook his head and smiled shyly.

"No. She erm, decided to teach me something else instead."

Hermione shoved Draco playfully.

"Ew." She said wrinkling her nose.

Draco shrugged and laughed.

"Is it my fault I'm irresistible?" He said with a charming smile.

Hermione rolled her eyes ignoring the fact her stomach was doing triple toe loops. He was but she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of admitting that. She felt so inexperienced and stupid when she spoke to him. She wondered how many girls he'd…no. It didn't matter. That was his personal business. As his friend it shouldn't affect her. She wouldn't care if Harry and Ron went off snogging girls. But when she thought of Draco it was different. She pushed the thought to the back of her mind.

"Thankfully I'm immune to your charms. Come on let's go skating before your head gets too big and throws you off balance." She said teasingly.

Malfoy laughed.

"How can we skate with no skates?" He asked.

"Give me your gloves." She said.

He gave her his gloves that were in his coat pocket and she removed her own mittens from her pocket too.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"You forget I'm amazing."

Malfoy rolled his eyes.

"Now who's big headed?" He asked teasingly.

She grinned but her smile fell as she focused on her transfiguration task. She had never tried to make ice skates from gloves before. But Hermione Granger was never one to bow down to a challenge.

Hermione had managed to make a decent job of transfiguring the skates from the gloves. Her fuzzy pom poms however had stubbornly refused to transfigure completely and was sticking off the top of one of her skates. Draco's silver eyes had widened to the size of saucers as he'd watched her transfigure them. He'd muttered something about how she could probably get all O's in her O. if she sat them right now. Hermione wasn't used to getting compliments, especially from Draco Malfoy. It made her feel strangely powerful and shy all at once.

It had started snowing again. They were out on the ice and Draco Malfoy was currently gripping onto her hands for dear life. His legs looked very bambi like and unsteady at the moment and his forehead was creased in concentration. It was one of the most inadvertently hilarious and beautiful sights she'd ever witnessed. She knew Draco felt completely uncomfortable but yet he kept trying. Like her he didn't give up easily and he hated not being able to do something.

"Granger if you let go of my hand I swear-" Said Draco shakily.

Hermione giggled feeling cold tears of laughter sting at her eyes.

"You're enjoying this aren't you?"

Hermione nodded.

"I would say I'm sorry but I'm not." She replied teasingly.

Draco sighed and rolled his eyes at her.

"Mean."

"Just relax a little. I've got you and I promise I won't let go." She said gently.

Malfoy nodded. He let her lead him in slow circles as Hermione faced him skating backwards. Little show off.

After half an hour Draco was doing very well. He could skate on his own going forwards. Albeit a little ungracefully and slowly but Hermione was very impressed with his progress. She'd been skating since she could walk so she knew how hard it must be for him.

"How did you get so good at skating?" He asked.

Draco watched Hermione skate fast around the lake in neat circles performing graceful spins and loops through the air. He'd never watched anything so beautiful. She looked so happy, so free. Her cheeks were flushed with cold and exertion. Her curly snow covered hair spun around her. The delicate lines of her body held a perfect poise and discipline in them. Even those veela ballerinas, although hypnotisingly beautiful, weren't half as graceful or captivating as Granger was.

"I've been skating all my life. My mum used to take me to the rink every weekend through winter. I miss it." She said as she skated up to him.

"My father used to take me to quidditch practice every weekend. It was about the only decent thing he did for me. You know you're so good at skating I'm surprised you're not into quidditch. They're not that different."

Hermione smiled softly at his personal admission.

"My skates listen to me. Brooms don't. I'm not the best with heights either." She said with a grimace.

Draco shook his head.

"You taught me to skate. I can teach you to fly."

Hermione smiled maybe it wouldn't be so bad if he was teaching her.

"You have yourself a deal." She said.

Draco smiled and her heart gave a little feeble stutter.

Somehow Hermione got the feeling she'd just made a very bad deal.

It was late. The town was beginning to quieten as students made their way back to the station.

"We should go." Said Hermione with a sigh.

Draco nodded his sigh merging with hers. It was getting dark. It was later than he'd intended but he wanted to make the most of every minute he had with her. Now they had to go back to pretending they didn't know one another. This charade was exhausting.

Hermione extended her hand to Draco and he took it marvelling at the warm tingles that spread through him from her touch. Every time it felt like that.

"But first we spin off the ice." She said her eyes gleaming.

"What?" He asked with a frown. He did not like when Granger got that glint in her eyes. Well if he was honest he liked it a lot but it meant trouble.

"My mother used to spin me when I was little. It's fun I promise."

Draco hesitated but Hermione was already forming Draco's hands into an 'x' shape with his arms crossing them at the wrists. She mirrored his stance facing him. She smiled at him softly and his heart skipped a beat.

"Focus on one spot and don't let go of my hands ok?"

Draco nodded and Hermione began to spin them round in a gentle circle at first then their circles became faster and wilder. Hermione's hair was whipping around her face. Everything was blurring except her pink cheeks and wide grin. They were going fast now almost fast as flying on a broom. Not bad for a muggle invention. He was overcome with the need to close his eyes as they filled with tears from the cold air.

"Don't close your eyes you'll get dizzy!" Shouted Hermione over the loud scratching of their skates on the ice.

She giggled as the speed of their spinning reached its maximum.

Draco smiled and let himself relax into the feeling of the air flowing around them. The feel of Hermione's slender fingers gripping tightly onto his. This was why Hermione liked this so much. This was why she'd shown him this. To let him be free for a while. He didn't want to feel anything but this forever.

Hermione gazed at Draco's face as they spun. With his eyes closed he looked so peaceful and happy. She wished he could always look like this. He always looked so serious normally. She guessed he'd had to be or it would've broken some pureblood manner code and earned him God knows what from his father. She began to slow them down unwillingly. If only they could stay like this forever safe from fear and everyone else. She sighed as they came to a gentle standstill once more. Draco's eyes were still closed. She moved closer unintentionally. His eyes opened slowly and Hermione noticed how unfocused they were.

"Told you you'd get dizzy." She said with a smile.

Draco brushed it off with a shrug.

"I am not dizzy."

Hermione quirked her brow sceptically.

"Oh? Ok then." She said as she let go of his hands and began to skate away.

"Are you coming?" She asked with a sly grin.

She laughed as he tried to steady himself.

"So stubborn." She said as she skated back to help him.

"I'm fine." He said as he attempted to skate towards Hermione.

His arms waved wildly and he careered into Hermione who attempted to steady him by placing her hands on his elbows. But he was too strong for her. They spun and tumbled to the ground in a heap of limbs.

"Ow." Groaned Draco.

Hermione laughed heartily. What. An. Idiot.

"Are you alright? Nothing broken?"

Hermione was tangled on top of Draco. He'd been the one to hit the ice. She hoped he hadn't hurt his head. His eyes were still closed. She shuffled up his body so her face was closer to his. His eyes opened slowly. They were a beautiful hazy grey but Hermione thought they looked slightly unfocused still.

"Only my pride and possibly my arse."

Hermione giggled uncontrollably.

"Sorry." She wheezed.

Malfoy raised his brow at her.

"No you're not." He said with a teasing grin.

Hermione shook her head.

"You're right I'm not. If you hadn't been so proud you wouldn't have fallen. And by the way you can't break your arse." She said with a matter of fact eye roll.

Malfoy laughed. She was so beautiful. Her softly curling hair was covered with fat snowflakes turning it white. She looked like an angel. Her petite body was warm and perfectly aligned with his. His entire body was pulsing. He brushed her wet snow covered hair back behind her ear and watched a deep blush cover her cheeks.

Hermione felt Malfoy's finger's rest against her cheek. His fingers so warm and gentle on her cool cheeks. He was looking at her so intensely she wanted to look away but couldn't. They were being pulled together by an invisible cord. It tightened around their waists and chests binding them together. But it didn't feel constrictive it felt liberating. Hermione felt her breath catch as Malfoy pushed himself up on his elbows. She watched a fat snowflake melt on Draco's soft bottom lip. She swallowed thickly. Draco's eyes flickered closed his face was so close to hers. Hermione's eyes widened. Her heart leapt into her mouth. Was he going to…

Hermione screamed in surprise as a freezing snowball hurtled into the side of her face. Draco and Hermione stood up quickly glancing around them desperately with panicked eyes. There was no one around. Draco held Hermione close to him protectively.

"Show yourself." Shouted Draco.

Nothing. Hermione's eyes narrowed as she thought she heard the mumble of very familiar voices just at the lake's edge.

"Harry and Ronald take that bloody cloak off right this minute!" She shouted her cheeks heating in embarrassment and anger.

Harry and Ron at least had the decency to look sheepish as they pulled the cloak off. Hermione skated over to them her anger flaring.

"What are you doing here?" She asked.

"What are _you_ doing here? With…him?" Countered Ron.

Hermione blushed.

"Well that's none of your business Weasley." Said Draco darkly as he appeared behind Hermione's shoulder.

Hermione narrowed her eyes at Draco.

"Don't. Not helping." She said warningly to Draco.

He opened his mouth to reply but bit back his retort.

Hermione sighed and cringed at the tension in the air.

"Now is not the time or the place to discuss this. We'll all be in trouble if we don't get back right now. You especially Harry. Let's get going."

They walked back to the passage in complete stony silence. Hermione had forcefully placed herself between Harry and Draco to avoid any further friction. Wonderful.

"We need to tell Hermione what we overheard in the Three Broomsticks." Said Ron softly.

"Not in front of him." Said Harry.

Hermione groaned as she felt Draco tense beside her.

"This is ridiculous!" Said Hermione.

She halted and took a deep breath facing the three boys.

"Harry and Ron I understand if you're still mad at me for lying to you but I only did that because if I'd told you I was meeting with Draco well you would've acted the way you are now. Harry I miss you. I really do so much. But things can't go on this way." She said with a sad sigh.

"I miss you too Hermione. But this is just too weird. Sorry." He said looking between Hermione and Draco.

Hermione blushed.

"I know it's weird. Trust me I really do. But the fact is Draco is my friend now. So you'd both better get used to having him around alright? Please can you just try not to kill each other? For me? I won't disappoint Dumbledore or any of you so please don't put me in the awful position of acting as a shield charm between this ridiculous testosterone fest that's going on between all three of you."

The three boys stared at her and then turned to one another their eyes narrowed.

"Do we have an understanding?" She asked.

The boys begrudgingly nodded and Hermione sighed in relief. It was a start.

"Go on tell me what you heard. Draco won't tell, will you?" She said meaningfully glancing at Draco. He hesitated but nodded obediently.

Harry and Ron's eyes widened at Malfoy's obedience towards Hermione.

"Well we overheard McGonnagall and Hagrid talking-"

"Eavesdropping more like-" Said Draco darkly.

"Shhhhh."

"Sod off Malfoy."

"Shut it."

Said Hermione, Ron and Harry simultaneously.

Hermione shared a conspiratorial grin with her boys. She was glad to have them back. But she nudged her shoulder into Draco's a little to show she hadn't meant to 'shush' him she just wanted to hear the uninterrupted story.

Draco muttered incoherently and Harry continued his story.

Hermione looped her arm through Harry's as they neared the castle.

"Oh Harry I'm so sorry." Said Hermione sympathetically.

She wondered if Harry or Draco would ever be able to catch a break. Draco had been unusually quiet throughout the story. She glanced at him and saw he was deep in thought.

Harry shrugged.

"He was their best friend and he betrayed them. How could he do it?" Asked Harry with barely restrained angry tears in his eyes.

Hermione squeezed Harry's arm tighter.

"Because he was afraid." Said Malfoy quietly.

Harry glared at him.

"He was a coward. He took the easy way out." He said bitterly.

"A lifetime of servitude to the Dark Lord and a life sentence in Azkaban. Hardly easy Potter." Retorted Draco.

Hermione and Ron tensed on either side of the ensuing argument they could feel brewing.

"Well you would think that wouldn't you." Said Harry darkly.

"What's that supposed to mean? " Asked Draco sharply.

"Draco please don't-" Interrupted Hermione trying to diffuse the situation.

"It means that I get why you sympathise with Black. He's on your side with all the rest of the death eater scum."

Hermione gasped. Draco froze next to her.

"Harry mate he's a git but even I have to say that was a bit harsh." Said Ron.

Hermione could have hugged Ron in that moment.

"You don't know anything about me Potter." Said Draco his voice perfectly controlled.

"I know enough to know I don't want to know anymore." Said Harry.

"ENOUGH!" Shouted Hermione.

Her voice echoed around the walls.

Ron jumped in surprise and Hermione patted his shoulder.

"Sorry Ron that wasn't meant for you. You two need to stop this. I'm not picking between either of you understand? This is between you two. Sirius Black is dangerous and he is on the loose. You are in danger Harry. We all are. So stop with this playground nonsense because this is serious alright? If he is working for Voldemort again you could be in real danger Harry. We have to go see Dumbledore. Right now."

They all nodded hesitantly and Hermione relaxed. Good something they could finally all agree on.

They spent the rest of the short journey in silence.

As they exited the One eyed witch Hermione caught Draco for a moment alone.

"I'm sorry about Harry I'll talk to him. Draco with all of this I forgot to thank you. I really had a wonderful time today. And I'd like to do something like that again." She said quietly.

"You're welcome." He said shakily.

She made him nervous. He'd never been able to talk to someone the way he talked to Hermione. He'd never wanted to go out of his way to do something for someone else but he would do anything for her. It was a completely terrifying feeling. But as he saw how happy she was with her flushed cheeks, rosy smile and the snowflakes gently melting in her hair he didn't feel terrified anymore. He'd made her feel happy and that felt better than anything. He would've kissed her too. He knew that. He wanted to but Harry bloody Potter had put a stop to that. Next time he would make sure there was definitely no one around. Even lurking in an invisibility cloak. Fucking Potter.

Harry coughed politely from behind them. Harry glared at him and he glared right back. Ron was flushing scarlet and seemed to want to fade into the wall behind him. He would take Hermione Granger to Hogsmeade again and this time it would be as his date. And there wasn't a thing Harry bloody Potter could do about it.

It was later than they'd intended it to be by the time they got back to the castle. The others had already arrived back. Malfoy only hoped Snape was doing his part to help them avoid suspicion. It was silent and still. Too still. Draco's heart began to race and Hermione's eyes locked with his. She felt it too. The fear was mirrored in both their eyes something wasn't right. They all jumped as they heard screams and worried chatter from above their heads. It was 8. The students should be making their way to their common rooms at this time. But there was no movement at all. The screams were coming from Gryffindor tower.

Hermione froze.

She began to run but Draco reached his hand and pulled her arm back gently.

"Stay close." He whispered.

Hermione nodded in agreement.

Harry rolled his eyes at them but followed behind with Ron. He could at least agree Draco Malfoy was right about some things.

Hermione gripped onto Draco's arm and they made their way to Gryffindor tower. They didn't get far before they were met by the entire of Gryffindor house led by a flustered Percy Weasley. Everyone looked shaken and the halls were filled with nervous chatter. Percy was getting increasingly angry trying to keep everyone calm.

"There you all are. You had us worried. We're going to the Great Hall. Oh Mr Malfoy you should go down to the dungeons and meet Slytherin House. Dumbledore's orders. Everyone to the Great Hall as quickly as possible."

Hermione frowned as she felt Draco leave her side. She was over come with a horrible feeling of dread. It wasn't safe for him to go down to the dungeons alone. She grabbed his wrist to halt him.

"What happened?" She asked breathlessly.

"Sirius Black broke into the castle and tried to get into the Gryffindor Common Room. Poor Fat Lady was almost torn to shreds." Said Lavender hysterically from behind Percy.

Hermione swallowed thickly and her heart raced as she shared a meaningful look with a worried Harry. He'd been looking for Harry.

"I don't think anyone should be walking around the castle on their own. " She said as she locked eyes with Draco.

Percy seemed to realise that Hermione was indeed correct and he flushed at his own error. Draco glanced at her with a frown across his brow.

"Yes. Well let's move along shall we? Come one everyone. Stick together." Said Percy in his pompous authoratitve voice.

Hermione let go of Draco's arm self consciously as Lavender and Parvati frowned at her suspiciously and began whispering in each other's ears. She flexed her fingers out still feeling the buzz of where his fingers had touched her as they began to walk.

"This isn't good." She whispered to Harry.

Harry paled and nodded.

Harry tensed and Hermione wedged herself more firmly between the both of them as they entered the Great Hall. Draco left her side wordlessly to join the Slytherin's. Hermione's heart sank slightly. It always did when he left her side. She stopped watching the back of his head as Pansy flung her arms around him. Pansy shot her a cat like grin from over Draco's shoulder. Hermione felt like she'd been winded. Everything from her heart to her stomach ached painfully. She could hug him and be close to him but Hermione never could. She felt jealousy rear its ugly head and writhe through her veins. Harry placed his hand on her arm and it was only then that she realised she'd moving towards them her fists tensed.

"Come on." Said Harry as he led her and Ron over to three sleeping bags right next to one another.

Hermione nodded as she swallowed the bile in her throat down. Harry and Ron explained how they had found their way into Hogsmeade and to her and Malfoy by using the Marauder's map that the twins had given to Harry. Hermione wouldn't normally trust anything the twins gave Harry but in times like these with Black on the loose she agreed with Harry and Ron that he best keep it close at all times. It could come in very useful. The events of the day had left everyone feeling exhausted and soon the candles were dimmed and students were ordered to lie in their sleeping bags. The chatter ceased and was soon replaced by light breathing and uneasy snores.

The Prefects were patrolling the sleeping bags. It was the middle of the night but Hermione couldn't sleep. Too much had happened. She knew Harry wasn't asleep either. Ron snored quietly to her left. Lucky boy. Ron could sleep through anything.

"Harry. Are you awake?" She whispered.

Harry slowly turned to her in the darkness. They watched each other in the silence.

"Yeah. I can't sleep."

Hermione nodded.

"Me neither."

"He was looking for me." Stated Harry.

Hermione nodded.

"You're safe Harry. Dumbledore won't let you get hurt. I won't either."

Harry smiled gratefully.

"I'm really sorry Hermione. For everything. I was completely- "

Hermione shook her head.

"Forget it. Just let's promise not to fall out again."

Harry nodded.

"Agreed. Hermione…do you…like Malfoy?"

Hermione blushed.

"I do. Like you and Ron. He's my friend. Honestly I swear he's different-"

"I know he is. I saw how he was with you…he's a git but he seems to treat you alright."

Hermione chuckled muffling her laughter in her sleeping bag.

"I didn't mean like that way. I mean…would you have kissed him if Ron hadn't flung that snowball. He was aiming for him by the way." Said Harry.

Hermione froze.

She'd thought about kissing him she couldn't deny that. Friends weren't supposed to want to kiss each other. Would she want to kiss Harry or Ron? She grimaced. Ew. No. Wrong. That would be like kissing a family member. Malfoy wasn't like that. She was very, very confused. She tried to imagine if the snow ball hadn't hit. Draco's mouth with the melting snowflake. Her lips meeting his. Warm, minty, spicy and wet. The jolts of electricity would surge through her being as their lips touched.

Her heart was racing as Harry stared at her. She shook her head. No. If that happened Draco would be as good as dead. She wouldn't do that to him. Not ever. They had to remain the way they were. Secret friends, nothing more. Not ever.

"No."

Harry nodded reassured.

"But…theoretically. If I had wanted to.."

Harry's eyes sharpened and Hermione blushed.

"I said theoretically."

Harry sighed.

"If you wanted to kiss him. Truly wanted to. I wouldn't do anything. I only want you to be happy. I don't like him and I don't trust him. But I trust you and you're my best friend. But if he kissed you and you didn't want him to? I'd hex his undistended balls off."

Hermione snorted and Harry grinned.

Percy glared down at them.

"Sleep. Now." He warned.

They both nodded and Percy moved on.

Hermione stretched her hand out to Harry's.

"Thanks Harry. That really won't be necessary. But thanks. Night Harry." She yawned.

She squeezed Harry's hand and he squeezed her hand back. She let herself drift off with Harry's warm comforting touch lulling her to sleep. Harry's hands felt nothing like Draco's. Draco was becoming a very big problem. She really hoped he would never get his balls hexed off because of her. Or worse. Much worse.


	9. Let Our walls Cave In

**AN:** Thankyou so much beautiful reviewers. You are all making my day.

This chapter I'm listening to: Sleeping At Last – Heart.

 **Let Our walls Cave In.**

There was only two weeks left of term before Christmas. A month had passed since Hogsmeade and the tension in the air since Sirius Black's attack was palpable to everyone. No students were allowed out alone. Curfew had been set for 8 o'clock. Students, teachers and parents alike were all feeling the strain. Harry was taking it hardest of all, understandably so. But he was bearing it as bravely as he bore everything else he hadn't asked for. He never complained but Hermione knew he was worried. And most of all heartbroken that someone his parents had trusted had betrayed them. She and Ron were trying to get the delicate balance between being protective and comforting without smothering him. It was tough. Harry missed flying too which didn't help. He at least had his patronus lessons with Lupin to distract him. Hermione was very proud and also slightly jealous that Harry could already intermittently produce a corporeal patronus. She would get him to teach her over the holidays perhaps. It would help him to take his mind off other things at the very least.

It would be quiet at Christmas this year at Hogwarts, even more so than usual. Parents wanted to keep their children close with Black on the loose. Hermione and Ron had vowed to remain with Harry even though he insisted she go to her parents. She missed them greatly and knew they were disappointed but they understood Harry needed her more than they did right now. She kept the specific details about Black from her parents. They would only worry. One of the greatest perks of having muggle parents was that they were distanced from the magical world and all of the dangers held within it.

Over the last month the boys had begrudgingly come to accept the fact that Hermione was meeting with Malfoy but they still didn't trust him or get along with him in the slightest. They'd found the best way to get along was to ignore that the other existed in Hermione's life. Neither wanted to lose Hermione and it was the best way they knew of keeping things civil, well civil-ish. Hermione knew they were trying but she had accepted the fact that it might just never be possible for them to all get along. Ron and Ginny at least appeared to be making more of an effort than either Draco or Harry. It was so silly with Black on the loose that she was even worrying about the boys not getting along and the fact that Pansy Parkinson was becoming increasingly vile towards her. Jealousy was a fickle thing. Hermione knew that now.

Hermione watched across the hall as Pansy clung to Draco and whispered in his ear. She laughed and brushed his bicep lightly. Every time she saw them together it felt like getting kicked in the gut. She didn't understand it. When she saw them together she wanted to physically hurt Pansy. It made her think awful, mean thoughts about a girl she didn't really know anything about. Sure she'd been mean to her but so had lots of people. Maybe Pansy was hiding her true self behind mean words like Draco had she didn't know. Hermione had never thought this way before it terrified her. She hated thinking ill of people especially over silly unjustified reasons. Most disgustingly of all she was jealous because Pansy belonged in Draco's world and she didn't and never would. It was that simple. She'd never felt like she wasn't good enough before. Not even when girls were mean to her in primary school. Not even when Draco had called her a mudblood. But she felt it now. And she didn't like that one bit.

Hermione never put much thought into beauty and outward appearances. She never judged books by their covers. But Draco was beautiful there was no denying it. He was beautiful in a way that it almost hurt to look upon. Despite everything she'd learnt about him over the months they'd spent together Draco Malfoy still presented himself in the way a pureblood should. He still dressed and looked the way they did. Like Pansy did too. When Pansy wasn't scowling she had to admit she was pretty. She had long black hair that was sleek and always perfectly styled. She was the perfect pureblood girl. She was Draco's natural counterpart. They made sense together and that was a fact. No matter how much Draco protested otherwise. She hated the way her jealousy was making her wonder what their real relationship was. Why should it matter to her anyway? Draco wasn't hers and he never would be. He'd told her they weren't going out but they were just so close all the time…closer than she could ever get and that hurt.

Hermione walked to the bathroom. Trying to push her jealousy back down but like bile it just kept rising up threatening to spill out of her at any moment. She looked at herself in the mirror in the bathroom. She had an overbite. Her hair was wild and she had only just started being able to tame it slightly. But no matter how hard she tried it would never be sleek like Pansy's. Her skin wasn't perfect and pale like Pansy's either it was freckled and golden from her time spent in France. She was slim not curvy. She wasn't beautiful she knew that but she didn't mind the face staring back at her. After all it was her face and she liked who she was. She wouldn't change anything about herself. Her mother had told her never to compare herself to anyone else. "Love yourself Herm." The thing is until she'd spent a lot of time with Draco she'd never doubted or cared about her appearance. He made her feel so self conscious. But that wasn't Draco's fault. He was just so beautiful and she was just so… plain.

But if Draco was only her friend like Harry and Ron why did she feel this way? She felt that niggling sensation in her chest and stomach when she thought of Draco. Is this what a crush felt like? Did she have a crush on Draco Malfoy? She blushed and shook her head. She didn't want this. She hadn't asked for it. Damn it all. Harry needed her and Sirius Black was on the loose and she was fretting over a bloody school girl crush! Get a grip! Maybe she could talk to Ginny about all of this after all she had a crush on Harry so she would know if this is what she was feeling wouldn't she?

Hermione had noticed a change in Draco since Hogsmeade. Draco was distancing himself from her she could feel it when they were together and she wished for the life of her she knew what she'd did to push him away. They still spoke all the time in the Room of Requirement but he never spoke about anything particularly personal like he had before. He seemed to be so self aware when he was around her like he was holding something back . He'd never been like that with her before and she wanted to give him his own space but she would need to clear the air with him. But she would put it off until he played his match tomorrow. It was the Slytherin V Ravenclaw game which Dumbledore had assured would be going ahead with his increased safety measures. It wouldn't be fair to bring it up with everything else going on. No matter how much she wanted to know. He needed to focus. All of this would need to wait. Forever if possible. Hermione was all for giving support and advice to her friends. She didn't like being the person that needed advice. She didn't like being the person that felt helpless. Liking someone, if this is what this was, made you feel crazy, jealous and out of control. She needed to stop this feeling before it grew and grew.

Draco Malfoy was pretty sure he had a crush on Hermione Granger and he didn't know what to do. Malfoy's didn't have crushes. But Draco wasn't sure he wanted to be a Malfoy any more so maybe this was ok? He was so confused. The only person he felt he could really talk to was the one person he couldn't tell. Granger was far too smart and too pure for someone like him he wouldn't even entertain it. That was the end of it. Even if there wasn't the entire crazy father, pureblood and muggle born thing there was the fact that Hermione was far too good. Regardless of the kind things she'd said to him. Draco had dark places inside of him that Hermione couldn't ever see. If she did she'd be tainted forever. He didn't want to change her. She was perfect just as she was. The only way for her to stay perfect was to keep his distance from her and keep his stupid feelings to himself. She made him want to be a better person but he couldn't change who he was. There was darkness within him and he was always afraid of the moment it might overpower the light.

He didn't understand that she didn't seem to want him for anything. Not his money or his body or anything like that. He'd never met a more confusing person before. Usually when a girl liked him it was pretty obvious they would go all clingy like Pansy pretended to be. He would either let it happen if he wanted to or say he was sorry but that he wasn't interested. That was it. But Hermione was complex. She held his hand sometimes and sometimes he thought he caught her looking at him. She blushed when he looked at her sometimes too. But he didn't know if that was just how she was. Hermione was a very shy caring person with everyone. She was all touchy feely with Potter and Weasley too which drove him absolutely crazy. But what could he do? Nothing he had no right to even think like this. Maybe she didn't like him in that way at all. A part of him hoped she didn't but a selfish part of him hoped she did.

He kept trying to push his strange, growing feelings for her away but they kept resurfacing at the most inopportune moments. He'd never felt like this way about anyone before that he was sure of. Most girls that he'd liked before he'd only wanted to kiss them and do all of those kind of things with them. But those relationships always fizzled out. They didn't like him once they'd had their fill of kisses. He wasn't long term boyfriend material. And before Hermione he'd been ok with that. But he didn't want that with Hermione. He wanted more. She was different. She was too important.

He didn't want to kiss Hermione because if he did he would ruin everything. She wouldn't like him anymore or want to be his friend. She'd realise that he was a terrible person and he would never be with her again. Draco wasn't good at relationship stuff. His heart had been fucked around too much even if he was only fourteen. It was a miracle it still worked at all. And she was so innocent…so pure. He doubted she'd ever kissed anyone. It was a blessing and a sin because she had the most beautiful mouth he'd ever seen. A mouth that deserved to be kissed, she had the smallest, softest rosiest lips that he'd dreamt about more than he cared to admit. But her lips were too pure for him. Her lips weren't for someone like him they were for someone good like Potter, or hell, even Weasley. Not him. He so wanted to be the one to kiss her. Every day it got harder to resist the urge. But he had to. He wasn't going to risk losing her over his stupid hormones.

He had almost kissed her that day on the ice and he'd made sure to behave himself since then. When they'd work in the room of requirement she'd sit so close sometimes her rose scented waves would tickle his nostrils. It drove him crazy. Then she'd smile at him softly and he'd want nothing more than to pull her close and press his lips to hers. But he couldn't do that. Not ever and there was a billion reasons why he couldn't.

Her kisses were her own to give to whom she wished when and if she was ready to. And he wouldn't steal one from her no matter how much he craved one. He swore to Potter and to himself he wouldn't hurt her and he intended to keep that promise. If he ever kissed her she would get hurt and his father would kill him if he was lucky. The strangest thing was even though there was a growing part of him that wanted to kiss Hermione there was a bigger part of him that didn't care if he ever did. As long as he got to keep her in his life he was happy, happier than he'd ever been in fact. As long as he got to hear her laugh and see her smile every day he couldn't ask for anything more. She'd already given him more of herself than anyone ever had. And that wasn't anything to do with being physical there was more than having a physical connection with a girl and she was slowly teaching Draco that day by day. Every day he thought to himself how lucky he was that she still came by everyday to spend time with him. He felt luckiest on the days she didn't even brother to bring her books. Those were his favourite days filled wit her voice, her laugh and her smiling dark eyes.

Draco found a confidante for all of his messy emotions in the very unlikely source of Pansy Parkinson. He'd known her since they were kids of course but he and Pansy had always had an odd relationship. One of mutual benefits and carefully acted out mutual attraction. Unlike Hermione Pansy needed Draco because he was a very eligible pureblood. The type of boy Pansy should be fantasising about marrying. But Draco knew that Pansy's fantasies didn't involve him in the slightest. But that was a secret he'd been sworn never to tell anyone. It was her secret to tell not his, so he would keep it. If the truth were revealed Pansy would be in even graver danger than he was. They had to look out for each other; it wasn't like they had anyone else in the crazy pureblood sphere.

He knew that some day they would probably end up married to one another and that both of them would be unhappy forever because of it. And it wasn't really fair on either of them. But especially on Pansy. He didn't hate her personally just everything she represented. She was his cage and he was hers. Pansy's parents were on par with his and he had a deep affinity with Pansy that he would probably never share with anyone else. Because they both knew how it felt to be completely powerless. He hated lying to people, especially Hermione, about Pansy. Painting her to be this clingy, needy silly girl but Pansy had told him to and he couldn't refuse her. She only clung to him in public because like his own father, her father had eyes everywhere too and he had to make sure his little girl was fulfilling her duty as a pureblood princess.

But when there were no prying eyes and Pansy could be herself. She was completely different. Pansy was pretty even he had to admit that. And she was very kind to those that knew her best. But like him she was very guarded and most people on the outside saw her as nothing more than a cold hearted bitch. But she wasn't. She understood him in a way no one else could because they were both trapped in the same situation. In private without everyone watching her Pansy was actually pretty cool. If their relationship wasn't so fucked up he would even have called her a friend. The only thing he truly disliked about her was when she'd say mean, awful things about Hermione and how the common room would roar with laughter at her words. But he couldn't hate her for that. After all he'd said worse things himself before he'd known any better. He sat there laughing along even though it killed him because if he showed how he truly felt about Hermione. Everyone would know. And no one could know or Hermione would get hurt. And he never wanted her to get hurt but he especially didn't want her hurt because of him.

He and Pansy were alone in the common room. The others had gone to bed early in preparation for the match. He should have been in bed too but he wasn't sleeping well these days. Crippling self doubts and the problem of Hermione plagued his thoughts waking and sleeping. They'd been sitting in comfortable silence for a while. Pansy was reading a book reclining on the couch opposite his. He turned to her as she let out a sigh and clamped her book shut placing it behind her on the armrest.

"Draco I've known you since we were both in nappies. When you frown like that it means you're thinking about a girl." She said with a cocked brow.

Draco's eyes shot to her icy blue ones. Hermione had been plaguing all of his thoughts waking and sleeping. He sighed. He hated that Pansy knew that. You couldn't hide anything from that girl for long.

"And what of it?"

Pansy smirked.

"Well well never thought I'd see the day I saw you pining over a girl Draco. Usually you just take what you want." She said with a meaningful glance.

Malfoy scowled.

"I do no such thing. I don't take anything that isn't willingly offered." He said defensively.

Pansy laughed.

"True. So this one is playing hard to get then?"

Malfoy shook his head.

"That's just it. She isn't playing any games. I doubt she would even know how even if she wanted to." He said with a reverent smile.

Pansy shook her head.

"Every one knows how to play the game Draco."

Draco shook his head.

"Not this one. Trust me. She's…special." He said with a sigh.

Pansy's eyes widened and she gasped.

"I can't believe it. The Draco Malfoy is completely smitten with Hermione Granger."

Pansy laughed and Draco's eyes widened as he tried to contain a guilty flush.

"Granger? Why would I-"

Pansy yawned.

"Drop the act Draco. If you're going to lie make sure it isn't to a Slytherin who's been lying even longer than you." She said with a raised brow.

Draco felt a giant weight lift off his shoulders. Someone knew. Thank God. He just wished it hadn't been Pansy.

"Well what are you waiting for? Run along and tell my father." He said bitterly.

Pansy shook her head.

"I have secrets too Draco. I won't tell if you won't tell mine."

Draco's watched her carefully and nodded gratefully when he realised she was being honest.

"Why are you doing this?"

Pansy smiled.

"We're even now. You didn't tell my father you saw me with Daphne Greengrass at your mother's summer party last month."

Draco shrugged.

He had assumed wrongly that Pansy still held a one sided love for him until he'd caught her and Daphne together. That night she'd spilled out everything to him crying against his shoulder for hours. As it turned out Draco had been and would be the only boy she would ever love.

"Not really even though is it Pansy. So you kissed a girl. The girl you were kissing was a pureblood at least. Hermione is…well it wouldn't be allowed. You know that." He said firmly.

Pansy sat up and glared at him defiantly.

"In case you haven't noticed I'm a girl too Draco. In our world that isn't allowed either. We're supposed to kiss pure blood boys and marry them. Then make loads of pureblood babies with them. Ugh and I'm supposed to…do it with you." Pansy physically gagged.

Malfoy laughed.

"Sorry I didn't mean that. You're right. Thanks I'm glad you find me as repulsive as I find you. And you said we'd never agree on anything darling."

He said teasingly.

Pansy laughed.

"Sorry. I mean I guess you're sort of pretty for a guy but…ew."

Draco grinned. He liked how frank she was. With Pansy there was never any uncertain ty of her feelings.

This sucked. Why couldn't he and Pansy be with whoever they wanted to be with?

"Well we're both in a fine mess aren't we? I want to kiss a muggle born Gryffindor. And you're going after all the most eligible bachelorette's in Slytherin. What do we do about it?" Asked Draco.

Pansy sighed.

"Nothing. There's nothing we can do."

Draco nodded.

"Right…How are things with you and Daphne anyway?"

He asked changing the subject smoothly.

Pansy shook her head.

"Over. It was mostly experimentation on her part. I'm not bothered. I like someone else now anyway."

Draco smiled at her.

"Oh. Well, good for you Pans."

Pansy launched the book she was reading at Draco's forehead as she caught the dreamy expression crossing Draco's face once more as they fell into silence again.

"Ah bloody hell! What was that for?!" He asked as he rubbed his throbbing forehead.

"You have to stop falling for her Draco." She reprimanded.

Draco shook his head and he sighed.

"That's like telling you that you have to start liking boys. Completely impossible. You don't know her Pansy. She's so…amazing. Have you ever met anyone that you felt wanted to know you completely? Not in a physical or a superficial way either but like…on the inside? When I'm with her I feel like maybe I'm not a completely shitty person."

Pansy shook her head. She hadn't met anyone like that.

Draco was right though. It was completely impossible not to fall for Hermione Granger. She knew that all too well. She was insanely jealous. She didn't know her like Draco did nor would she. Hermione Granger was falling for Draco Malfoy too she could see that plainly. And she didn't have the heart to let her own jealousy overtake the fact that Draco seemed genuinely happy for once. God knows he deserved that more than anyone. She had to help him even though it would kill her to help the boy she was supposed to love be with the girl that she did.

Ginny giggled as she and Hermione sat facing each other cross legged on her bed in their pyjamas. It was late and Parvati and Lavender were sleeping over in Ravenclaw dorm with Padma leaving Hermione alone. So she'd invited Ginny up for a girl's night. God knows she needed one.

"It's not funny Gin!" She exclaimed as she swatted her with a sugar quill.

Ginny sobered but the grin was soon back on her lips.

"Sorry but it sort of is. I mean you. YOU. Have a crush on Draco Malfoy. MALFOY."

Hermione sighed and blushed.

Ginny squeezed her shoulder comfortingly.

"I'm glad you've finally admitted it. I've known for months." She said.

Hermione frowned.

"It was obvious from the start. Especially on his end. All that teasing then it suddenly stops? Plus you don't see him like a friend or as a brother. You see him as something else don't you?" She replied.

Hermione nodded hesitantly.

"Have you held hands?" Asked Ginny.

Hermione nodded reddening.

"Have you kissed him yet?"

Hermione thought back to her lips on his cool cheek in the owlery and the melting snowflake on his lip as she lay on top of him on the ice with his arms wrapped around her. Her heart was racing. No. But she wanted to…maybe.

She shook her head and Ginny smiled.

"But you want to."

It was a statement not a question.

"I'm not sure. I've never wanted to kiss anyone before. But he definitely has." She said as she picked some sugar crystals from her bed spread absently.

Ginny stilled Hermione's hand and smiled at her softly. 

"It doesn't matter Hermione. You know that don't you? It doesn't matter how many girls he's kissed before you. If he only wants to kiss you then it doesn't matter."

Hermione nodded but she bit her lip.

"But he wouldn't want me if he found out how inexperienced I am."

Ginny rolled her eyes at her.

"Hermione he wouldn't care. I see the way he looks at you. He likes you for who you are. Inexperience and all. Plus you're a fast learner and I'm sure Draco would be a more than willing tutor." She said waggling her eyebrows.

Hermione snorted as her cheeks flamed.

"You really are awful. Harry won't know what's hit him when he realises he's crazy about you."

Ginny sobered and she bit her lip shyly.

"Do you think he ever will notice me Herm?"

Hermione nodded.

"I'm sure of it. Just keep trying to talk to him and relax around him. He'll get the message. Harry is pretty oblivious to any girls attentions not just yours so don't feel bad. You really are perfect for each other you know."

Ginny hugged her gratefully. Hermione was closer to anyone than Harry but she never felt jealousy towards her. She truly believed her when she said Harry and her brother Ron were like her own brothers she never had. Hermione deserved a little romance in her life too. She knew the boys didn't trust Draco. And he did have a bad reputation. But this year she'd noticed he'd changed. And there was no doubt in her mind it was because of Hermione.

"Speaking of perfect for each other. What are you going to do about Draco?" She asked.

Hermione blushed. Were they perfect for each other? She'd never thought about it. He was just so different yet they were similar she had to admit. There was something she had with him she didn't have with anyone else. A connection she felt any time he was near her. A connection that made her want to be with him. It was strange, unsettling and completely unexplainable but it made her feel alive inside.

"Nothing. Even if I was sure of my feelings I couldn't put him at risk like that. Draco and I can't ever be anything. We shouldn't even be meeting like we are. His father would hurt Draco if he found out he was even sharing the same air with me let alone anything else."

Ginny sighed.

"But that's so unfair. You both like each other."

Hermione nodded as she lay back on her pillows as Ginny moved to curl up on Parvati's bed.

"It isn't fair that Harry doesn't notice you either. But that's just the way things are."

Ginny nodded.

"Well while we wait on the world to change we can have some fun can't we?" Asked Ginny with a crooked smile.

Hermione returned her smile as she closed her eyes and attempted to sleep. Ginny's light, even breaths filled the room long before hers.

Draco's snow covered mouth, the feel of his hands on her waist, her lips pressed against his and she jolted back as the metallic taste of blood filled her mouth. His perfect lips were cut. His face was bruised.

"I got these because of you. Mudblood."

Hermione watched as blood trickled from the corner of his mouth. Blood that had been scarlet began to taint black. She wiped away the blood with her fingers that were covered in dirt and his blood. She began to cry as the warmth faded from Draco's beautiful grey eyes and they morphed into his father's.

Hermione woke with a start. She rubbed her eyes profusely as her stomach churned from the images burned into her mind from the dream. Draco hadn't called her a mudblood in over a year. But he had called her that once. Maybe this was her subconscious' way of sorting out her predicament. She would only ever cause him pain and suffering and even though he would never hurt her now. The memories of his previous actions ands words still stung. Maybe she would never truly be able to forgive him completely. Enough now. She had to keep things professional between Draco and herself. Maybe that's why he'd been so distant lately. He knew what needed to be done. He knew far more about acting a certain way in social situations. He'd been trained since birth but this was all so terrifyingly foreign and new to her.

Ginny was already getting changed as Hermione made her bed.

"Are you alright Hermione you look exhausted?"

Hermione nodded with a tight smile.

"I'm fine. You go down to breakfast with the boys. I'll catch up." She said.

Ginny nodded hesitantly as she left the room.

Hermione exhaled shakily. This had to stop. Whatever this was with Draco had to end. She hated to let Dumbledore down but she didn't see any other option right now. This impossible feeling would only continue to grow if she let it.

Ron and Ginny were trying their best to cheer Harry up at breakfast. Ginny's friend Luna was sitting between her and Neville. Luna seemed to referencing some creature called a nargle. Hermione smirked as she caught Harry's eye, who also seemed to be listening in to Luna's conversation. He returned her grin. Harry nodded his head to a spot behind Hermione's head. Hermione frowned but turned around. Pansy Parkinson was gesturing wildly to Hermione. The Slytherin table seemed to be empty apart from a few first year stragglers. Hermione's heart raced what could Pansy want with her? Oh God what if something was wrong with Draco? What if she'd found out and was going to 'out' them in front of everyone? She felt sick to her stomach.

"What does she want?" Said Ron.

Luna turned to see where Ron was looking and returned Pansy's wave since no one else seemed to be. Pansy frowned and ceased her waving momentarily as she gazed dumbfounded at Luna. Hermione inhaled deeply and began to make her way over.

"Are you mad don't go alone!" Warned Ron.

Hermione turned to him and nodded. He was probably right. Ginny was glaring darkly at Pansy. Bad idea. She smiled at Luna. Never in her life had she ever thought Luna would be a safe option.

"Luna would you?"

Luna nodded and returned her smile.

"Of course."

Hermione smiled gratefully. Luna was completely insane but she was also a very caring and loyal person.

They made their way over and sat down opposite Pansy. At least the table would provide a barrier if necessary.

"I'm Luna. Nice to meet you." Said Luna extending her hand across to Pansy.

Pansy frowned at her glancing at Hermione who gave her a sympathetic look for the first time in her life. Luna was a lot to take in on the first meeting. And every meeting thereafter if she was honest.

"Pansy Parkinson." She said awkwardly as she gripped her hand.

Pansy was rather taken aback by the strange girl who called herself Luna but she cleared her throat and continued.

"Draco wants you to meet him before the game."

Hermione flushed. She glanced at Luna fearfully but found her big blue eyes roving over a spot about a foot above Pansy's head.

Why would Pansy tell her that? And why would Draco have told Pansy bloody Parkinson about their secret meetings?!

"Why? I mean I don't have anything to do with D-Malfoy."

Pansy smiled.

"You really are a terrible liar Granger. Now go on there isn't much time. He'll be in the locker room with the rest of the team. Draco always waits around the side for a few minutes before the game. Meet him there. He'll be alone."

Hermione frowned and stared open mouthed at Pansy. What the hell was going on here?

Before Pansy could retort Luna turned to Hermione with a smile.

"Oh so that's why he's different now. Because he likes you."

Hermione looked between Pansy and Luna her face heating. Was there anyone that didn't know more about this than her? Even Luna! Was it really that obvious?

"Why are you telling me this? You hate me." Stated Hermione.

Pansy shrugged.

"I care about Draco and I know you do too."

Hermione felt jealousy snake through her veins. Pansy loved Draco. There it was, the truth. Proof if Hermione needed any that she had to back off now. She would go see Draco but after that she would put a stop to this. Dumbledore would understand wouldn't he? She had to get out of here. She nodded at both Pansy and Luna briskly before marching out of the great hall. Harry glanced at her worriedly and she gave him a reassuring smile. Harry returned it. She was getting better at this acting thing. She'd even fooled herself into thinking everyone would turn out all right.

She exhaled shakily as she stood in the middle of the grounds. She watched students filing towards the stands. She should go get a seat and wait on her friends.

"He'll be alone."

Hermione's heart thumped in her chest as Pansy's words echoed in her head. She felt that tug in her chest and behind her navel that made her gravitate towards him. She glanced across to the locker rooms. He was in there she could feel it. Before she knew what she was doing she was already walking away from the crowds making their way to the stands and towards him.

Draco exhaled deeply. He watched his breath cloud in the air. It was cold. But clear. Perfect conditions. His hands shook at his sides. The nerves were kicking in. He heard his team mates mumbled voices and laughter from within the locker room. He heard the sound of footsteps crunching in the frost covered grass. His eyes widened slightly. What was Hermione doing here? His stomach knotted.

"Only me. Sorry no toast this time." She said with a tight smile.

Draco smiled shyly. Hermione seemed tense to him. She was trying to keep their banter light like usual but she looked nervous. She was biting her lip and her arms were crossed over her chest defensively. She looked beautiful though as always. Her hair was swept up in a messy ponytail so he could see her face fully. It took all of his restraint not to kiss her right now.

"So what did you want to see me about so urgently?" She asked gently when he didn't say anything.

Draco frowned.

"I didn't? I mean don't get me wrong I always want to see you but I didn't…"

Hermione flushed. Bloody Pansy Parkinson! She'd sent her here to make a fool of herself. Telling him it was her would be pointless now. It would be exactly what Pansy had intended.

She shrugged.

"It doesn't matter. Well I guess I should go then." She said coolly.

Draco nodded in agreement even though he desperately wanted to reach out and pull her close.

"You'll do great." She said with a soft smile.

Draco's knotted stomach did a backflip.

"Thanks."

Hermione stood in the cold her eyes flicking between Draco's eyes and the frost covered grass. Draco was leaning against the outer locker room wall. God he looked beautiful. Stupid handsome face and Quidditch robes! She couldn't think straight. He seemed to be about to say something but his mouth closed quickly. Hermione frowned. He'd been doing that a lot lately.

"Ever since Hogsmeade you've been doing that." She blurted out.

Draco frowned.

"Doing what?"

Hermione shrugged. She hadn't meant to bring it up.

"Holding back. You can tell me anything you know."

Draco shook his head. So she'd noticed. Of course she had. Great. He swept his hair out of his face. Shit. His heart was racing like a freight train.

"Not this. It's bad." He said quietly.

Hermione's face softened and she stepped closer to him. Draco attempted to melt into the wall. Her hands were warm on the top of his arms. Her rose scented hair invaded his senses. Damn it. Push her off. Push her off. Don't let her come any closer.

"Tell me. After the game we'll talk."

Draco nodded. Fuck he'd forgotten all about the game now she was here.

"Good luck." She said.

Draco nodded giving her a tentative smile.

"Thanks."

Hermione turned to leave.

"Don't I get a good luck kiss this time?" He asked.

Hermione turned to him had he really asked her that? Her entire body was pulsing. It was like there was a magnet inside Draco's body that was pulling her towards him.

Draco inwardly cringed. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. So stupid. Why the bloody hell had he said that? He would somehow have to use the time turner. Steal Potter's invisibility cloak. Knock himself out before he started spouting nonsense to Hermione and then –

"Close your eyes." She said.

Hermione was surprised that her voice wasn't as shaky as she felt inside. Draco was nervously flexing his fingers she knew he hadn't meant to blurt that out. But she was glad he had. So he wanted her to kiss him? Or maybe he'd been joking? There was only one way to find out. If he had wanted to kiss her she wondered why he hadn't kissed her before now. Draco Malfoy was hardly one to be shy about something like that. They'd been alone loads since Hogsmeade and there had been a few instances where she'd thought he was going to kiss her. But he always pulled away from her. If it wasn't out of shyness then what? Was it because he was as conflicted as she was? She knew this was completely bloody stupid. The stupidest idea she'd ever had but suddenly in that moment a strange buzzing seemed to have invaded her brain clearing all rational thought from it.

"I wasn't being serious you know I –"

"Close your eyes." She said more firmly this time.

Draco hesitated before screwing his eyes shut tight. Hermione smiled at his screwed up expression. What did he think she was going to do? God what was she going to do? She knew what to do but she didn't know how. Surely it was easy like the way they did in the movies right? Just do it Hermione for goodness sake! Her heart felt like it was going to burst through her ribcage at any moment.

He waited with bated breath for a slap that he undoubtedly deserved but that slap never came.

"Don't open your eyes until I tell you. And just so you know I'm not doing this because you asked alright." She whispered as she drew close to his face.

She stood on tiptoe and pressed their chests together. She felt their hearts beating together. There were a million tiny electric shocks jumping between their bodies. The cord between them tightened and pulled them together finally. She heard him gasp and she had one last moment of hesitance before she pressed her lips against his. At first she wanted to pull away because it felt like she'd been hit by lightning. The buzzing in her brain thrummed through her entire body. He was trembling against her and she knew he could feel the strange sensation too. She ignored it and after a few moments the buzzing ceased.

His lips were warm and soft but deadly still. He was still holding back. She experimentally brushed her lips against his and she felt him respond gently. Her fingers moved from his shoulders to the nape of his neck. So this is what kissing felt like. It was warm and soft and wonderful. She could taste mint from his mouth which had loosened beneath her lips. His fingers began tracing her sides lightly and the simple action sent strange tingles throughout her body. Did all kisses feel like this? She should pull away. This is usually the part in the movie where tongues and saliva got involved and she wasn't sure she was ready for that yet. She pulled back her heart racing still and she placed a gentle kiss just below his jaw. She felt his pulse point jump beneath her lips. She inhaled his scent. She wanted to feel this way all of the time. Oh. So that's why people liked kissing so much.

"Good luck." She whispered as she parted from him and ran to the stands as fast as her legs would carry her.

What had she done? She didn't glance back. She was too afraid to. If she had she would have seen him still standing there with his eyes obediently closed. She'd just kissed Draco Malfoy. What the hell was she thinking?! Pansy was going to kill her before anyone else even got the chance. She shouldn't have kissed him. Yet she so desperately wanted to kiss him again. Her stupid hormones and emotions were messing everything up.

He was dreaming clearly. He licked his lips. They tasted like vanilla lip balm. They tasted like her. His body was burning and throbbing from one fucking closed mouth, inexperienced kiss. What the hell?! But it wasn't just any kiss it was Hermione's. She'd bestowed a kiss upon him. HIM. Why would she do that? He placed his fingers at his pulse point where her lips had been. He groaned as he banged the back of his head against the wall. Crap. You should've pushed her away you weak hearted bastard. He'd never felt anything like that before. It was as if whatever was inside him had reacted with whatever was inside of her. Like wand cores. Like magic. His lips and fingers were tingling still. He opened his eyes begging her still to be there but he knew she was gone. What now Draco? You've fucked it up big time. She won't talk to you anymore. Great.

"Oi! Draco what the hell are you doing? We need to get on that pitch!" Shouted Flint.

Draco nodded as he walked to the pitch numbly clutching his broom with shaking fingers. He smiled as he watched his breath cloud in the air. Hermione Granger had kissed him. Impossible as it seemed it was the truth. Winning a quidditch match seemed so insignificant now. He soared above the pitch feeling his heart lift into the clouds. Nothing would ever feel better than this feeling.

Hermione paced back and forth in front of Dumbledore's office. The halls were filled with cheers and merriment. Ravenclaw had won, narrowly. Malfoy had played well but seemed oddly distracted. Hermione felt she was possibly to blame for that. She felt awful. How could she have been so stupid? She would just tell Dumbledore and this whole Draco problem would just go away.

"Miss Granger? Shouldn't you be out celebrating with Mr Potter and Mr Weasley?" Asked Professor McGonagall who was exiting the office.

Hermione jumped slightly started by her voice.

McGonagall gave her a look of concern her stern face softening.

"You look awfully pale. Come on let's have some tea and shortbread shall we?" She asked giving Hermione's shoulder a pat.

Hermione nodded dumbly.

She sipped her tea self consciously. She felt a hint of embarrassment at asking a woman as sensible as McGonagall if she could stop her lessons with Malfoy. She'd probably never experienced stupid boy problems like this. She aspired to be as strong as Professor McGonagall some day. But now as she sat biting her lip she felt like such an idiot. How could she possibly be like her when she was wrapped up in stupid romance crap? Who was she becoming? Someone pathetic that's who.

Professor McGonagall sighed and pushed her glasses further up the bridge of her nose.

"Miss Granger you are by far my best student. Mr Malfoy although…difficult to deal with at times is also one of my best students. Academically he is a very smart young man but his behaviour leaves much to be desired. However, as of late I have seen a vast improvement in his attitude. And I can only attribute that to your influence. Do you really wish to stop these lessons when already the improvements are clear? Neither of you have mentioned any problems to either myself, Professor Dumbledore or Professor Snape. You seem to be getting along rather well."

Hermione blushed from her compliments as she nibbled on her shortbread.

She shook her head. It would be stupid to stop them over personal feelings.

"That's the problem." She said shyly with a blush.

"Oh." Replied McGonagall her eyes widening slightly and her thin mouth puckering.

"Professor I tried to just keep things civil with him… I feel so stupid. I want to assure you things are very professional between us but-"

"You don't know how long they can remain that way." She said matter of factly with a gentle smile.

Hermione frowned as her flush deepened. She wasn't mad at her.

"I'm not in trouble."

Mcgonagall shook her head and her smile widened.

"Goodness no! Miss Granger I am not one to encourage romantic entanglements in the classroom but outside of it I have absolutely no control. Your transfiguration essay you handed in last week received full marks. There won't be any more assignments before the holidays. You've earned a well deserved break from the books don't you think? Now run along I'm sure you'd like to join your friends in celebrating. Or perhaps someone that might need consoling?" She added cryptically.

Hermione nodded as she numbly made her way out McGonagall's office. Had that really just happened? McGonagall's words rang in her head. She was telling her to spend time with Malfoy in a non academic way. That couldn't be right could it?

Hermione almost completely walked past Pansy in a daze until she waved a perfectly hand in front of her face.

"You must be some kisser Granger to make Draco that distracted. Hope that kiss was worth Draco losing the game." She said with a smirk.

"He told you about that!" She exclaimed flushing darkly.

Pansy laughed.

"I knew it!"

Hermione fumed. That manipulative little witch.

"You did that on purpose. You lied earlier –"

"Blah blah blah. You should be thanking me." Said Pansy coolly as she examined a chip on her pale pink polished nail.

Hermione frowned.

"What?"

Pansy shook her head. Bloody hell she and Draco would need all the help they could get. Hermione looked so cute when she blushed like that and her nose wrinkled. Draco was one lucky bastard.

"Draco's moping down in the Slytherin common room. Everyone else is heading up to the Ravenclaw party after dinner. You'll be alone. You're welcome by the way." She said with a wink.

Hermione frowned.

"Why are you being nice to me?" She asked in confusion.

Pansy shrugged.

"Why not? If Draco likes you I suppose I'd better get used to having you around. You can both hide out in my room if you want. I won't be back till late I'm going to the party your mad Ravenclaw friend invited me." She said with a smile and a shake of her head.

Hermione smiled. Typical Luna.

"Right." She said numbly.

"I'll cover for you if your friends ask questions. The password is: pureblood…sorry. Say it to the wall to the left of the door. Now go." She said pushing her towards the dungeons.

Hermione couldn't believe this. Why would Pansy do all this for her? What did she get from this? Her brain was aching. Pansy looked so different when she smiled. She actually looked pretty.

"Pansy I don't know why you're doing this for me but thankyou."

Pansy blushed and her heart gave a little skip as Hermione smiled at her. Lucky bloody bastard. He owed her big time.

"Just promise me you won't break his heart all right? I've never seen him like this so don't start anything if you've only got half arsed feelings for him." She said seriously.

Hermione nodded as Pansy left her in the hallway. She had no idea what her feelings were but whatever they were they weren't half arsed. Hermione never did anything half arsed. She committed herself to everything heart and soul. She blushed at Pansy's words. Never? Maybe whatever this was between her and Draco was a first for him too. Today had been a very odd day and as she made her way to the Slytherin common rooms and as she entered the snake pit she knew it would only get weirder.

Malfoy lay on his bed after his shower. His mind was whirring ceaselessly replaying the feel of her lips and the blur of the game afterwards. His father was going to be so pissed. He couldn't concentrate on the game at all. Cho Chang was a pretty good seeker he had to admit and she hadn't been distracted by a pre game kiss from Hermione Granger. Why the bloody hell had she kissed him anyway?

"Hello?" Malfoy frowned.

It sounded like Granger. But how in the hell?

He quickly pulled a t-shirt over his head.

He made his way to the common room. He stood stock still on the stairs as Hermione stood facing him. She looked around the dark room filled with leather couches hesitantly. This place was unfamiliar to her. It was nothing like Gryffindor common room. She didn't belong here. She glanced back towards him and blushed. She didn't belong with him either.

"Hi." He said quietly.

"Hi." She replied lamely.

"How did you get in here?" He asked as he came down the stairs to meet her.

"Pansy told me the password. Not that it'd be hard to guess." She said her lips tightening slightly.

Malfoy sighed. Bloody Pansy. She had no right to meddle! He knew she would pull something like this! She'd probably had a hand in this morning as well. He should probably thank her if he was honest. But right now he was mad at her.

"Oh." He replied.

Pansy knew shit about him that he most definitely didn't want Hermione to know about…yet. He did not want them becoming too chummy.

Her heart was racing. Her emotions were all over the place. She had no idea how to deal with him right now. Oh God. Why had she listened to Pansy?

The silence seemed to rage on forever and Hermione couldn't quite bring herself to look Draco in the eye.

Malfoy exhaled and pinched the bridge of his nose in agitation.

"I knew that this would happen."

Hermione crossed her arms as she frowned.

"What would?" She asked.

"That things would get weird between us."

She calmed down as she saw how completely worried and unsure he also seemed about their current situation. Maybe he was scared about all of this too.

Hermione sighed. Ok. Stick to what you do know. Deal with this logically and systematically.

"Sit. Let's talk." She said as she sat on the couch nearest her and patted the spot beside her.

He hesitated and for a moment she thought he wouldn't come over. Maybe she'd already messed up things too much to repair them. He nodded and sat next to her. They sat in silence neither really sure where to begin. But someone had to.

"Why have you been acting all weird with me since Hogsmeade? What's wrong is it something…at home? Something bad?" She asked gently.

Draco shook his head. His heart was pounding in his chest. Just let it out she deserves to know the ugly truth.

"It is bad but it isn't to do with home… I like you Hermione."

Hermione felt like her heart had stopped beating. She felt so warm. His words coiled around her brain. They didn't make any sense to her.

"Oh…" She replied numbly her voice barely above a whisper.

Draco nodded sadly. This was it. She was going to slap him and walk out of this room right now in complete disgust. He'd never felt so pathetic in all his life. Real smooth Draco. Ugh.

She was still here. He might as well chance his luck.

"Why did you kiss me today?" He asked quietly.

He dreaded her answer in the silence.

"Because I wanted to." She replied shyly.

Draco felt his chest warm at her words. Ok, well that was a good sign.

"Look let's be logical about this." Started Hermione with a weary sigh.

Draco smiled. Typical Hermione.

"O…k." Said Draco hesitantly.

"Look I have no idea what this is between us and maybe that's ok right now. This whole situation between us shouldn't be happening. But it is. It's completely stupid and dangerous. I'm terrified of messing this up. I have absolutely no experience in this area whatsoever but I know that I don't want to stop this, do you?" She asked hesitantly.

Draco shook his head.

"Ok. Good." Said Hermione awkwardly.

"So what happens now?" He asked.

"I don't know…I thought you knew all about this relationship stuff?" She said feeling jealousy begin to boil inside her.

Malfoy grimaced.

"Sorry. I've never actually had a proper one before that wasn't just…you know…physical stuff."

Hermione blushed. Oh. Oh God what if he wanted her to do things with him. Now. She was very aware of the fact that they were alone. In the dungeons. Bloody Pansy!

Draco seemed to sense her tension. He took her hand gently.

"That isn't what I want with you by the way. I promise. I won't touch you until you ask. All I want is to just spend time with you like this. I swear." He said.

Hermione relaxed considerably. She gazed into his eyes and felt the tension leave her. She trusted Draco. There was nothing to be afraid of. Not with him.

"Ok." She said with a hesitant smile.

"I don't want you to get hurt Hermione –"

"I won't. Your family won't get to me-we'll be careful. "

"No. Hurt by me." He said meaningfully.

Hermione frowned.

"But-"

"You really shouldn't be with me. You should be with someone that's a better person. Someone good. Someone that's better at this stuff. You know someone that can treat you right and buy you flowers and take you out on dates not someone that has to keep you secret."

Hermione took his face in her hands gently and he stopped talking. She was looking at him so intently. It made his organs feel like they were made of jelly.

"I'll decide who I want to be with for myself thanks. I don't want flowers I just want…you. We'll figure this out. Together." She said.

Draco Malfoy had never heard anything so wonderful in his entire life. His selfish heart was filling with joy. She made him feel so happy. She wanted him. Only him. He'd never been enough for anyone before. He'd never dared to give a piece of his heart away to anyone out of fear. But he would give all of his crippled, black heart to Hermione if she asked.

"Promise me you won't keep anything from me anymore." She asked.

He nodded.

"I promise." He said.

"Good. Now shut up and kiss me. First some ground rules though. Number 1: We take this slow and keep it secret for obvious reasons. Number 2, No tongue kissing. I'm so not ready for saliva that isn't my own to end up in my mouth and finally number 3 no sticking your tongue in anyone else's mouth either. Do you have any additions?" She asked as she wrinkled her nose at the thought of Draco kissing Pansy.

Draco burst out laughing and Hermione frowned.

Draco gazed at her with his gentle grey eyes. She wanted him to kiss her and he was only too happy to appease her. His heart was thundering in his chest.

"Trust you to know how to kill the romance Granger. I like it when you boss me around though it's quite sexy." He said teasingly.

Hermione shoved his shoulders lightly but couldn't help the shy smile spreading across her face.

She was nervous. He watched her beautiful brown eyes darken and widen. Her hands were shaking on his shoulders. He smiled at her reassuringly. Hermione gazed at him hesitantly. His hands were at her waist softly tracing circles over hipbones. Her hands slipped from his shoulders to behind his neck as they sat facing one another on the couch. Hermione sat legs in a basket. Draco's leg that was curled beneath him brushed against hers. His other leg was draped idly off the couch. He was being so patient and gentle with her. She trusted him. She'd thought about how his tongue might feel against hers. She shivered. No. Not yet. It was too fast. Even though her body wanted to she wasn't ready. She rolled her eyes at him and he grinned.

"Alright. I agree to your terms. I promise I'll keep my tongue in my own mouth…for now."

Hermione nodded gratefully. She closed her eyes and waited for him to close the distance before she opened them again and placed her palm over his chest. She felt it beating wildly against her shaking fingers. This was stupid. No matter how much they wanted this she was going to wreck his reputation forever.

"We shouldn't. This, what we're doing it isn't…allowed. If anyone found out you'd get hurt. You'd get in trouble. I don't want you to get hurt again." She said her face full of concern for him.

Malfoy sighed.

"I know. But I don't care anymore. You make me feel like anything could be possible Hermione. Maybe even this."

Hermione flushed and gasped as he pressed her palm more firmly against his chest with his own hand. His heart, it was beating for her. Only for her. She looked at their fingers interlacing pale white and lightly tanned. He was right. They had to at least try because if they denied their feelings she knew she would regret not being brave enough to act on them for the rest of her life. She knew that sounded completely crazy but she knew it was the truth. Hermione nodded. They had to at least try.

Malfoy inhaled shakily she was so beautiful and she was letting him kiss her. He watched her sooty lashes flicker closed. Her cheeks were flushed. Her fingers shook slightly behind his neck. He shivered. He let his fingers dig into her hips a little more firmly. His heart was going to burst out of his chest.

Hermione frowned. Why was he taking so long?

"What's wrong?" She whispered.

"Nothing." He answered. And that was the truth.

"You're beautiful you know." He said shyly.

Hermione's eyes snapped open. What? She hadn't heard that right had she? Draco's eyes were hazy and the darkest she'd ever seen them. She swallowed thickly as her heart thumped in her chest. Bloody hell he was gorgeous. And he was calling her beautiful.

She snorted trying to act cool.

"Bet you say that to all the girls." She said letting her eyes fall from his. He tilted her chin up so her eyes locked with his once more.

"No. You are you know."

Draco enjoyed watching the flush spread down her throat delicate throat that he desperately wanted to kiss too.

"No I'm not. Honestly when someone like you calls me beautiful I just can't believe it. Sorry." She said with a shake of her head.

Malfoy frowned.

"Someone like me?"

"Someone who's beautiful in a way that everyone notices. You are you know. Don't deny it."

Malfoy blushed and shook his head.

"People notice you Hermione you're just far too modest to realise. You know someone wise once told me mirrors don't truly reflect someone. And that we can only be truly seen in another's eyes."

Hermione smiled as she heard her own words recited back to her. Stupid smooth Malfoy lines turning her heart to mush.

"Right."

Draco held her face in his hands and closed the distance between them. There was nothing more to say. They'd already made their minds up. This was stupid and reckless but if they didn't give in to their feelings they would both surely go mad.

He let his fingers tangle in her hair as her rosy lips moved hesitantly against his. Even if his father killed him he didn't care. He'd kissed a fair few girls but this was different. Every part of his body was tingling just from her gentle touch. Her lips softened beneath his as vanilla, lavender and rose swirled through his brain. He desperately tried to hold back. He wanted to taste her lip balm with his tongue but he'd made a promise. He'd behave. Hermione's gentle fingers were playing with the fine hairs at the nape of his neck. He shuddered. Why did this feel so good? Is this what kissing was supposed to feel like? He could feel every pulse of her body against him and they were barely touching. What was this? It was powerful and flowed between them and through them.

Hermione pulled away gently and Draco already missed the contact. Hermione's eyes opened slowly her eyes were hazy and heavy. Draco's lips were reddened and slightly fuller from kissing. It was an entirely tempting sight. She shuddered as she remembered her dream. Her lips would hurt him in the end but she couldn't stop wanting them now she'd had a taste. Oh bloody hell this was a disaster!

"Does kissing always feel like that?" She asked breathlessly.

Draco shook his head.

"No. With you it's like something inside me –"

"Is reacting with something inside me." She whispered.

Draco nodded. So she felt it too. What was it? They didn't know. It was scary and powerful but also wonderful.

Hermione frowned this feeling was so odd. She tentatively ran her index finger over Draco's soft lips. He closed his eyes from the feeling of her ministrations. She felt his breath tickle against her finger lightly. She let her fingers familiarise themselves with the contours of his face before she leant forwards and kissed him again. She wondered if the feeling ever got boring. It didn't feel like it would. If this is what kissing felt like with him what would other things feel like? She reprimanded herself as she let her worries and fears slip away in the feeling of his lips against hers. He pulled back from her with a soft smile that made her heart flutter.

Draco tentatively placed a soft kiss at the juncture between her jaw and throat. She shivered as his soft warms lips pressed against the sensitive skin there.

"Sorry you lost today." She whispered shakily.

Draco pulled back and gave her a crooked smile.

"I didn't. Not really." He said with a shrug.

Hermione blushed and she didn't protest when he kissed her again. Each time she felt that little voice in her head warning her not to get in too deep with Draco Malfoy fading to silence.

AN: Yikes guys I dunno how I feel about this one. I swear next one will flow better. Had to get through a lot of stuff there. Next chapter we have Christmas at Hogwarts! I love you all mwah!


	10. I Never Minded Being On My Own

AN: Thankyou so much for the follows and faves on this story. And also to my reviewers you make me smile and I love hearing from you. Speak to me I'm nice I swear.

This chapter I'm listening to: Florence & The Machine – Wish that you were here.

 **Chapter 10 – I Never Minded Being On My Own Then Something broke in me and I wanted to go home. To be where you are.**

It was the afternoon of the 22nd of December and thick snow was falling all over Hogwarts. Draco smiled as he thought of how much Hermione would be enjoying the weather right now. But he couldn't enjoy it with her. He felt his heart sink further as he watched Potter, Weasley and Hermione trudge across the grounds to Hagrid's cabin in the ankle deep fresh powder. He felt a jealous twinge in the pit of his stomach as Hermione flung her arms around the both of them. He heard their laughter float up to him from the otherwise silent castle. He sighed.

"Ugh Draco it really pains me to see you being this pathetic all because of that little witch." Said Pansy with a teasing grin.

Draco scowled at her.

"Piss off Pansy. Go pack or something." He said coldly.

"Alright don't be so touchy just because I'm right. Now stop moping and come help me. Do you think I should wear the black silk or the scarlet velvet to the Malfoy Christmas dinner?" She asked deep in thought.

Draco groaned and rolled his eyes as he begrudgingly followed her to the Slytherin dorm.

He and Pansy were the only Slytherin's left in Hogwarts. They were meeting their parents at the station tomorrow before heading home. Most of the students had left yesterday and only the few spending Christmas at Hogwarts remained. It was very quiet around the usually bustling castle. The halls were decked with garlands of enchanted holly and mistletoe. The scents of cinnamon and cloves had begun to waft up from the Christmas food the elves were no doubt already preparing in the kitchens. It should all invoke feelings of warmth and joy. He wouldn't know. Christmas always left Draco feeling oddly cold and alone.

The holidays meant Draco had to go home to the place he hadn't classed as home for a long time. Home to that awful, cold, draughty manor and to his even colder father. He would be trapped in that prison for two whole weeks. The only consolation was that he would get to see his mother too and at least they were granted one night without his presence. His father spent his Christmas Eve drinking expensive brandy with his inner circle of ex-death eater chums. Until his sixteenth birthday Draco would be spared from that torture at least. And then Christmas day was always an elaborate affair with his family either hosting or attending a grand dinner prepared by a fleet of their house elves attended by all of the closest families from the sacred twenty eight. This year was their turn to host. Draco was already completely dreading the ensuing pureblood circus. Their house elves would already be preparing for the elaborate feast at this very moment. They simply couldn't be outdone by the Flint's soiree last year according to his mother and father. He was entirely disinterested by the whole charade. He missed the simplicity of the Christmases of his childhood. He missed the closeness, the warmth. His father had put a stop to all of that just like everything else.

He remembered being very small and creeping down the stairs barefoot in his pyjamas trying not to make a sound in the creaky, airy mansion. He couldn't have been older than six or seven. It was still dark on Christmas morning and powdery snow was slowly filling up on the windowsill. He had been too excited to sleep. He crept into the sitting room and crawled beneath the Pine Christmas tree to the presents. His small fingers tried to claw through the wrapping unsuccessfully.

"And just what do you think you are doing young man?"

Draco froze and raised his eyes to his mothers. It was early but she was still dressed in a fine emerald green dress. Her lips were their usual ruby and her blonde hair was perfectly coiffed. He wondered if other mums looked like this all the time or if they walked around in their pyjamas too? He sheepishly put the present down afraid he would get in trouble but then his mother had gently ruffled his baby soft white blonde hair with her fingers.

She grinned at him and crouched down on the floor beside him as she whispered to him.

"Well go on then you can open one before your father wakes up." She said.

His eyes had widened and he began tearing the wrapping off gleefully. It was his first broomstick. He'd instantly flung his arms around his mother's neck inhaling the scent of honeysuckle from her perfume. She squeezed him so tight that he'd thought no harm would ever be able to come to him.

"It's the best! I love you mother."

He felt her grip tighten around his middle.

"I love you too. Now come on I'll make you a hot chocolate and blueberry pancakes." She whispered as she placed a tender kiss at his temple.

Her voice sounded strangely weak to him in that moment but she looked happy.

Draco grinned.

"You will? Yours taste so much better than when Pip makes them. But don't tell her I said that because I think that might make her sad."

His mother laughed and she took his hand gently in hers.

"You're so thoughtful Draco." She said meaningfully her brown eyes intent on his.

He nodded even although he didn't quite understand.

"Why can we only do fun things without father?"

His mother's eyes had filled with tears then but she plastered a smile over her painted lips as she led him by the hand to the kitchens.

"Because your father thinks I spoil you. He thinks that you won't grow up big and strong if I baby you too much." She said lightly but her voice had cracked as she started measuring the ingredients and whisking the pancake batter with the tip of her wand.

Draco watched her perform magic and he was captivated for a few for a few moments before his thoughts turned to his father.

"He doesn't love me."

Narcissa's incessant beating of the pancake batter stilled.

"Of course he does darling. Don't think like that." She said desperately as she cupped her baby boy's angelic face.

He already looked so like his father. But Draco was far more sensitive and thoughtful than his father had ever been. He was so sweet and innocent but Lucius called him weak. He couldn't see the immense strength she saw in her son. Draco was already smarter than most boys his age and very kind and considerate but those were not attributes Lucius cared for. He wanted Draco to become…like him. She hoped for her little boy's sake that he wouldn't. She still loved her husband with all of her heart but he was cruel and cold. And sometimes she wondered if he had ever really loved her. Or Draco.

Could she really watch her little boy become a Death Eater like his father? It was what was expected of him. Any pureblood mother should have been proud. But that had all changed when she'd held him in her arms for the first time. She would protect him from all harm with all she had. She didn't want that life for Draco. No. She wouldn't let that happen. Not to her little boy. He wouldn't serve the Dark Lord if she had anything to do with it. She scooped him up in her arms and Draco clung onto her not sure why his mother was crying. It had been the only time she'd ever cried in front of him.

As the memory faded he realised now that she was cried because she was powerless like he was to do anything. Soon after that Christmas his father began to chastise any tenderness she showed towards him and he towards her. There had been no more cuddles or kisses. No more pancakes or hot chocolate made by her while his father was around at the very least.

Not long after that his father had confronted him.

"A boy of your age should be able to stand on his own two feet without clinging to his mother's hand like a baby. You don't want everyone to think you're still a baby do you Draco? It isn't becoming of a man to show his…feelings so… openly. Understand?" His father's words had been venomous.

That was the first time Draco ever coherently remembered fearing his father.

"Yes Sir." He replied quietly.

His father had nodded towards him with curt nod of approval before he left him standing alone in the draughty hall of the manor that towered over his 7 year old frame. He felt so desperately weak and alone and he wanted nothing more than to squeeze his mother's hand as he drank a cup of her hot cocoa. But that wasn't allowed anymore. He wanted to cry but he was afraid his father would only accuse him of being a baby again. So he had held all of these tears inside like everything else. But now Hermione was tearing down those carefully constructed emotionless walls brick by brick and his emotions were slowly seeping out through the cracks.

Draco packed away a small case of clothes with a weary sigh. He and Hermione had been living in a glorious bubble in the room of requirement for the past two weeks. But now it was time for him to face his own reality. One without happiness. Without warmth. And without her. He had to see her tonight. Seeing her might make his next torturous two weeks almost bearable.

Hermione smiled as she felt the snowflakes brush against her lips. Draco's lips felt softer than snowflakes she knew that now. She blushed as that familiar heat coiled around her body when she thought of him. She was just heading back from Hagrid's with the boys. They were currently engaged in a snowball fight and Hermione sighed with happiness as she watched Harry and Ron laughing as they launched giant snowballs at each other's heads. The only thing that could have made her happier was to have Draco here too. But that was impossible. She realised she would miss him for the two weeks he would be gone. God she was becoming more pathetic by the day it was scary. She grinned as Hedwig fluttered down to Harry's shoulder with a letter. She was perfectly camouflaged but for her amber eyes and black markings against the snow.

"It's for you Mione." He said tossing the letter towards her.

She frowned but her heart gave a thrill as her eyes fell on her name written in the sharp, neat, angled letters of Draco Malfoy.

"Meet me tonight at 8 out on the pitch. I still owe you that flying lesson. Draco."

She felt her heart flutter as it always did when she thought of seeing him. At first she'd been terrified by becoming closer to Draco. She had no idea what she was doing. What if he expected things from her physically now? Would he get bored of waiting? But that fear had been quickly dispelled he'd been true to his word. Draco seemed to just genuinely enjoy being with her even if they weren't kissing or touching. She couldn't understand why but if he felt like she did then perhaps she was beginning to.

She liked nothing more than when they'd talk or read cuddled together on the couch in the room of requirement. His long pale fingers would trace patterns mindlessly onto her shoulder as he wrapped his arm around her. And her ear would lie flat against his firm chest as she listened to the most beautiful sound in the world. His heartbeat. He made her feel so secure and so vulnerable all at once. It was maddening and outrageously addictive.

There was tenderness and insecurity in his countenance when he was with her. It was buried deep beneath his sharp wit and tongue but he let her glimpse it from time to time and those moments were the most special of all. She got the feeling he was sharing with her a private part of himself that she doubted he'd shared with many people before, if anyone. And that made her feel so immensely privileged.

On one particularly cosy night they had spent together earlier this week she had felt her feelings deepen for him once more. He had wormed his way into her heart and the space he vacated in there was growing day by day.

"How can you be with me like this? You know what I've done. What I've said. What I still do to people, to your friends…" He blurted out absently as he traced the lines in her upturned palm with his finger. Her hand was resting against his thigh as they lay on the couch together.

Hermione gazed at him evenly a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. How could she possibly think badly of him when she'd seen all the good in him?

"Because you don't mean the things you say or do. You only say them because it's what's expected of you. If you had a choice you wouldn't. You would be the way you are now with me with everyone." She replied simply.

Draco shook his head.

"I told you before I'm not a good person. No I'm only this way with you."

Hermione turned to him so they were both lying on their sides. They brought their hands together and began slowly sliding their fingers and palms against each other. They both rejoiced at the feeling. It tingled like magic that flowed from their fingertips through their bodies transferring freely from one to the other.

"Yes you are. Why just me?" She asked intrigued.

Draco's hand stilled on hers and he flicked his grey eyes to her dark brown ones.

"Because I can't hide from you. All my Slytherin cunning is completely useless on the likes of you." He said quietly.

Hermione smiled.

"How so?" She asked.

Draco rolled his eyes. She was so inquisitive and that was one of the things he liked about her most even though it drove him crazy.

"Because you bloody don't give up on anything or anyone until you've completely figured them out. You see the best in people, even people that really don't deserve it. People like me." He said with a shrug.

Hermione blushed at his honest admission.

"Even I might take a while to completely figure you out." She said with a teasing smile.

"Good. Then you won't get bored of me." He said gazing at her intensely.

Hermione's heart throbbed in that moment. It killed her when he said things like that. He thought she would get bored of him like everyone else had. Draco Malfoy who was so outwardly cold and confident was in fact starved of affection and she was more than happy to give him the affection he so desperately craved. That everyone craved.

"I won't ever get bored of you. Do you even realise how amazing you are?" She said with a small smile as she gently traced his cheekbone with her finger.

Draco cast his eyes downwards so she could see nothing of his eyes but the pale lids and long lashes. His heart thumped in the way that it only seemed to do with her.

"Don't say things like that." He said gently.

Hermione frowned.

"Why?" She asked.

"Because some day you'll need to take them back. Maybe not for a few weeks or months but you will."

Hermione shook her head as she snuggled her head against his neck. She let the tip of her nose run against his throat inhaling his minty meadow scent. She would never tire of doing that. She knew that for certain. She felt him tense slightly as she pressed her lips lightly against his Adam's apple which was bobbing like crazy. She grinned. It made her feel oddly powerful that she could have this type of visible effect on the ever cool Draco Malfoy.

"When I figure out something I don't stop. There's always more to discover, more to learn. Plus you're the only person that's ever made me feel like I'm not completely alone." She said.

Draco's heart was hammering in his chest. The gentleness of her voice and the sweet pressure of her lips on his throat were killing him. Her eyes were incredibly dark and they fluttered closed expectantly as he brought his face closer to hers. He smiled she was getting more comfortable and used to being close with him like this. It was completely reckless that they were both letting this continue but he didn't have the heart to stop it not when it made them feel like this. Everything just seemed to fade away when he was with her. Just before his lips touched hers he spoke. He needed to address the impact of her words before he let their lips meet. Why was he the only person to make her feel like that? He'd never been anyone's only…anything. The feeling made his stomach flutter nervously.

"You have other friends. You're not alone."

Hermione pursed her lips disappointedly that his lips weren't on hers. She exhaled and rolled her eyes at him.

"You're more infuriating than anyone I've ever encountered." She said teasingly.

"If I'm so infuriating then why do you stay?"

Hermione smirked.

"I already told you why. Yes I have friends. Dear friends, but even so I've always felt like they didn't quite understand me. I never minded being on my own…but then you came along and everything changed. Was it the same for you?" She whispered shyly.

Draco looked at her intently. The thought of him exposing his soul to her, what little of it remained, was terrifying. But he felt it too and he had to let her know. He hadn't minded being alone either but now he didn't have to be. She knew him better than he knew himself. He remembered a quote from class and he didn't believe he'd truly grasped the meaning until this moment. He brushed his finger along her cheek gently.

"Whatever our souls are made of-"

"His and mine are the same." She whispered.

They gazed at one another helplessly. Would this all end as horribly as it had for Kathy and Heathcliff? Neither dared voice it. He let his lips meet hers gently. He felt the now familiar tingle that jolted from her lips to his and let the feeling coursed through their bodies. This feeling wouldn't get boring and he knew that for certain. It was terrifying. Draco had been bored by everything eventually. But Hermione wasn't like everything else. Hermione wasn't like anyone he'd ever met. Life could never be boring with her. She'd thrown his life into complete chaos. Nothing was simple and nothing made sense anymore. But he'd never felt more alive. And he knew she must feel the same way or she wouldn't be in his arms kissing him back. Their souls weren't the same but they had become irrevocably connected somehow and neither of them knew the enormity of what they had begun.

It was still snowing as Hermione waited out on the pitch. It was freezing. She issued a little blue flame from her wand tip that levitated mid air. She stretched out her fingers over the flame letting the heat tingle through her fingers as she wiggled them.

She heard the crunching of approaching footsteps and smiled as her heart thumped.

"You're late." She said with a crooked smile.

"Someone's eager. Thought you said you hated flying." He asked with a quirked brow.

"I do. But you skated. I suppose it's my turn to make an arse of myself."

Draco laughed and let his fingers circle around the blue flame she'd produced. The snow and the blue flickering light illuminated the darkness around them. She really was amazing. He tentatively touched her fingers against his across the heated blue flame. Their eyes widened slightly as they watched the blue flames lick the space between their fingers. The flames sparked orange and green before returning to blue. It didn't burn either of them. It just buzzed and tingled on their fingertips like a kiss.

"That was…odd." Said Hermione with a frown.

Draco nodded. He tentatively drew his finger back to her flame.

"Draco don't you'll…it doesn't burn…" She whispered as she watched his finger become engulfed by emerald flames.

Hermione did the same and watched the flame spark orange. Her finger touched Draco's and she watched fascinated as the flames licked at their fingers without burning.

They felt the magic flow over and inside them.

"Wow." She whispered.

"How?" He asked.

Hermione's eyes were alight with intrigue and as they met Draco's she saw his were alight with the same emotion.

"I don't know." She whispered.

They broke the connection and simply gazed at one another.

"Maybe I should go to the library…"

Draco shook his head with a crooked smile.

"Oh no you don't. As strange as that was you're not getting out of this that easily. Your chariot awaits Madam." He said pointing to his already levitating Nimbus 2001.

Hermione gulped as she tentatively ran her hand over the sleek black wood. It thrummed with magic. Magic she couldn't control. Hermione had come out in only a jumper, thick leggings and boots. She must be freezing but it was a practical outfit for flying. He approved of her leggings even more than jeans. They showed her pert bum to perfection. Focus Draco. Focus. Draco was wearing a sweatshirt and the jeans his mother hated because he'd packed away everything else. He wouldn't need casual clothes where he was going he thought bitterly.

"Well go on." He said placing his hand on top of hers and guiding her to grip the broom firmly. Hermione blushed and her mouth opened.

"I'm not getting on this thing alone!" She said indignantly.

Draco rolled his eyes and laughed.

"Of course not I don't want you to end up in the hospital wing over Christmas. But you're steering I'll just provide some guidance." He said with a crooked grin.

Hermione blushed and attempted to mount the broom as confidently as she could but he noticed her hands trembling and the awkward stiffness of her position. He grinned she was so stubborn. And it was one of the sexiest things about her.

"Just relax. I promise I won't let you fall. I might let you make an arse of yourself but I'll never let you fall." He said mounting the broom and sidling up behind her.

Hermione shivered from the feeling of his chest pressed up against her back. And her bum was pressed up against…there. She'd never felt so warm in the snow in her life.

She felt him begin to push them off as he placed his hands on the outside of her forearms guiding her. Her heart was racing and it had nothing to do with the thought of flying. She felt his heart beat against her shoulder blade. His was going just as fast as hers.

"Wait I'm not ready!" She protested.

Draco laughed.

"Yes you are." He whispered in her ear as they rose into the sky slowly and a little unsteadily.

Hermione closed her eyes as the snowflakes assaulted them. She felt the wind push her hair back from her face. Her stomach dropped at the sensation of flying. Her stomach swooped again as Draco's hands guided her forearms and the broom turned in the air.

"Open your eyes or you're going to fly us right into the goalposts." He said with a snigger.

He rejoiced as her eyes flew open and she surveyed the snow covered castle and grounds. He watched her tenderly as a smile spread across her wind chapped lips. She was drinking everything in with her deep brown eyes. Her thick lashes were beaded with melting snow. Her unruly rose scented hair whipped against his cheek. She was driving him crazy simply by doing nothing at all.

"Wow." She exhaled her breath clouding in the air.

She leant forwards feeling braver now. Draco gripped her waist protectively and Hermione's heart jolted in her chest. Snow as far as the eye could see. Beautiful white grounds and snow capped Hogwarts towers. Hagrid's cabin light, the Gryffindor and Ravenclaw common rooms and Dumbledore's office lights twinkled in the darkness. It was beautiful.

"So this is why you fly." She whispered.

"Not a bad view I suppose." He said smugly.

"Not bad?" She asked incredulously.

"I know a better one. Come on. Onwards I don't have all night." He said glancing at his time turner sarcastically.

Hermione laughed and shook her head.

"Watch it Malfoy or I'll shove you off the end of this broom." She replied with a scathing look.

Malfoy raised his brow. She loved the way she said his name but she liked when she'd still call him Malfoy too. Usually when she was mad at him. This was an incredibly sexy emotion on her he had to admit.

"No you won't."

"And why not?" She replied teasingly.

"Because you can't fly this without me and also more importantly you like me too much."

Hermione blushed and bit her tongue.

"I'm finding it difficult to remember why." She said with a grin.

Draco rolled his eyes and returned her grin.

"I can help jog your memory if you like." He said suggestively.

Hermione's flush deepened and she rolled her eyes at his response but her heart was racing. Stupid Malfoy and his sexy voice!

Hermione pretty much had the hang of flying by the time they were ready to land. Draco had guided her out over the lake. She watched the water ripple with snowflakes. The mountains were entirely white against the oddly light snow clouds in the darkness. It was amazing. The air smelled like snow, wood fires and Draco's skin. Hermione wasn't sure she'd borne witness to a more beautiful night. Draco gently guided her down to the lake's edge. Landing was not her strong point. He laughed as she desperately tried to make the broom heed her will. He regained control and Hermione nervously opened her eyes as the soles of her boots crunched into the snow.

"It's alright. I've got you." He said gently squeezing her waist.

Hermione dismounted shakily and rubbed her bum.

"Beautiful views. Very uncomfortable seating." She said with a wince.

Draco smiled.

"You get used to it. I would offer to kiss it better but…" He said teasingly his grey eyes dancing.

"No one likes a kiss arse Draco." She said rolling her eyes as her cheeks tinted pink.

Draco laughed as he dismounted and he followed Hermione to the lake's edge.

With a flourish of her wand snow cleared from a log and fell onto the snow with a soft thud. The snow was up to their mid shins here. But neither of them seemed to care.

Hermione made another little blue fire and he smiled as he watched her.

"Is there anything you can't do?" He asked as he sat down.

Hermione nodded.

"Fly. I think we've just proven that." She said as she laughed and sat next to him.

"You were doing pretty well till the end there." He said honestly.

Hermione nodded graciously.

"As lovely as it was I'll keep my feet firmly on the ground for now thanks."

Draco nodded in agreement.

"Thankyou though, for showing me." She said shyly.

"Any time." He said awkwardly

They sat in silence for a few moments just gazing at their surroundings and at each other.

"So are your parents coming to pick you up tomorrow?"

"Unfortunately. Pansy and I are meeting them at the station."

Hermione stiffened.

"Oh."

Draco smirked.

"You aren't still jealous of her are you?"

Hermione huffed indignantly. She sounded pathetic.

"I am _not_ jealous."

Draco grinned.

"You _are_ jealous." He said with a satisfied smirk.

Hermione scowled.

"Oh shut up!"

Draco laughed lightly but gently brushed his hand against Hermione's as her scowl deepened. It was cute seeing her get jealous over him.

"You know I don't think of Pansy like that and trust me when I say she definitely doesn't see me that way either. It's all for show." He said simply.

Hermione frowned at his statement about Pansy but she could see from his eyes that he was telling the truth. She had no reason to doubt his word.

"Is this just for show too then?" She asked with a raised brow.

Draco could see she was teasing him but there was a wary light in her eyes too. She was only half teasing.

"No. If I were pretending with you you'd know because I'd be acting like a massive arsehole."

Hermione deliberated.

"Hmmm it's quite hard to tell the difference with you though isn't it?" She said with a wide grin.

Draco's shocked expression gave way to laughter.

"Bloody hell Granger! If I wasn't such a cold hearted reptile that might have hurt." He said with a soft smile.

Hermione leant closer to him enjoying the delicious warmth of his body against hers in the snow.

"You aren't cold you're warm." She said her voice becoming muffled against Draco's jumper.

Draco felt his face heat as he pulled Hermione closer to him and they wrapped their arms around each other.

"Can I ask you something?" She asked.

Draco nodded.

"Do you still say awful things about me behind my back?" Asked Hermione quietly.

Draco felt the sickening weight of guilt fill his stomach.

"Why do you want to know that?" He asked.

"Because I think we need to be honest about each other and what this…is." She replied quietly.

Draco sighed giving into her big, brown eyes. She deserved honesty from him even if it would hurt her.

"No I don't. But a lot of Slytherin's do. I don't join in I swear. It's the same type of things your Gryffindor's say about me and don't deny it. It's just the way things are." He said.

Hermione nodded knowing his answer to be honest.

"You're right but you see if Harry and Ron knew you like I do they would be your friend. But even if your Slytherin's knew the real me it wouldn't matter. Because to them I'll always be just a filthy mudbl-"

"Don't." He said darkly.

Hermione's eyes widened at the steely look in Draco's eyes.

He put his hands on her face roughly and Hermione was almost frightened by the intensity in his eyes.

"Don't say that word understand?"

Hermione rolled her eyes trying to shake him off.

"Why? You've called me it before. It's just a word. Words don't hurt. It's what I am and if you can't admit that then maybe we really are just deluding ourselves that this can work." She said her voice becoming increasingly emotive.

She swallowed the lump in her throat and felt tears form in her eyes. Her eyes never left Draco's even though she so desperately wanted to look away. She'd let all of her deeply buried insecurity burst forth and with it came a sense of relief and also that feeling that everything was slipping from her control. Draco was making her life spin out of control in the best and the worst possible way.

"You tell yourself words don't hurt because you want to be strong. But no matter how many times you tell yourself that, it isn't true. I know because…words do hurt. They hurt more than anything. Do you think I'm proud of calling you that? I can't ever forgive myself. You aren't that word Hermione. Because who you really are is something that can't be defined by a single word. And people that do choose to define you by that word are the vilest creatures to inhabit this earth. And I know that because I was one. You aren't defined by your blood. You're defined by what's in here and here."

He said placing a gentle hand over her heart and one across her forehead.

Hermione felt her heart racing in her chest. She leant into his gentle touch. She felt warmth tingle through her being until it wrapped around her cold bones. She had to tell him how she felt. But she just didn't have the words; her head that was full of knowledge felt oddly empty in that moment. She didn't need her knowledge right now. She flung her arms around his neck impulsively and with such a force that Draco had to steady himself with his hands against the back of the log. She buried her face into the crook of his neck letting his scent and warmth fill her. She heard a surprised gasp escape his throat.

"You aren't that person anymore Draco, if you ever truly were. I forgive you. I want you to know that. And I also want you to know that if you asked me to write down all of the reasons why I like you on a piece of parchment there wouldn't be enough parchment in the whole of Flourish and Blotts. You're not some vile creature you have a heart and a soul and I wish there was a way I could make you see yourself the way I do." She whispered her voice muffled with emotion and the fact her lips were pressed against his throat.

Draco felt like his heart was physically expanding beyond the confines of his ribcage. He'd never felt so alive in all of his life. His mind was clouded by her warm, soft body and her rose scented curls that were pushing against his nostrils. He wrapped his arms around her tightly and he wished there was a way to be closer to her. He wanted their beings, their souls, to melt together and be forever fused. He never wanted anything in his life more than he wanted this. Her lips gently pressed against his jaw before finding his lips. He let the jolts of warmth and electricity move from her lips to his and back again. Her lips were purifying his black heart and soul. She was extracting all of the poison from his body like sucking venom from a snake bite.

He pulled back slightly and waited until her hazy dark eyes met his. Sometimes if he gazed into her beautiful eyes long enough he began to feel that perhaps some day he would be worthy of her attention.

"You don't know how much that means. But know no matter what I can't forgive myself for hurting you. Not ever." He said his voice surprisingly husky.

Hermione blushed at the rather enticing sound of his voice.

She nodded but pulled against him tighter against her.

"I'll keep telling you until you forgive yourself then even if it takes forever."

He held her tight and he didn't loosen his grip until his arms began to ache.

"We should go." He whispered.

"Just a little longer. We have time. I'll…miss you over Christmas you know." She said shyly.

Draco's heart was going to burst. She would miss him. Hearing her say those words made him never want to leave her side. But he had to.

"Trust me I wish I could stay here with you instead of going back…home."

He shuddered at the word.

"Maybe we could make this our home right here. Just us. No one could hurt us here."

Draco sighed.

"That sounds lovely. But it wouldn't be right to hide away from everyone like that forever.

Hermione sighed and kissed his cheek tenderly.

"You're right we can't hide forever. But just for a little while..." She said settling herself against his side comfortably.

"Just for a little while." He echoed placing a gentle kiss at her temple and squeezing her hand in his.

"Let's get inside it's bloody freezing!" Shouted Draco as they dismounted back in the castle grounds. He grabbed her hand and they ran through the snow his broom firmly gripped in his other hand.

Hermione squealed as her boots began to slip in the snow.

"Draco I'm going to fall!"

"I promised I'd never let you fall Granger and I intend to keep my promise." He said as he picked her up effortlessly and spun her around in the snow.

Her laughter filled the air and carried towards the dark and silent castle. It was late. Long past curfew. Hermione felt so happy in that moment as they spun in the snow that for the first time in her life the fear of expulsion for rule breaking never once crossed her mind.

"Students. Out of bed." Muttered Filch as Mrs Norris' lamplight eyes fixated on the young couple in the grounds.

Hermione and Draco's feet pounded and skidded on the floors as they attempted to evade Filch and Mrs Norris. That map the twins had given Harry would really come in handy right now. They rounded a corner and skidded to a halt in front of Professor Dumbledore. He had on a festive holly rimmed night cap and candy striped pyjamas beneath a velvet dressing gown. The sight would have been comical had both Draco and Hermione not been about to be expelled.

They both froze and Draco stood in front of Hermione protectively as he squeezed her hand.

"Professor it was my idea really. Granger had nothing –"

Dumbledore pressed a finger to his lips and pointed to the broom cupboard to his right.

Malfoy and Hermione frowned at one another and then at Dumbledore before flying into the cupboard at the sound of Filch's approaching foosteps.

Hermione and Draco attempted to quiet their breathing in the dark broom cupboard that smelled faintly of dust, broom polish and damp. Hermione was pressed right up against Draco I the space. She could feel every line of his hard, slim body against her. She shivered and Draco wrapped his arms around her thinking she was cold. They let their eyes adjust in the darkness and pressed their ears to the wooden door.

"Argus to what do I owe the pleasure."

"Students. Two of em'. Out their beds. Boy and…a girl. Up to no good no doubt. Saw them canoodlin' out there in the snow didn't we Mrs Norris?"

Hermione gasped and almost screamed as a broom scratched against her shoulder. Draco's heart was racing and he cradled Hermione to him in the darkness.

"Oh Argus it's Christmas a time for cheer, joy, generosity and love don't you think? Now come the night is for the young."

Filch mumbled and muttered incoherently.

"Argus at any other time of year I would agree but it's Christmas. Now come let's have a glass of mead."

Hermione and Draco listened intently to their fading footsteps.

"Why does Dumbledore keep covering for us?" Whispered Hermione.

Draco shrugged deep in though as he led her out of the broom cupboard.

"I don't know but as long as he keeps doing it I don't care."

Hermione nodded but she wasn't quite satisfied.

Draco smiled softly but grinned at her frown lines.

"Now come on stop thinking so hard and let's get warm."

"Where are we going?" She asked as he led her down instead of up to the room of requirement.

"Pansy's asleep and there's no one else in our dorm."

Hermione halted hesitantly. Heat flooded her face. Alone. Would he take her to his room? His bed? It was too fast. Way too fast.

"Relax Granger. I won't bite." He said in such a seductive tone that Hermione shivered.

She grinned.

"I might though."

Draco's eyes widened and Hermione witnessed a rare flush spread across his cheeks.

"I'll be down in a minute I left something in my dorm." She said as she swiftly pecked him on the cheek leaving him dumbfounded outside the Slytherin common room.

Draco exhaled and ran a hand through his hair. Did she have any idea what she did to him? He rubbed his forearms self consciously as the fine blonde hairs on them stood on end. He'd known Hermione Granger intimately for ninety three days. Not long at all. But already he felt like they'd shared something that would stay with him forever. No matter what happened to them in the future it wouldn't change the wonderful ninety three days they'd shared. Hermione had shown him how to feel again. And that meant something. It meant everything. And he hoped to continue spending days in her presence when he returned.

Draco was lying on one of the black leather couches in the common room when Hermione entered. His eyes were closed and he looked calm and relaxed. The embers in the fireplace were dwindling and Hermione gently sidled up against Draco smiling at the way he shuffled his body sleepily to accommodate her. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled the throw over them both. His fingers drew lazy circles against her back. Hermione relaxed against him sighing contentedly. She'd never expected this to be the place she felt most safe in the entire world. Draco's hold was warm and secure but never suffocating.

"Mmm this is nice." She whispered.

Draco nodded as he pulled her even closer.

"I got you something by the way."

Hermione pulled back slightly.

Draco looked at her frown with a shy smile.

"You didn't have to do that." She replied with a hint of embarrassment.

"No. But I wanted to. It's no big deal."

Hermione's frown deepened in the dim light.

"What?" He asked.

Hermione shook her head with a soft smile.

"I have something for you too. It's not much. I just wish it could be more."

Draco smiled as he twirled locks of her soft unruly hair through his fingers.

"You've already given me enough."

Hermione shook her head in protest.

"I haven't given you anything."

"You've given me you." He replied as he caressed her cheek gently.

He smiled as he felt her smooth skin heat beneath his palm.

She kissed his palm lightly.

"If I'd known you felt that way I wouldn't have bothered." She said teasingly.

"You shouldn't have bothered that's what I'm trying to tell you!" He retorted.

Hermione placed a kiss on his mouth quickly.

"Oh shut up. It's Christmas don't be such a Scrooge about people trying to get you things."

She said leaving his side as she rooted around in her satchel.

"Scrooge? " He said with a frown.

"Here. " She said placing two small packages in his palm.

One was a book that had a sticky note over the title. The note read.

"To continue your muggle education."

He peeled it back slowly. Charles Dickens _A Christmas Carol._

"You'll like this one." She said shyly.

He kissed her cheek softly. He'd like it even more because she'd given it to him.

"Thanks."

"Open the box." She urged.

He shook his head.

"No you open one next."

He reached behind him and handed her two small packages.

She opened the first box and gasped. Inside was a tiny, beautifully crafted ice skate charm. The metal it was made from was unlike anything she'd ever seen. It sparkled in the light like snowflakes.

"Draco I couldn't possibly. This must've cost a fortune." She said in a whisper.

Hermione was by no means poor her parents were quite well off but the Malfoys were a whole different class of affluent. She didn't want to even hazard a guess at how much this had cost him.

"It doesn't matter. Do you like it?"

Hermione rolled her eyes at him.

"Of course I do. It's beautiful. I couldn't…"

"Yes you can." He said with a smile as he gently took her wrist in his hand.

Hermione always wore a charm bracelet which he assumed was a gift from her parents. It was a delicate silver chain with a book and a feather charm dangling from it currently. He gently attached his little ice skate and his smile widened as he watched her twisting her wrist this way and that watching it catch the light. It stood out from her other charms with the way it glinted but it also blended in quite well.

"That's when I knew for sure you know that day we went skating." He said softly.

"Knew what?" She asked hesitantly.

"That I'd do anything for you."

Hermione blushed and felt her heart stutter. Draco Malfoy was being completely sweet and romantic with her and she had no bloody idea how to respond to him.

She laughed as she recovered from his words.

"Oh. I knew way before that."

Draco frowned.

"You did?"

Hermione nodded.

"Probably right around the time Hagrid's chicken was trying to tear your arm off."

Draco laughed at the memory his cheeks tinting pink in embarrassment. He smiled gently she had changed around him since then and he was glad of it. Very glad.

"Thankyou. It's beautiful. I love it. Just promise me you won't ever tell me how much this cost."

She said with a soft touch of her lips to his. He nodded.

"Go on open the box!" She exclaimed gleefully.

Draco grinned at her childlike excitement.

He popped the box open and inside was a galleon. He frowned.

"Um thanks." He replied.

Hermione giggled.

"It's been charmed. I have one too. It's a way to communicate with each other. Owls get conspicuous and aren't always reliable. This way no matter where you are or who you're with if you need me just message me." She said with a smile.

Draco frowned as he glanced more closely at the coin. Where the numerals should be were the words 'Merry Christmas Draco.'

"Is this…did you make these with a protean charm?" He asked incredulously.

Hermione nodded shyly.

"It took a lot of time to get them right. And even now they're just working at a basic level if I'd had more time-"

Draco looked at her in complete astonishment.

"Basic? Hermione, accomplished witches and wizards who've graduated Hogwarts can't do protean charms. Extraordinary. You really are." He said rolling the coin between his fingers as he examined it.

Hermione blushed at the compliment.

"Now it doesn't matter how far apart we are I'll always answer right away." She said meaningfully.

Draco felt a lump of emotion rise in his throat. They couldn't be together like other couples could. But at least this way they'd always have a way to be connected. It was such a thoughtful gift.

"Thanks. Now I know I can get through this awful Malfoy Christmas party because you'll be there right in my pocket." He said gently.

Hermione smiled shyly as she explained how to use the coin. They tried it out with the coin's twin that lay in Hermione's pocket. They worked perfectly.

Draco kissed her lips gently he lingered until he felt her lips brush his. He pulled back enjoying the rush of colour to Hermione's lips and cheeks.

"Thanks. Now go on open it."

Hermione opened the box tentatively. It was a note. A very elegantly written note not in Draco's handwriting.

"To

Miss Hermione Jean Granger,

You are to be granted access to the restricted section and all other special collections held within this library at all times.

Kind regards,

Madame Pince."

Hermione's eyes widened and her mouth opened wide.

"How did you? I mean…who?" She stuttered.

Draco grinned.

"I told you I have my sources."

Hermione gripped Draco's face in her palms.

"Is this real? Really? Any time I want access? Anything? The rare collection of essays donated by Newt Scaramander himself that no other students have ever seen?"

Draco nodded. His grin widening as he saw how happy she was. Seeing her so happy filled his heart with pure joy.

"All of it. Any time you want. Did you know they even have Bathilda Bagshot's first edition of –mpffff."

Draco's words were silenced by Hermione's mouth as she practically launched herself at him. He lost balance as her body pressed against his. She pushed him against the back of the couch. Her knees were on either side of his hips. In that moment Hermione was simply so overwhelmed by joy that she didn't care if Draco's tongue ended up in her mouth at all. In fact she wanted it. Draco Malfoy had just given her the most thoughtful, wonderful gifts anyone could give her. She was done being scared by these feelings. His hands snaked around her back holding her close. She brushed her lips against his hard and he responded but she could see he was still holding back. She had never expected Malfoy to be so sensitive towards her. He'd been nothing but a gentleman for the past few weeks. She didn't want a gentleman right now. She wanted to feel his tongue on the roof of her mouth. His mouth was soft and pliant beneath hers as she tentatively brushed her tongue along the seam of his bottom lip. She shivered at the sensation. He froze beneath her and pulled back abruptly.

"I thought you said no tongue?" He asked with a quirked brow his voice husky and breathless. Damn was that sexy.

Hermione rolled her eyes.

"I changed my mind." She replied coolly.

"Well if I knew this was all it took to get a snog I would've given you that note earlier." He replied teasingly.

"Do you want to kiss me or not?" She replied impatiently. Hermione flushed at the neediness in her voice.

Draco nodded. His smart retort died on his lips as he took in Hermione's wonderfully breathless form. He did that to her. He felt heat pool in his abdomen as he pulled her close and let their lips touch. He gently and slowly let their tongues tangle together. Draco felt a giant jolt travel from his core right through to his fingertips as her tongue moved against his. Her fingers were weaving through his hair. She was pushing her body against him and his hands rested at the bottom of her jumper. He let his fingers explore the sliver of exposed smooth skin on her lower back below the hem of her jumper. Hermione's soft hair was caressing his face. He knew then in that moment as her vanilla lip balm swirled over his tongue that he would probably never kiss anyone like he was kissing her ever again in his life.

Hermione's hesitancy was fading away into confidence as she familiarised herself with the sensation. It was wonderful. It wasn't disgusting at all. She wondered how she'd ever thought anything about Draco could be disgusting. The kiss wasn't slobbery or wet in any way it was gentle and soft. She wanted to feel more. She deepened the kiss which earned a muffled surprised sound from Draco. She'd made him make that sound. Their bodies pulsed against one another's. She could feel the magic that was inside him coursing through her veins and tug at the connection between them. Draco was almost too distracted by her sweet mouth to feel the other strange sensations he was experiencing. It was like he was being physically tied to her. He didn't mind the feeling at all.

Hermione pulled back first attempting to catch her breath. She smiled as she caught Draco in a similar breathless state. His eyes were dark and hazy. His mouth deliciously plump and wet. So this is how it felt to want. Her heart was racing. She wanted to kiss him again. She would kiss him again.

"How did you manage to get me access to the library?" She asked with a smile on her lips.

No one would ever be able to give her a more thoughtful gift in her entire help she knew that already.

"Professor Snape offered his services." He said with a shrug.

Hermione gasped and her eyes went wide.

"Snape! But he hates me! Why would he do that for me…what did you do?"

Draco laughed at her worried incredulous expression.

"He doesn't hate you." He replied.

"Yes he does! My confusing concoction was almost textbook perfect last week and he deducted house points for it! He's always saying completely awful things about me or Harry and-"

"Did you ever think that maybe he's pretending like I am?" He asked softly.

Hermione frowned. She hadn't.

"Trust me he might not say nice things to your face but he thinks you're very talented. He told me so. And he wouldn't have helped me organise that for you if he hated you."

Hermione blushed. Did Snape really say that or was Draco just trying to make her feel better? Perhaps Snape was hiding like Draco. But why would he need to hide?

"No he helped you because you're his favourite. I had nothing to do with it." She replied with a shake of her head.

Draco rolled his eyes.

"I swear he wanted to do this for you. He's actively encouraging me to be with you as strange as that sounds." He said.

Hermione flushed and shook her head.

"It doesn't sound strange. I spoke to McGonagall a while ago and she more or less told me to come see you that night I first came to this common room."

Draco's eyes widened and he laughed.

"McGonagall! Bloody hell she's the last person I'd expect to say that to you. You're her favourite student and she hates me. I thought she'd be pushing you towards wonder boy Potter."

Hermione rolled her eyes.

"She doesn't hate you, well not anymore. She took quite a shine to you after that Quidditch game. She thinks I'm a good influence on you." She said with a shy smile.

Draco nodded.

"She's right. I'm an awful influence on you though." He said.

"How?" Asked Hermione.

"Launching yourself at me and sticking your tongue down my throat. All my bad influence." He said huskily.

Hermione blushed and grinned as she leant down to kiss him again.

"You gave me a library how else did you expect me to react?" She asked.

Draco laughed. Hermione wasn't like any other girls he'd known and he was infinitely happy about that.

"I'll have you know I expected nothing more than an innocent peck on the cheek." He replied.

Hermione smiled.

"You'd better be careful or I might have to launch myself at you again." She whispered.

He pulled her against him and let his mouth melt against hers. He was really going to miss her over the holidays. But at least they had tonight.

Draco groaned as something was shaking him. He was so warm and content. His lips still tasted like her vanilla lip balm. She was curled against his side her legs and arms tangled with his. Mmm so nice. He and Hermione had stayed up late. They drank hot chocolate and Hermione had started to read _A Christmas Carol_ aloud. He was pretty sure he'd fallen asleep to the sound of her voice. The shaking continued.

"We're going to miss our bloody train!" Screeched Pansy.

"Piss off Pansy." He mumbled.

"No chance lover boy. I'm not being responsible for you getting your arse kicked when your father asks me why you aren't there. Oh he's just spooning Granger on the couch."

Draco groaned as his eyes flickered open to find a scowling Pansy staring down at him. Hermione was curled into the hollow of his arm. He brushed her hair back she was still sleeping soundly. Good. He gently pressed a kiss to her rose scented hair. Pansy gagged and Draco narrowed his eyes at her. He extracted himself carefully from her sighing at the loss of her touch and got showered and changed quickly.

He adjusted his black coat around himself and glanced at the still sleeping Hermione. She was exhausted from attending all of her classes and all of their time hopping. She needed her rest.

"Aren't you going to say goodbye to her?" Asked Pansy from the door.

Malfoy shook his head.

"Let her sleep."

He prized _A Christmas Carol_ from her fingers and replaced it with a note. He leant down and kissed her lips gently. Pansy blushed at her intrusion on the surprisingly tender moment. She'd never seen Draco act that way before. She looked away giving them privacy. It didn't hurt to see them together it made her happy. She was beginning to move on from her Granger crush thanks to a completely mental but lovely Ravenclaw.

Draco held his arm out to Pansy and took both their bags in his hand.

"Let's go."

Pansy nodded as they walked to the station in the snow. Draco looked back towards the castle longingly. He felt the tugging sensation as he thought of Hermione. He was overcome by an overwhelming sensation to turn back and rush to her side. He halted feeling the connection stretch as he increased the distance between them. It hurt. Could she feel it too? Pansy urged him on with a soft smile which he returned tightly. They both knew how much he wanted to stay. But he couldn't. They had to go. He felt the elastic band that connected him to Hermione keep stretching and with each step the pain eased but it became more of a dull ache that gnawed away at his vulnerable heart.

Hermione pulled the blanket over her inhaling his scent. She was desperately clinging to his presence because she knew he was gone. Her eyes flickered open and she unfurled the note in her hand.

"I didn't want to wake you. You looked exhausted. All that kissing must have tired you out. I hope you have a lovely Christmas Hermione and New Year. I think it's really great what you're doing. I know how much you wanted to spend Christmas at home you really are a great friend. Just know I'll be carrying our coin in my pocket the whole time. If you ever need me I'll answer. I promise. Anything to get away from this awful party. Stay safe. Don't wander around without Potter or Weasley. I'll see you when I get back.

I'll miss you."

Hermione held the parchment against her heart as she felt her heart ache in her chest. He would miss her. She already did. Her body felt the loss of his presence. The connection between them was straining and she wanted nothing more than to reel him in towards her. But she couldn't. The ache reminded her of his absence and that hurt but t reminded her that he had been by her side and he would return. This was so strange. Was this type of connection normal? She really must investigate in the library at some point over the holiday.

It was already lunch time by the time she left the silent Slytherin common room. She made her way to lunch and neither Harry nor Ron questioned where she'd been. They both knew even if they didn't like it. She sighed forlornly as she looked out into the snow covered grounds that led towards the station. Her heart begged her to go after him but her head made her stay put.

"Are you and Malfoy like a thing now?" Asked Harry awkwardly.

Hermione blushed and hesitated.

"Not that it's any of our business right Harry?" Added Ron quickly with pointed look at Harry.

Hermione smiled at him. He really didn't want any fallings out to happen again.

"I suppose we are but it's…difficult." She said awkwardly.

"You're telling me." Said Ron with a grimace.

Hermione laughed and Harry relaxed seeing her reaction.

"Yeah. But I want you to know whatever is going on between Draco and I it doesn't affect how I feel about you two." She said reaching across the table and grabbing both of their hands.

Harry and Ron smiled at her.

"We know. If he hurts you though Hermione -." Said Ron.

Hermione rolled her eyes.

"I'm a big girl. I can take care of myself but thanks."

Harry and Ron nodded.

"We'll try harder. If you like him then…he can't be that bad." Said Harry in a strained voice.

Hermione's eyes widened. It had taken Harry a lot of effort to say that. She leapt over the table and crushed them both in a fierce hug. The boys helped fill the gaping hole in her chest from Draco's absence. They were at least trying for her and she loved them for it.

Christmas morning dawned and Hermione and the boys exchanged gifts in the common room. Harry frowned at a package that could only be a broomstick.

"Who's it from?" Asked Hermione.

Harry shrugged.

"There's no note."

The brown paper fell away with one brush of his hand revealing a beautiful, brand new firebolt.

The chocolate frog Ron was devouring dropped from his mouth.

"Bloody hell Harry that's a brand new firebolt!"

Harry grinned and ran his hands over the broom.

Hermione's heart raced and her stomach dropped. No note. What if someone wanted to hurt Harry? Someone who had already tried this year…

"Come on there's time before lunch let's go out and fly it." Said Ron excitedly.

"No." Said Hermione her voice wavering and her stomach knotted with worry.

"Harry. That broom what if the person who's given it to you has cursed it. You could get hurt Harry. What if this is just another way of Sirius Black trying to get to you?" She said desperately.

Ron hesitated seeming to think over her words. Harry shook his head.

"Hermione that doesn't make any sense."

Hermione shook her head.

"I know it doesn't but you have to be careful Harry. I can't let you just go out on that. You could be killed! I really think we should take it to McGonagall to be checked over, just as a precaution."

Harry sighed.

"No way she'd confiscate it." Exclaimed Ron.

Hermione felt anger bubble beneath her skin.

"Harry your life is more bloody important than a broomstick!"

Ron nervously began to edge between them at the impending tension filling the air.

"Hermione you don't understand-just leave it alright." Said Harry warningly.

Hermione felt tears sting her eyes.

"You're right maybe I don't. Because I don't see how you can want to ride that knowing he could have sent it to you! It isn't safe. Look I know how much you miss flying and quidditch but please don't put yourself in danger."

Harry softened slightly.

"We'll deal with this later alright. Let's go see Hagrid before lunch. Something we all agree on yeah?" Said Harry.

Both Ron and Hermione nodded in agreement.

Harry and Ron ran up to their dorm to get their cloaks. Hermione frowned as she heard muffled voices and a rising emotional voice that sounded like Ron's.

"Hermione get up here!" Shouted Ron.

Hermione winced as her heart raced. Not good.

"Your bloody demon cat has eaten Scabbers!" Said Ron angrily as he pointed to blood on his pillowcase.

"Ron Crookshanks has been in my dorm all morning I swear."

The tips of Ron's ears were bright red.

"I left him right here Hermione. Your mangy furball is always chasing after Scabbers don't deny it."

Harry looked between them awkwardly. Hermione knew he agreed with Ron but wasn't willing to risk his friendship with Hermione over it. Her hear sank this was awful. She'd tried to do the right thing by staying by her friends. But perhaps she should have just gone home. It would have been easier on everyone. Ron hated her because he blamed her for killing Scabbers. Harry hated her for even suggesting to get the broom checked. She was just making everything worse.

Hermione wanted to cry. She wanted to run into Draco's arms. She felt a tug just beind her navel. But he wasn't here. He was gone. She wanted to go home. To see her parents. To have her mum brush her hair and tell her everything would be fine like she had done when she was small. She wanted to go home to Draco where no one could hurt them. She needed to get away from here.

"I'm sorry about Scabbers. Ron I swear Crookshanks hasn't left my room even if you don't believe me you have to know. I thought I was helping by staying but I see now I'm just in the way." She said as tears filled her eyes.

Harry grabbed her hand halting her exit.

"Hermione don't go. It's Christmas where are you going to go? Stay with us. Ron knows you're sorry."

Hermione shook her head.

"You two go to Hagrid's. I'll see you at lunch." She said with a tight smile.

Harry nodded. He didn't like leaving Hermione on her own. But it was the best solution of keeping both Ron and Hermione on speaking terms.

"Do you really trust she won't say anything to McGonagall about the broom while we're gone?" Asked Ron his eyes narrowing suspiciously on Hermione.

"I bloody well should Ronald Weasley but I won't! Am I such a crap friend for wanting Harry to be safe?! You don't trust me. Fine. I really don't need this. I'm going –"

"To see him?" Asked Ron.

Hermione flushed and shook her head.

"No. Draco is home for the holidays and I doubt I'd be welcomed there." She said as tears continued to prickle at here eyes.

"Why are you going out with that death eater scum anyway? He's just trying to get into your knickers." said Ron coldly.

"Ron!" Harry exclaimed.

"What? You said it yourself?" Said Ron defiantly.

Harry's cheeks tinted pink and Hermione knew it was true.

"So that's how you both really feel? I expected this reaction. But not from the both of you. " She said as she left the room before the tears she'd been holding back fell.

Hermione lay on her bed in her dorm room alone. She wiped her tears away roughly. Ron's words had hurt. And Harry's silence had spoken volumes. She felt so terribly alone. Everyone else would be in the great hall eating Christmas lunch right now. Crookshanks nuzzled against her arm.

"Merry Christmas Crooks. This is all your fault you know. I really hope you didn't eat Scabbers."

She said softly.

Crookshanks gave her an innocent nudge and she sighed. It wasn't Crookshanks fault even if he had eaten Scabbers. Ron and Harry would've fallen out with her anyway over the firebolt or over Draco. They couldn't seem to agree on anything and it made her feel so terribly sad and alone. Couldn't they see how happy Draco made her? She glanced at the glittering ice skate on her wrist turning it between her fingers. Her heart ached. She missed him already.

"He's just trying to get in your knickers."

Ron's words echoed in her head. The words had hurt her but she knew in her heart they were untrue. Draco had been nothing but gentle and sensitive. She'd even been the one to instigate the kissing last night. She cradled her pillow to her chest. She craved the comfort of his arms.

She felt the coin in her pocket grow hot. Her heart raced. Draco.

"Save me. Purebloods descending en masse."

She smiled at the message feeling a lump form in her throat. Well she wasn't the only one having a shit Christmas.

She took out her wand.

"Worst Christmas ever. You have my sympathy."

Only a second passed before her coin grew hot.

"What's wrong?"

"I'll owl you. Too long for coin. Don't worry I'm safe and fine."

Hermione ran to the owlery.

She pulled parchment from her bag and wrote restlessly.

Draco felt worry settle in his stomach. Not good. He'd been thinking of Hermione all day and her message had confirmed his fears. For some reason he'd felt worried and restless as if she needed him. As if she was calling him to her side. But he couldn't go anywhere. He was trapped in his house filled with snooty purebloods and enough canapés to choke a hippogriff. He weaved through the amassing purebloods that were arriving for Christmas lunch smiling tightly. Now to wait.

Draco's leg was jiggling beneath the table and his mother and Pansy who were on either side of him noted his nerves. Pansy shot him a warning glance. She forcefully placed her hand over his knee and he looked at her nodding. Oh bloody hell hurry up! This was torture. He smiled tightly at his mother who was looking at him with a worried expression. He continued to cut his beef shank into tinier and tinier shreds but ate nothing. He knew it would be delicious but he wasn't hungry in the slightest. Come on Hermione. It had been ages since he's heard from her. He kept discreetly checking the coin and nothing. He gave a sigh of relief as the dinner service ended. The party began to break off into separate rooms. The women went to the drawing room to drink and discuss their awful husbands . And the men to the games room to get drunk and complain about their wives. Anyone under sixteen was allowed to go to the sitting room and that's where he, Pansy, Blaise, Nott and Daphne were currently headed. Blaise and Nott began to play chess while Daphne sat watching the two looking bored. She kept sneaking glances at Pansy and Draco smiled. Maybe things weren't so over between them.

Pansy elbowed him in the ribs as they sat on the window seat.

"What was with you at dinner?" Whispered Pansy.

"Something's up with Granger."

Pansy frowned.

"What?" She asked.

He shrugged.

"She said she'd owl me but I haven't heard back."

Pansy smiled at him shaking her head.

"Bloody hell that little witch has got you wrapped right round her little finger. You're really worried about her aren't you?" She asked gently.

Draco rolled his eyes but nodded. He was.

"I'm sure she's alright. Granger's pretty tough."

Malfoy nodded and smiled as he thought of the fiercely independent Hermione in his mind her beautiful brown eyes blazing.

"Yeah. Thanks Pansy." He said as he squeezed her hand gratefully.

Daphne sent him a glare and he grinned.

"I thought you said it was over with Greengrass? She looks like she wants to castrate me just for holding your hand."

Pansy discreetly looked across at the table and supressed a giggle.

"Well what can I say once you've had a taste of Parkinson you don't go back."

Draco laughed.

"I beg to differ. No offense but I won't be going back for seconds." He said teasingly.

Pansy shoved him playfully.

She blushed remembering their rather awkward first and last snogging session last summer. It had been her first kiss and Draco's. Afterwards they had both laughed at their spectacularly failed experiment. Draco was like a brother. She'd thought that had been why she'd felt nothing but now she knew it was more than that. It was because Draco was a boy.

"None taken. The feeling's completely mutual. I've got my eye on another blonde so Daphne will just have to pine."

Draco smiled.

"Oh yeah? Got a thing for blondes don't you?" He teased.

Pansy nodded.

"And brunettes…and redheads…doesn't matter really. It's all about what's inside isn't it?"

Draco's eyes widened.

"Did you really just say that?"

Pansy flushed.

"Well it's true. It's a person's personality, heart and soul you fall for isn't it?"

Draco nodded at Pansy's surprisingly sensitive words. She was usually quite brash. Draco smiled.

"You must really like this blonde she's turned you soft." He said.

Pansy nodded shyly.

"Maybe but I'm still cruel compared to you. Your street cred is crumbling ever since you've become besotted with Granger. You do seem happier though."

Draco grinned not offended in the slightest.

"I am happier."

A tap at the window and a whoosh of wings startled Pansy and Draco. Draco's heart raced as he took off the thick note attached. It was Granger. Blaise and Nott gave the owl a fleeting glance before returning to their chess game.

Draco discreetly pocketed the letter. Pansy gave him a nod as he left for the privacy of his room. He tore up the stairs grateful for the mumbled laughter and voices he could hear issuing from the drawing and games room. No one would notice his absence. He closed his bedroom door and began to read her words hungrily. The note was short and to the point. Those two bloody idiots. He felt anger wash over him. How could they act like that and on Christmas day of all days? She'd given up her own Christmas to be with Harry and he'd treated her like shit. He didn't care about what they'd said about him. He'd heard it all before. But in the process they'd disrespected Hermione too. They'd ruined Hermione's Christmas by essentially calling her a liar, a rat killer and a slag. Nice. His fingers shook as he popped the note in his drawer. His mother and never checked his room and the note wasn't signed anyway and she hadn't used names either. He opened the thick envelope at the back.

 **Reasons Why I Like Draco Malfoy**

The way you chop a bezoar in three perfectly equal slices.

The way you always offer me the last piece of chocolate even when it's your favourite Honeyduke's.

The way you say my name to check if I'm asleep.

The way you hold me when you see that I'm cold.

The way your eyes look when you smile.

The way your skin smells after a shower.

The way I don't care you cuddle with me on the couch even if you are still in sweaty, muddy quidditch robes.

The way you always hold the page you're reading carefully while you search for a bookmark because you refuse to dog ear it.

The way your forehead wrinkles when you write an essay.

The way we can share a book and neither of us has to wait for the other before we turn the page.

The way you make me feel brave.

The way you laugh.

The way you make me feel beautiful.

The way you blush when I say something unexpected.

The way you always seem to know what to say to make everything right again.

The way your soft hands get rough after herbology.

The way you –

Draco stopped reading for a moment as he flicked through the pages. The list continued on indefinitely. He felt his heart swell in his chest from her words. He wasn't going to let her have a shitty Christmas. No way. Especially not after this. He was going to do the right thing. He put her letter in the drawer carefully. He glanced at his watch 8:45. He had to be fast. He ran downstairs smiling at Mrs Parkinson as her eyes rested on him suspiciously. He needed to get to her. Now.

Malfoy popped his head around the door and motioned towards Pansy. Blaise and Nott barely looked up from their game but Greengrass was livid. She frowned but left the room with him.

"You have to help me get back to Hogwarts." He whispered as he led her towards the games room.

"What?!" Screeched Pansy in disbelief.

"Shhhh keep your voice down."

"Why the hell would I do that?"

"She needs me."

"Oh bloody hell I'm not losing my life over helping you get the leg over-"

"That's not it. She's alone Pans. I'm not letting her spend her favourite day of the year alone."

Pansy sighed as she softened at Draco's desperate voice. He really did care about Hermione. And no one deserved to be alone today. Draco Malfoy was going to be the death of her.

"How can I help?"

Draco smiled and embraced her impulsively. Pansy froze but returned his warm embrace.

"You're turning into a bloody Gryffindor. Half baked plans. Cuddles? Bloody Hell what next?"

Draco blushed and rolled his eyes at her. The worst part was she was right. Hermione Granger was slowly but surely driving him mad.

"I have a plan and it's more Slytherin than Gryffindor. It requires misdirection and deceit."

Pansy's lips curved into a devilish smirk.

"My favourite kind."

"Right so you want me to somehow manage to empty the games room of people?" She asked incredulously.

"Yes. I really don't care how you do it. But I need to use the fireplace in there it's the only one connected to the floo. I'll floo into Snape's office. He'll open the connection for me if I owl him now."

Pansy nodded.

"But what will I say to cover for you being mysteriously gone?"

"You shouldn't have to if I time this right. If something goes wrong and I don't meet you back in this hallway at 10 o'clock then tell my parents I've gone to bed with a headache."

Pansy still looked confused but nodded.

"I'll be back in five minutes just grabbing my coat and going to owl Snape."

Pansy nodded and waited patiently as she tried to think of a way to empty a games room full of drunken men.

Draco flung his coat on as he desperately searched for parchment sending off a note to Snape.

"Sir can you open the floo in your office? It's Granger. Need to pop back. Thanks. Draco Malfoy."

He sent it off watching the eagle owl fade into the darkness.

He held Hermione's coin in his fingers.

"I'm coming. Meet me in ROR 9:30. Don't argue. I can get away safely don't worry."

He descended the stairs two at a time. He waited on the staircase discreetly crouching at the bottom of it as he nodded towards Pansy. She returned his nod and after knocking she entered the room. He waited patiently for what seemed like forever. Then she left the room with a pack of men following her. She winked at Draco grinning and he grinned back. Bloody hell 15 years old and she had them all wrapped around her finger just like that. He had no idea what she'd told them to make them abandon their brandy but he didn't care. He owed Pansy big.

He rushed into the now abandoned room and grasped for the floo powder.

"Hogwarts Professor Snape's Office." He stated.

He felt the coin in his pocket grow hot but he had no time to check as the emerald flames consumed him and he felt the sickening tug behind his navel as he flew through the network. He really hoped Snape had got his letter. It didn't have far to go that bloody owl better have been speedy.

He arrived in Snape's office clambering out of the fireplace. He checked his watch it was 9:20. Ten minutes to reach the Room of Requirement. He clambered out of the fireplace dusting the soot off of his expensive coat and tuxedo. His mother was going to kill him if his father didn't. Snape cleared his throat urging him to explain. Draco flushed under his intense gaze.

"No time Sir. Thanks I'll explain later I promise." He said over his shoulder as he ran up to the seventh floor easily. The castle was deserted even Peeves seemed to have deserted the place. He checked the Room of Requirement she wasn't here yet. He checked his coin.

"NO Stay where you are. Not safe. I'm fine." Draco smiled he could almost hear her bossy voice.

"I'm here come get me." He replied.

He waited patiently his heart still racing from his hasty getaway.

Hermione gasped. Draco Malfoy was insane. He could have been killed and he'd risked everything…because of her. She felt her heart rise in her chest. She smiled and felt her sadness begin to slink away. He was here. The memories from her earlier argument with the boys faded to background noise.

"I need to see Draco." She thought outside the door.

She desperately sprung the door handle open and grinned as he stood there looking like the most beautiful thing she'd ever laid eyes on. He was wearing a tailored tuxedo all black except for his pristine white shirt. His hair was slicked back neatly and he had a small smudge of soot on his nose.

He made his way over to her and held her in his arms firmly. He inhaled her rose and lavender scent and felt the unease he'd felt all day slip away in his arms.

"What the hell are you doing here Draco Malfoy?!" She shouted indignantly as she pulled back from him.

He smiled at her. He knew she worried about him but the way her arms still held his told him she didn't want him to leave her.

"I couldn't let you spend your shit Christmas alone. I thought we could spend it together."

Hermione's eyes began to look wet and she wiped her eyes.

Malfoy's heart sank as he stroked her hair tenderly.

"Don't cry. I thought you'd at least be a little bit happy to see me." He teased.

"I am happy you idiot!" She said in a muffled emotional voice.

Malfoy smiled and pulled her close.

"I'm sorry you've had a really crap Christmas Granger."

Hermione wrapped her arms around him and pressed her lips against his jaw. He shivered at how warm and wonderful she felt. If he wrote his own list for her this would be number one.

"It doesn't matter now. You're here. How did you get here?" She asked incredulously as she wiped her tears away.

Draco grimaced.

"It involved a carefully engineered diversion by Pansy, lots of brandy and a floo network."

Hermione laughed.

"You're amazing you know." She said shyly.

Draco felt his face heat.

"I know I read your note."

Hermione blushed.

"Oh."

Draco held her face in his hands forcing her to look at him.

"It was lovely. It made my Christmas honestly. Well apart from being here with you now."

Draco glanced at his watch. Quarter to ten they had to do this now for it to work.

"You got your time turner?"

Hermione frowned but nodded as she pulled it from her jumper.

Draco pulled his own out.

"Bloody hell we're going to have to do about thirty six turns to get back to this morning."

Hermione frowned.

"What? Where are we going?" She asked.

"I'm taking you to your parents. At least this way you can have a good Christmas."

Hermione shook her head as she smiled sadly.

"That's a wonderful idea Draco but we couldn't. It wouldn't be right. Dumbledore said we had to be careful and you'd get caught and-"

Draco pressed his lips to hers to silence her and smiled as she responded to his kiss.

"Don't think just trust me alright. I'll get us back in plenty of time no one will know. If we go now you'll have cover until 10 o'clock. Come on let's go."

Hermione nodded with a nervous smile as they began to twist their time turners in perfect sync. They'd gotten used to the sensation by now as the room blurred around him. Her eyes caught his and he smiled. Draco Malfoy was going to spend both of his Christmases helping her. She knew undoubtedly that Draco Malfoy was the best thing that had happened to her this year that was almost at its end.

AN: Omg thankyou for the love for this story everyone. I love you all. Also if you made it to the end of this monster chapter have a biscuit on me! Next chapter we have Christmas!...again. But this time it's Christmas at the Grangers! Prepare for fish out of water wizard in a muggle house Draco. Yikes.


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